Not Easily Washed Away
by Literary Anomaly
Summary: Story takes place some time after the Hime Festival. Natsuki confronts Shizuru about her confession only to be shunned.. What follows is the realization of just how deep the brunette's madness truly runs.
1. Chapter 1

Okay so… This is a new story I am working on. It is of course Natsuki + Shizuru, and YES they are probably going to be viewed as OOC in this story. NEWA deals with some dark stuff pertaining to Shizuru's insanity, things that happened to poor Natsuki while she was "sleeping" and some more not so nice topics. I hope that you will enjoy reading! As always leave a comment if you so choose :) They're all appreciated.

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**Not Easily Washed Away**

"How can you stand there and lie to my face like that?" Natsuki's voice was bitter and cold, icy like the rain that had dampened her clothes, causing them to cling to her body. Matted hair hung around her face, framing the scowl etched there. She was standing tensely on the front steps to Shizuru's home, her rage undeniable.

In front of her and partially hidden by the heavy wooden door stood Shizuru. Her head was lowered slightly to keep from having to meet the cold gaze of the emerald eyes staring her down. Despite the sadness in those crimson eyes her mouth had the barest hint of a smile. How could she dare to smile at a time like this? 'Forever hold onto that mask, darling. For when someone can interpret your feelings, they can destroy you.' hadn't that been what her mother told her all of those years ago?

"Natsuki,..." Shizuru said as little more than a whisper, her words devoid of any emotion. "Whatever it is that you believe, you're mistaken."

There it was another lie from the brunette's mouth. Natsuki bit the inside of her cheek to stop the string of obscenities that threatened to spill forth. She'd come to Shizuru for answers, yet here she stood in the rain getting nothing but a vicious circle of untruth. "I saw it, Shizuru." Natsuki said her voice gruff. "I saw the way you looked at me at the end of the battle when I held you in my arms. You confessed everything to me with that one look." The hard edge to the girl's voice wavered slightly and her cheeks were wet, but it wasn't from the rain.

Shizuru's chest tightened, as did her grip on the door blocking her body from view. It began to close but Natsuki stopped the motion by slamming her hand into it and forcing her body between it and the jamb. Crimson eyes widened and Shizuru took a step back, caught off guard by the sudden movement of the other girl. "Talk to me, Damnit!" Natsuki shrieked, her chest heaving from her frustration.

What were once notoriously bright crimson eyes were now hazed over with unshed tears, though they would remain just that... Unshed. Her body straightened, now rigid as she faced Natsuki for the first time since the girl arrived on her door step. "What do you want me to say, Natsuki?" Her tone was harsh, as cold as the blue haired Hime's had been. "Do you want me to say that I am in love with you?" Shizuru spat, her face showed the obvious frustration brewing inside of her.

Natsuki gasped softly at the words, her eyes widening slightly. Shizuru chuckled dryly at the reaction, having figured that it was only fitting. "It wasn't only my body that shattered that day, but more importantly my heart. I realized whatever it was I had tricked myself into wanting was no more than an illusion. My sanity was depleted and what I wove was a tapestry of violence and destruction that can never be undone." Crimson eyes narrowed dangerously, venom was now inching into the cold voice of the brunette. "I tried to believe the blood on my hands was justified..." Her voice trailed slightly, cracking in places but she finished just the same. "I was wrong."

Whatever light had briefly returned to crimson eyes vanished along with her words and they were once again dull and lifeless. Natsuki shuddered from the look in them and turned her head. What could she say? Pain had overtaken her head, throbbing behind her eyes. This was all too much. Who was this person in front of her? It wasn't the Shizuru she knew...

"Leave." The one word caused Natsuki's head to snap upward, cold blues meeting dead crimson. She wanted to shove that door open and force Shizuru to stop this ridiculous behavior, make the girl explain herself but she couldn't even move. The absolute absence of life in those red eyes turned her blood cold. Her mouth tried to find the words to fight back but a hand on her shoulder suddenly shoved her forcefully back onto the porch. Without hesitation the heavy door slammed shut in Natsuki's face, her eyes widening yet again.

"Shizuru..." She whispered, jerking her body forward and ramming a shoulder into the wood. "Open the fucking door!" Natsuki's voice was strained, her hands beating the wood mercilessly. Repeatedly she rammed her shoulder against it; until she was sure she'd dislocated the appendage. It proved useless in the end. Despite her desperate barrage the door still stood.

Her body was sore. The pain inside her head reverberated the length of her entire form, thudding inside of her which caused her to wince deeply. Finally exhausted her limp body slid down the front of the door and she collapsed against it sobbing. Her mind screamed in frustration, echoing inside her skull painfully. Why was Shizuru shutting her out? After they had been through so much. Natsuki's heart cringed causing her to whimper and the cold night air stung her raw throat.

On the opposite side of the door Shizuru stood quietly. Her head hung low, those chestnut colored bangs covering her eyes which were cast to the floor. There was no reflection of feeling but rather an emptiness that spoke volumes of the depths to which she'd fallen. Slowly her feet began to carry her down a narrow corridor that was lined with candles. That was the only source of light in the entire house. Tiny dancing flames lapped at the surrounding darkness trying almost in vain to keep it at bay. Unfortunately the master of the house had already been consumed.

One of the several doors lining the corridor was slid open and Shizuru stepped inside a bare room devoid of any furniture save a shrine and a floor mat. As the door was closed behind her she took to seiza and lowered her head to the ground. The cool wood felt nice against her feverish forehead. The robes of her kimono are loosened and the fabric fell across her shoulders. "How many people died because of me..." She murmured while lifting something from the shrine.

A loud crack filled the room followed by a whimper. "How many families were destroyed...?" She asked herself and then there was another crack. Beneath the sleeve of her kimono a stream of blood began dripping onto the wooden floor. Her body quivered slightly but there was yet another loud cracking sound, this one followed with a gasp. Her hands lowered in front of her, bracing her body. In her right hand she gripped a solid black cat of nine tails. Each of the tails had been fitted with slivers of steel that ate into her back upon each lashing.

Once composed she lifted herself back into proper seiza, her body rigid. The black and red kimono had fallen off of her upper half completely and bunched at her waist, revealing several old scars and some fresh wounds that had yet to scab over. The stinging barbs of the cat of nine tails bit into her shoulders yet again, ripping the skin and flaying it open. This time she hadn't flinched. Blood spattered against the floor, pooling in various spots inside the mahogany cracks. Another flicker of the weapon slit a deep gash on her left shoulder and dark crimson liquid bubbled to the surface instantly.

For fifteen grueling minutes the horrid purification continued until finally Shizuru's body could take no more. She'd collapsed against the cold floor, her kimono spilling around her along with the blood she had shed. In the short time since the festival's end, Shizuru had managed to withdraw herself completely from the world she'd known. No longer had she attended school and all attempts to reach her on the part of the Student Council had failed. Anyone who came to her home were met with silence, she didn't bother to answer the door. Today had been the first day Natsuki had seen her since the day they'd both died.

Shizuru wished she had remained dead. At least in death she could have put to rest the memories of what she'd done. When had she become such a monster? She had battled with her inner demons for quite some time. The events of the festival had merely given her a reason to let them out to play and now she lived in remorse, every day filled with a new found regret. Her mind had finally began to shatter under the pressure and she'd felt seclusion was the only option sufficient for her crimes. To Shizuru, she didn't deserve to have the compassion of the other Hime; none of them had sinned as much as she. Alone she would purify her body, purge the sinful blood that scorched through her veins. Only alone could she wallow in the emptiness she felt in her soul.

--

It had been well after midnight when Natsuki finally made her way back inside her stark apartment. Too exhausted to cry any more she'd shrugged off her sopping clothing and fell into bed. Sleep eluded her and she gave up after an hour of lying awake, staring up at the white wash ceiling. The worn in navy couch offered no comfort either, nor did the mindless television that flashed in her listless emerald eyes. She picked idly at the boxers that covered her lower half, her mind racing in several different directions.

Scenes from earlier flashed in her minds eye, replaying over and over again cruelly taunting her. _'Leave' _that coldly spoken word reverberated through her mind. It had felt like a stake through her heart when she'd heard Shizuru say it. Why was it so very easy for Shizuru to push her away? Before, she had been around all of the time. Quite the nuisance if Natsuki remembered correctly. However now since the conclusion of the festival, Shizuru had resigned herself to seclusion. She was either unwilling or incapable of allowing others into her life, even Natsuki. Considering the past that fact alone was simply unacceptable.

There were so many questions she wanted to clarify with the other girl. So many words and feelings left unspoken and unfulfilled between them. Still yet when she had tried to question Shizuru she was met with complete resistance. Not to mention the fact Shizuru had plainly lied to Natsuki's face when confronted about her love confession. A troubled sigh passed the dark haired Hime's lips and her eyes closed tightly. The absence of Shizuru had caused an ache inside of her heart. Never had she realized how dear to her the other girl actually was. Of course she knew Shizuru turned out to be her most important person but since the festival she'd not been able to talk to the girl about any of it.

"Why do you push me away now?" She asked no one in particular while slumping over onto the soft cushions. Her head still hurt just as much as before but she knew no amount of aspirin would quell the pain. For what seemed like hours she laid there staring blankly at the flickering screen repeating the same infomercials.

At some point she must had fallen asleep. From the curtains thin rays of sunlight scattered and lit up the dull white carpet signaling the night had once again been vanquished. Subtle snoring came from the lifeless figure still on the couch. Murmured words were but incomprehensible phrases broken up in a made up language until she shot up off of the couch, her chest heaving. A hand clutched the area above her heart as if that would slow the rapid beating. She had a nightmare.

Crimson eyes so lifeless and dull.

Crimson eyes bled crimson tears.

She had seen Shizuru's once serene face clouded by remorse and anguish. Twin trails of blood were cried from those crimson eyes. Natsuki rubbed the image from her eyes with her hands while stumbling toward the bathroom. Her legs were still asleep so walking was a bit difficult. She decided quickly upon entering that a hot shower seemed heavenly after she'd stood in the rain for so very long the night before. A chance glance at the clock on her night stand revealed it to be eight thirty in the morning. Already she was late to class but the thought merely registered partly of the way as she stripped and settled her body under the massaging stream of scorching water.

--

The candles had all melted. Wax cascaded down the table legs and pooled on top of the hard wood floor, leaving quite the mess. Crimson eyes had been open for some time now, though Shizuru hadn't lifted herself from the spot which she'd fallen the previous night. Still she was slumped over, head resting against the floor. Those eyes were as lifeless as ever, not one ounce of feeling showed behind them. Was she even alive?

Slowly a hand lifted her body from the ground and she sat up in seiza. If alive simply meant breathing then yes, she was alive. If alive meant something more in a spiritual sense, then she had been dead for quite some time. Dark circles permanently shadowed the under side of her eyes but she'd given up caring for her appearance months ago.

She stood from seiza; her head bowed and stepped out of the fallen kimono. It's discarded in an overflowing hamper at the side of the door which she walked out of afterward. It was time for her morning shower but it was not something done for comfort. The water spewed down across her beaten, cut up body. It might have been little ice crystals as cold as it was. Pain shocked her system but she didn't mind. Pain was her companion. The only companion she was worthy of having.

Her arms wrapped themselves around her mangled body as if to protect it from the barrage of ice that rained from above. Shizuru looked thin. Her ribs protruded from under pale flesh, the outline of bone could clearly be seen the length of her entire body. One would describe her as nearing skeletal. Food had lost its taste and with that it's appeal.

Wrapped in a fresh kimono the same style and color of the one she'd worn previously she entered the kitchen and began taking things from the cabinets. A pot was heated over the stove and she easily created what looked to be curry of some sort. Rice was steaming in another pot adjacent to the one she currently worked with. Once the meal was completed it's presented on a platter in a beautiful dish and left on the kitchen table. Spicy scent filled the air and mixed with the lingering smell of something most foul.

Along the opposite ends of the table were similar dishes that had once been filled with delicious foods much like that had just been prepared. They were now rotted, covered in green mold. Fruit had withered, meat had been consumed by flies and birthed maggots which thrived on the remains. Shizuru took her leave from the kitchen apparently unfazed by the disgusting mess she'd let accumulate over the months. Having the scent of food filling the house as she starved herself was another way she'd found to torment her body.

As she walked along the narrow corridor fresh candles were put out but the wax residue from the previous ones was left to pile up in the floor. She hadn't bothered to clean any of it up, what was the point? After the little task she carried herself to the back gardens and took up seiza on a wicker mat situated in front of a stagnant pond. This particular garden used to house thousands of lush, beautiful plants and flowers. Now there was nothing but decayed vegetation and weeds that devoured the entire landscape. It was depressing but Shizuru again seemed unfazed as she stared into the murky water.

--

Emerald eyes peered out of the window to the cafeteria. The food Natsuki had purchased sat in front of her getting cold, not that she noticed. The orange haired girl that sat across from her kept shooting worried glances in her direction, but she hadn't noticed that either.

"Natsuki, are you going to eat your food?" An innocent Mikoto finally asked as she crept into view on the opposite side of Mai. The question seemed to pull the dark haired girl from her reverie because she gave the young one a sideways glance before shoving her tray toward her. Mikoto grinned with delight and eagerly set to devouring the free meal. Mai looked disapproving but said nothing as she finished her own lunch. Natsuki had been silent since she first showed up at school this morning, late as usual.

After several minutes of awkward silence Mai finally sighed. "Natsuki, you really should eat something you know?" The dark haired girl blinked back to reality once more and looked over to Mai with furrowed brows. The question finally registered.

"I'm fine, not much of an appetite." She replied dryly and resumed focusing on the horizon outside of the window. A troubled look settled on Mai's face but what more could she say? It's not like she could have forced the chopsticks into Natsuki's mouth. Rather than pester her about food any longer Mai changed the subject but as she did she feared the reaction would be fierce. Still yet she had questions of her own.

"I heard you went to see Kai... I mean Shizuru yesterday. Is that true?" Mai's voice sounded so hopeful.

Natsuki grimaced and steeled her gaze, unable to meet the other girl's stare. "She wouldn't let me inside; rather she slammed the door in my face."

Mai's eyes widened. If anyone had any sort of chance at getting Shizuru to open up it would have been Natsuki. To hear the Kaichou treated her in such a way was close to unbelievable. "So it's true then." Mai said softly. "She's really given into her despair?"

Natsuki rubbed her temples irritably as her eyes closed. "I don't know what she thinks she's doing, but I'm worried. This isn't like Shizuru... I don't..." her voice trailed off briefly and her brows furrowed. She was doing her best not to cry. "I don't know the girl I saw yesterday."

The orange haired girl reached out and placed a hand on Natsuki's shoulder, squeezing it tenderly. "Maybe she just needs time, Natsuki. You said yourself the festival was devastating to her. I mean we all saw how she cracked."

Natsuki jerked her head up and slid Mai's hand from her shoulder roughly. "You don't understand, you didn't see her yesterday!" She howled, causing a shocked expression to come over her friend.

"You're right." Mai said as she looked away from Natsuki's intense stare. She'd only heard bits and pieces of what Shizuru had done during the festival. Mai had no idea the full extent besides the obvious insanity that had taken over the Student Council President.

Mikoto had listened quietly while the two girls talked. She didn't want to interrupt but she had questions she wanted to ask. "If Kaichou likes you so much then why is she being mean?" The young girl finally asked. She still had a light ring of food around her mouth. Mai patted the girl's head and wiped her mouth while Natsuki just stared at her. It must have been nice to be so naive.

"Kaichou is just having a rough time, Mikoto." Mai told the girl reassuringly and to her surprise Natsuki nodded in agreement. Mikoto nodded as well and seemed satisfied for the moment. Mai looked up and met emerald eyes with her own, offering out a weak smile. Natsuki looked so hurt... It broke Mai's heart to see her friend in such a state, though there was nothing she could do.

--

Clouds floated so very carelessly above head, circling the moon and drifting on. The rain that had fallen the before cleared out of the region and left the night cool and pleasant. Shizuru had remained in seiza throughout the day over looking that dead pond. Moss bubbled to the surface, algae clumped on the built up bank and gave off a foul smell. She hadn't noticed. Only when the night air had been too cold to bear any longer had she finally retreated into her home. Though she had simply gone back to the empty shrine room and taken up seiza there instead.

A brief prayer is uttered from her lips before she reached to take hold of the cat of nine tails. Like before the robes of her kimono are removed from her upper body and she began the painful cleansing. Tonight it had taken five cracks from the weapon before she'd faltered and almost slumped over from the pain. Through clenched teeth that threatened to shatter she'd forced herself to persevere. That evening she'd eventually passed out, falling forward with her cheek pressed against the floor. Her back was completely flayed open; blood trickled freely from the massive damage and soaked the kimono bunched at her hips.

When she finally awoke her mouth tasted bitter. Slowly she sat up, immediately grimacing from the pain that shot through her body starting at her back. She almost fell over but managed to catch herself with her palms pressed firmly into the floor. A ragged breath is sucked between clenched teeth and her brows furrowed deeply, leaving a crease in her forehead. "This pain... I deserve this..." Her voice cracked and then she slumped over, unable to hold herself up any longer. A slow breath is pushed from her lungs as she succumbed to the darkness once more.

_I am a demon._

_Around me swirl the flames of damnation._

_Killing is second nature to breathing._

_Come dance with me in the fire of hell._

_I'll kill you too._

_Then we can be together forever._

_Their screams were like music to my ears as I moved swiftly through the headquarters of District One. I took pity on no one, cutting them down as they crossed my path. Those that ran from the flames of the building Kyohime took care of for me. In less than ten minutes I had managed to destroy what had taken some a life time to build. During the destruction I distinctly remember having a smile on my face. When I looked into the panicked eyes of my victims something inside of me quivered with utter delight. Their deaths meant the safety of my Natsuki, the elation that realization brought me was unsurpassed._

_"For your sins, you all shall die." I murmured to a man that had fallen before me. From his knees he raised his hands, begging me to spare his life. The steel of my naginata made an invisible path through his chest cavity and he crumpled to the burning debris. "Running won't save you. Through the flames of hell your debt will be repaid!" I cried out to the victims that still tried in vain to escape. The voice that came from my throat was disturbed, off balance and not my own. Retribution reigned, brought by the hand of a demon. Those caught in the path became little more than ash at my fingertips._

_Madness had split my sanity cleanly in half... I didn't care._


	2. Chapter 2

And here is chapter two… Rolling right along. I hope you enjoy this Installment as much as the first. This one will deal with more dark stuff. More than likely in this story there will be lots of depressing things. Hope you keep reading and as always thank you for the comments, they always help!

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**Not Easily Washed Away**

_Take my hand, dearest._

_I breathe love, an angel from above._

_Give rebirth to your heart through my eyes._

_Your soul I will save._

Fiberglass bit into her thighs as she squeezed her body tighter to the speeding form of the jet black Ducati. From beneath the deep maroon helmet azure locks fluttered carelessly in the wind, keeping well out of the way of the keen emerald eyes that were concentrated on the dark road ahead. Curves of the mountain road were taken with expertise, carved with the ease of a professional rider. In the far distance the ocean roared in unease, spraying the sandy coast with its unfiltered rage. Lightening dotted the horizon and thunder rolled in competition with the crash of the waves.

It seemed the brief clarity between the two fronts that had come over the region was over and darkness would soon again reign. Natsuki leaned forward on her bike, smoothing her body across the slick gas tank of her motorcycle while kicking up another gear. Her body leaned to the side, following the curve of the road as another mile passed her by. There was nothing that separated her from the destination in her mind but this road and if worse came to worse, the cliffs to her right.

Two nights. It had been two nights since she'd seen Shizuru or rather the empty shell that posed as they tawny haired Hime. She'd awoken each night in a sweat, the very same image etched into her mind.

Crimson eyes so lifeless and dull.

Crimson eyes bled crimson tears.

Memories of that dream caused her breath to hitch and fog the front of her helmet slightly. Another gear was reached and the Ducati sped up until it disappeared behind a line of dead trees.

--

Shizuru's face twitched against the cool wooden floor but she was still unconscious. How long had it been? Concepts of time held no sway in this disoriented, twisted space she'd created for herself. Be it awake or asleep dreams were non-existent. There were only black nightmares filled with the faces of the ones that had met their end at her hands. Screams echoed inside of her head, reverberated in the depths of her shattered mind sending her further into blind terror.

Crimson eyes opened widely, pupils severely dilated. A gasp came from between parched lips, searing the latest vision into the forefront of her mind.

_The aging face was of a gray haired woman that had tried to run from her amidst the destruction. All around burning fragments of the building that used to be crashed down, sending fireballs this way and that. "Please!" The crone had croaked as she lay bleeding on the ground in front of Shizuru._

_Rage filled eyes narrowed coolly and with one swipe of her naginata the woman's blood sprayed up, painting her face. She'd licked the side of her mouth to savor the latest kill and scowled at the old, rusted taste. The younger ones had tasted so much fresher. She stepped over the now dead woman to resume the slaying._

Disoriented, Shizuru pushed herself halfway from the floor, leaning heavily against her arm. A low sigh passed her lips as she rubbed her eyes which squinted from exhaustion. Her legs were wobbly as she stood, trying to support her full height. The first real sensation was the stinging in her back. A hand lifted to gingerly press the tender area and she winced when her fingers connected with the filleted flesh. This time she'd cut much deeper than before.

White flashed before her eyes but before she could hit the ground she managed to catch herself on the wall to her right. Muscles were weak, starved, dehydrated and refused to function correctly. Reduced down to her knees once more she crawled in silent agony toward the hallway and into the bathroom. At some point her kimono had been drug the rest of the way off of her battered body leaving her fully exposed. Hands fumbled over the side of the cast iron bath tub until water was flowing from the faucet.

Barely able to lift herself, she fell over the side of the tub and landed with a thud inside. The ice cold water bit into her wounds causing a cry to come from behind chapped lips. Strangled now her voice cracked and faded into less than a gurgle caught in her throat. Goose bumps broke out across her pale skin in response to the drastic change in body temperature. She shivered as the water lapped at her fading body and then something came from her that sounded most foreign.

A laugh.

It was quiet at first, more of a chuckle, but quickly grew into full fledged laughter. There was no mirth in the sound; rather it was hollow and raspy. Lightening passed through the dirty window across from her, lighting up those crimson eyes as they stared widely at the ceiling. All laughter died and she lied there silently.

_I can hear you laughing at me._

_Little voice in my head._

_You won't leave me be._

_Driving me further into my insanity._

--

Emerald eyes shone brilliantly as the lightening flickered dangerously all around. Thick biker leathers protected Natsuki's body from the fresh barrage of rain. Thankfully she'd arrived at her destination before the down pour began. Little puffs of smoke rose into the air around the engine before it was cut and she stood silently from the seat. Ahead of her rising from the darkness like an ominous beast was Shizuru's home. It was a large estate left to her by her parents before they'd taken their leave from her life. One could call it a farewell present. At least that was what Shizuru had told her once a long time ago.

The once vibrant home looked menacing. Dirty windows glowed against the darkness like the eyes of wild beasts. A shiver ran down Natsuki's body as she approached but fear would not deter her from what she needed to do. Once upon the soaked, yet covered porch she removed her helmet and ran a hand through her shimmering hair. Nerves wracked her stomach but regardless she knocked hard on the rough, wooden door. Behind her thunder sounded across the tops of the dead trees, shaking the foundation on which she stood. After a moment of nothing she brought her hand down again against the door, this time a bit harder.

In the depths of the home the sound reverberated but the master heard only thunder. Shizuru lied floating in that tub, her eyes still as wide as before. She wore a slight grin that seemed to tug the corners of her mouth and there was a twitch at the side of her left temple. Outside the wind began to howl, picking up the harsh rain and tossing it across the already drowning land. Natsuki flipped the collar of her leather jacket up and pounded against the door again. "Shizuru!" She called out as well, hoping that would help her seemingly futile attempt.

From the bathroom Shizuru blinked and with a wince sat up, the water cascaded from her hair between her breasts and rolled down her stomach. Her head tilted sideways and ears strained to hear beyond the monstrous thunder. An agitated laugh passed her lips as she lied back down, submerging herself completely this time. The demons had finally come for her. They were going to drag her soul to hell as penance. It seemed fitting she thought as her chest constricted from lack of air.

Natsuki sighed as she tried the door handle. Locked. A slow growl passed her lips; she was beginning to get fed up with this. The window to the right was tugged, then the left, another and another as she made her way down the small line of dying bushes. Her boots sunk into the mud, causing squishing sounds with each step she took. Rain pelted her from above, matting her hair to her face but she just brushed it out of her eyes and continued. Finally she came to a side window and as she examined it luck seemed to be on her side for once. There was a long vertical crack through the glass, it looked promising. She pulled hard, grunting until something popped and the window creaked open noisily. A sigh of relief passed her and she hoisted herself up and inside the house with ease, making sure to close the window behind her. Her boots thudded lightly against the floor, splattering mud across the dusty wood planks.

"Shizuru?" She called out immediately as her eyes scanned the encroaching darkness. A few candles flickered down a narrow corridor offering only a small amount of light. She followed that little bit of light until she came to an empty room that housed what looked to be a shrine. Brows furrowed when she stepped forward onto something soft. She looked down and picked up a kimono. "What the..." She murmured as her eyes settled on a trail of dried red substance that led into another room down the hallway.

Natsuki's gut constricted as she stared at the door in front of her. Light shown from the cracks, but only barely. Worry flooded her body. What was behind this door and why did it cause her to feel so very anxious. With a firm hand she slammed open the door blocking her path and her eyes immediately widened. Shizuru was slumped across the floor on her side, wet hair matted around her face. Natsuki's heart thudded wildly against her chest as she swooped into the bathroom and gathered the woman up into her arms. She fell back when the tawny haired beauty let loose with a howl of pain and shoved her away. Shizuru tried to claw away from the other person but her body was too weak, she ended up collapsing again.

Natsuki's eyes were as wide as quarters and for a long moment she found herself glued to the spot which she'd been shoved. Her senses suddenly slammed her back into action and she hurried over, wrapping the kimono she'd found in the hallway around Shizuru. "Please, stop Shizuru! It's me, it's Natsuki!" She cried out, trying to stop the other girl from flailing. The tawny haired Hime fought hard against the strong arms encircling her. She'd pulled herself from the tub moments before as fear over took her body. In her mind she had seen_ them_ coming for her and it frightened her. As much as she believed she deserved her fate... She'd wanted to run in the end.

The fight was over quickly though, Shizuru's battered body couldn't handle the stress and with a final gasp she'd succumbed to unconsciousness once more. With the struggle at an end Natsuki sat dumbfounded with her friend lying lifeless in her arms. Quickly she checked vital signs to ensure the girl was indeed still alive before trying to move her. Using all of the strength she had, the dark haired Hime scooped Shizuru from the floor and carried her down the hallway, searching for a bedroom.

Soft linens gave way slightly when Shizuru's weight was pressed into them. The room smelled of lilac and looked as if it hadn't been used in quite some time. Pristine cherry furniture filled the area and in the center was a four post bed covered in dark purple bedding. Natsuki had gone through three previous rooms to find this one. She quickly laid Shizuru down onto her back with a soft grunt and to her surprise the comatose girl let out a whimper of pain. Emerald eyes narrowed in slight confusion that was until she gently rolled her friend on to her side. The wounds that marred Shizuru's back were too many to count. Flesh looked more like processed meat that had been tenderized. Zig zag gashes tore through the once creamy skin, leaving it raw and exposed.

A gasp came from Natsuki and her eyes immediately filled with tears. "Shizuru..." She whispered before darting back to the bathroom in search of medical supplies. She came back with some bandages, ointment, two thick sewing needles and thread. Thankfully her friend was out enough to endure what was about to happen. Carefully she removed the kimono from Shizuru's body and cast it aside, beginning the slow process of stitching the deeper wounds. Each touch to the area elicited a groan of pain from the unconscious girl and caused Natsuki to wince with sympathy. What had happened? Her mind raced with questions and her body shook with anger at the prospects as to what had been going on in this house.

--

_Flames licked at her belly as she fought with all her might to bring down the heavy steel door in front of her. Cries were muffled by smoke inhalation that choked her lungs and forced strangled coughs from between burnt lips. Her hair singed at the tips from the heat pressing down from all directions and her skin cracked and sizzled. The blood didn't drip; it simply bubbled and boiled when it hit the surface. Agony wracked her small frame as she turned and slid down the molten door, her back burning from the motion. Crimson eyes widened at the countless waves of undead that lumbered toward her._

_Their moans echoed in her ears, even her hands pressed firmly over them couldn't drown out the horrid sound. She recognized the faces despite there being so many. Each one had been a person she herself had slain. Their eyes stared at her with pent up rage, they all wanted their revenge against the Hime that had sent them to their graves. Her burning throat parted and she screamed, but it was futile as the dead began to consume her burning corpse._

Shizuru jerked upward with a blood curdling scream, her heavy breathing was threatening to cause hyperventilation. Air was being pulled and pushed so rapidly from her lungs they burned and her eyes bugged from her skull. Pain thumped through her entire form and she fought with the covers that surrounded her until she was almost at the edge of the bed. Cool hands suddenly wrapped around her shoulders and eased her still struggling form back onto the soft sheets. "Let me go!" She cried out, her voice strangled in her throat as hands blindly swung at whatever had hold of her.

"Shizuru!" A sharp voice rang through her ears and she stilled. Those rabid eyes widened in shock as she registered the emerald ones staring back at her. She couldn't speak but her body succumbed naturally to the girl pressing her into the sheets. Natsuki ended their staring contest and began checking the bandages that covered Shizuru's back, making sure the girl hadn't reopened the wounds she'd spent so much time stitching the night before. "You can't jerk about like that. I had to stitch your wounds and I don't want you reopening them." Natsuki's voice was harsh but she hadn't meant to sound so cold.

Another attempt rendered a softer voice... "Please, be still." She said while a hand ran down Shizuru's cheek, stroking it tenderly. Shizuru wanted to cry at the pang of relief she felt swell suddenly through her sore body but it was stifled and she immediately tensed to the hand on her face. Natsuki noticed and quickly took her hand away. "Shizuru, what happened to you, who did this?" The cold edge had crept back into her voice. Truth be told she was seething internally, her blood boiled with unfettered rage.

Shizuru's crimson eyes cast to the bed and a low chuckle passed her lips. Natsuki's eyes widened slightly, caught off guard. "Does Natsuki want to kill whoever did this to me?" She asked in a cool manner, each syllable rolled off of her tongue one by one causing her to sound intoxicated. Natsuki's eyes went from shocked to narrow and she gave a grave nod of her head which only caused another disturbing laugh from Shizuru. "Then Natsuki must kill me." She said in a low, almost deadly even tone.

Natsuki sat back on the edge of the bed, her back rigid at the confession. Was Shizuru serious? Nausea swept over her and she grimaced at the taste of bile rising in the back of her throat. Shizuru tilted her head, eying Natsuki with those cold eyes. "You'd be doing me a favor." The comment from her friend caused Natsuki to gasp and tears formed at the corners of her eyes but she refused to let them fall.

"You mean to tell me you did all of this... To yourself?" The dark haired Hime asked, her voice quavering slightly. Shizuru nodded once to confirm the truth and Natsuki growled under her breath. "Why!?" She cried out, gripping the other girl's shoulders. Shizuru yelped from the pain surging through her but Natsuki did not let go. Anger scorched her insides, flaming up behind those emerald eyes which now shown brightly. "Why would you do something so stupid?" She yelled again, nails digging into the sides of Shizuru's bare arms. Only when she saw the faintest hint of blood pool to the surface did her eyes widen and her grip release. "Shizuru.. I'm sorry.." Natsuki said hastily, pulling back, her hands shaking.

The brunette smiled meekly and rolled her head to the side, facing away from Natsuki. "You shouldn't have come." She said her voice barely an audible whisper. Natsuki managed to get control over the anger that bubbled inside of her. Yelling at the other girl wouldn't do a damn bit of good and some where inside she knew that. Was this what she had been doing the entire time she'd kept herself locked away from the world? There was no way... Shizuru wasn't that ridiculous. Still, what would make her lie and worse yet how else would she have gotten such horrible wounds? Shizuru lived alone, rarely had visitors and as of late hadn't allowed anyone into her life. She was withdrawn, quiet, distant but suicidal? The image didn't seem to suit the girl lying on the bed.

Her hand came to rest atop one of Shizuru's and she stroked the palm tenderly. Inside the heart that had been beating so rapidly moments before lurched at the pain so cleanly etched across her friend's face. The normal calm and collected gaze was remorseful and bitter, a sight the dark haired Hime wasn't accustomed to seeing. "Please, talk to me." Natsuki pleaded quietly. Brows creased as her hand lifted from Shizuru's and moved up to stroke her pale cheek. To her surprise Shizuru leaned into the touch, so she let her fingers linger momentarily. "You know I'm here for you."

Those chosen words bounced around inside of the brunette's head for a long moment before she decided to match emerald eyes with her own. Cold disdain showed in crimson as they burned silently. "Why?" She asked bitterly, her voice callous which caused Natsuki to recoil slightly on the bed.

"What do you mean why, Shizuru? You're my friend." the blue haired Hime said softly, her eyes reflected confusion back at the red pools staring her down. Shizuru snorted softly and turned her head, breaking eye contact. Natsuki was taken aback and her mouth gaped slightly. She'd never known the girl to be like this before. The only time she'd seen such disregard and utterly cold nature was - emerald eyes narrowed slightly. Her mind blanked back to the Hime Festival and how this very same version of Shizuru had made its presence known.

"Leave." Shizuru's hard voice filled the silent room causing Natsuki to snap back into the present. "Now." Bitterness was laced within those words but the blue haired girl didn't budge from the edge of the bed.

"I'm not leaving you like this." Natsuki said through clenched teeth, shaking her head slightly. On the bed Shizuru suddenly sat up and began shoving the other girl roughly about the chest.

"Get out!" She cried, her hands coming down against Natsuki's leather clad chest. Her hands were bound quickly to her sides and she was reduced to struggling against the heavier body atop hers.

"I said I'm not leaving!" Natsuki yelled back, trying in vain to still the girl underneath her. As she held onto her friend's wrists she noted how easily her hands fit around them and the bones were so evident she could feel them scrap against her palms. Her eyes chanced a glance where the covers were beginning to fall away from Shizuru's still naked body and her breath hitched at what she saw. How could she have missed that before? She questioned herself as Shizuru slowly began to ease her struggling.

Natsuki switched her hold and grasped both wrists between one hand and ripped the covers away, causing the brunette to gasp. Upon realizing her own nakedness she tried grabbing for the violet sheets but Natsuki had them bunched under her knees now. "Stop!" Shizuru shrieked but it was too late, emerald eyes wandered over her deteriorating form. Natsuki's friend had withered away to the point her bones looked as if they would puncture through the pale flesh stretched over them at any second. The sight made her stomach turn and she quickly covered Shizuru back up with the sheet.

Natsuki tried to speak but the salvia in her mouth had dried up making it incredibly difficult. Her eyes closed for a moment and she attempted to compose herself but all she could see in the forefront of her mind was the image of her friend's body.

"I want you out of here." Shizuru deadpanned, her eyes hazing over in darkness. Emerald eyes shimmered with concern as Natsuki shook her head slowly from side to side. There was no way in hell she was going to leave Shizuru in such a state

"I said before, I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to stay right here with you Shizuru." Natsuki couldn't conceal the concern in her voice, though she hadn't tried that hard. Despite the angered expression directed toward her she'd made up her mind and there would be no swaying her. Slowly she rose from the other girl, releasing her hands. "I'll be right back, don't move. You've reopened some of your wounds thanks to your senseless struggling."

Nervous to leave the girl alone for any length of time she hurried to gather a cloth and a small basin of warm water from the bathroom. Upon returning she was surprised to see Shizuru actually remained put. "Turn over." She said without emotion, setting the basin down on the night stand beside the bed. Shizuru hesitated which caused the blue haired Hime to growl lightly under her breath. She could see the blood beginning to stain the sheets under Shizuru and knew she needed to have those wounds tended to. There would be much more fuss at the hospital should some sort of infection occur. "Look turn over or I will turn you over myself." She challenged, her eyes never wavering from the crimson ones locked on hers.

Shizuru laid there on her back defiantly, a sneer etched onto her features. She wanted Natsuki gone, wanted her to turn around and walk out of that door and forget what she'd seen. Her eyes went wide when she was roughly rolled onto her side and before being able to fight back, fully rolled onto her stomach with Natsuki planted firmly on her thighs. "Don't move." Natsuki said harshly as she began removing the soiled bandages and tossing them into the bin at the bedside.

The only time Shizuru made a sound was when Natsuki had to clean the wounds. The hot water stung the freshly stitched areas, causing her to wince and suck in sharp breaths. "Shh,..." Natsuki tried to soothe her with that soft voice but it was the last thing Shizuru wanted.

"Leave." Shizuru murmured in a whisper from under Natsuki but the blue haired Hime simply continued re-bandaging her back in silence. "Why can't you just do as I ask?" Shizuru's voice seemed a bit strained this time around causing Natsuki to sigh.

"You didn't leave me." The dark haired girl replied as she climbed off of Shizuru and put the remainder of the supplies away. Her eyes had darkened some as she remembered the night she had wanted to die... Shizuru had saved her and brought her to the safety of one of her tea student's houses. She'd taken care of Natsuki until she was able to fend for herself once again. Because of that did she feel obliged to do this now that it was Shizuru in trouble?

Shizuru bit into her bottom lip to keep from speaking the words that wanted so badly to spill from her mouth. She wanted to curse Natsuki. "So you feel guilty then, is that it?" She asked, venom once again penetrating her words. The anger coursing through the brunette's body was more directed at herself rather than the blue haired girl. Memories of that night flooded her mind causing her to wince internally at the physical weakness she'd displayed with her unconscious friend. So detestable. Natsuki's eyes widened slightly and she looked down to Shizuru who was on her side again, looking up at her.

"Guilty? No I don't feel guilty!" Natsuki growled back, trying to control the anger she suddenly felt rising inside of her stomach. How could Shizuru be so cold? Better yet, why was it getting to her so easily? Her jaw clenched which Shizuru easily noticed and had the audacity to grin about. Emerald eyes tore away from crimson and focused on the floor below as she quickly situated herself on the edge of the bed. Who was this person?

Natsuki wasn't sure she knew any more. When she looked up at her friend again she noticed crimson eyes were closed and the girl's breathing had evened out. A sigh passed her lips and she ran a hand through her hair. It would seem Shizuru had worn herself out, though it was a surprise she had any energy at all considering her malnourished state.

She lingered on the bed a while longer to ensure Shizuru was indeed sleeping then took to the hallway to investigate the house further. It seemed neglected, left untouched for some time. Dust littered the tops of tables and cobwebs gathered in the corners. Emerald eyes surveyed the dim, empty rooms and she sighed. Natsuki wasn't the best housekeeper in the world but even her apartment didn't look this bad! She couldn't imagine the ever crisp, clean, and well presented Shizuru could allow her home to reach such a state of disarray. Then again she couldn't believe much of what she'd learned in the past few hours. Her head began to throb and she ran a hand around to the back of her neck, stopping to massage briefly the overly tense muscles.

What was she going to do? She wasn't sure. Should she take Shizuru to the hospital where she could be cared for properly? A sigh passed her lips as she leaned heavily against the hallway wall. Somewhere inside Natsuki knew Shizuru would see taking her to the hospital as some sort of betrayal. Her jaw clenched unintentionally and she focused her eyes on the darkness inside the living room ahead. There was only one thing she was absolutely sure of. Shizuru needed someone, regardless she didn't want to admit it and Natsuki wouldn't leave her. Something inside tugged at her and she closed her eyes. What was this feeling?

_Her heart ached._


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three! More revealing and more heartache for all you shiznat fans out there… Hey someone has to bring out the dark sides of things Damnit! Anyway, enjoy and leave a comment if you wanna ;) Thanks to those who have, they're always nice to read. I hope I can continue to keep your interest.

---

**Not Easily Washed Away**

Dark circles had formed under her eyes yet she remained ever vigilant as her friend slept. Unwavering was her attention. Each whimper from the tawny haired girl yielded a concerned gaze from the one that silently watched over her. Despite lack of sleep, she persevered. In her short life, Natsuki had endured worse. It had been a full twenty four hours since Shizuru had last opened her crimson eyes. During that time the dark haired Hime hadn't left her side, just as promised. She sat uncomfortably on the edge of the bed, worried emerald eyes roaming the still form of her friend.

The hours of silence were something Natsuki was not accustomed to. Normally silence was reserved only for the few hours she slept a night. Her hectic life full of battles, unease, and constant struggle to piece together her shattered past left little room for such trivial things. So now that silence pressed down on her like a weight from above she had to fill it with the only thing she had available. Her thoughts. That in its self gave her head reason to throb. Thinking was just one more thing she wasn't accustomed to but here she was trying to make sense of the things that ran rampant through her mind. It was dizzying.

Unfortunately the only thing circling her mind was the girl lying on the bed. A sigh passed her lips as she tenderly caressed her friend's cheek, allowing her fingers to linger on the warm flesh a little longer than she probably should have. What did it matter though? It didn't seem she would be caught enjoying this secret little pleasure. As much as that thought hurt her, Natsuki enjoyed being able to touch upon the tawny haired girl's soft skin as she pleased. That was a private enjoyment reserved only for her.

She doubted Shizuru knew just how much she'd longed to touch her for quite some time now. Up until now the blue haired Hime hadn't dared to be so bold. Mainly due to her own questions concerning the validity of her feelings toward her friend and then there was the small fact that Shizuru had blocked her out of her life completely. Thoughts swayed from present to past when she'd first began "hanging out" with the brunette. From the first day she'd been troublesome! She was always with the constant teasing and never ending barrage of suggestive comments. Not to mention the inappropriate touching and groping that never failed to light up Natsuki's cheeks. When she'd found out it was more than innocent gestures was when everything changed.

Natsuki had known about the feelings Shizuru harbored for her, regardless of hearing it from the brunette for the first time the night with Haruka and Yukino. Prior to that night the blue haired Hime had spent many sleepless nights in her bed, tossing and turning in a wretched sweat trying to figure out how to approach the situation. She'd contemplated just sitting Shizuru down and speaking to her openly about the entire situation but… Well, she had never been great at confrontations such as that. Then there was the idea of just blurting out her own feelings about all of the teasing gestures and suggestive remarks but her cheeks flushed immediately. She knew without a doubt the brunette would hound her mercilessly with even more advances. She wasn't sure she was ready for that. So rather than be the bigger person and just come out with it, silence was the way of handling it.

What a great job that had done. How much destruction could have been avoided just by her saying "Hey Shizuru… I need to talk to you."?

Natsuki ran a hand through her hair, warily rubbing her scalp. If only she hadn't been such an idiot about the entire thing her friend wouldn't have shut everything out. She wouldn't be in the condition she was in. Guilt tugged at her heart and she remembered what Shizuru had asked before she'd last passed out… Defensively she sighed and shook her head. That wasn't why she was here, Damnit! Emerald eyes fell upon the brunette once more.

Shizuru looked so utterly helpless in that state. Even in sleep it seemed any sort of mental peace eluded her. The once beautifully flawless flesh was pale and tight against the visible bones underneath. Her face constantly contorted in what Natsuki could only guess was silent anguish. Whenever the tawny haired Hime would dream, Natsuki would see her brows crease and hear her whimper. Some times she would even cry out and thrash about. Those were the times when she would actually have to hold Shizuru down against the bed and try to soothe her with softly whispered words.

When the struggle would end her friend wouldn't wake, instead she would drift wordlessly back into her comatose state. It was needless to say quite nerve racking. With a gentle touch upon Shizuru's exposed right hand Natsuki sighed into the silent room. What had happened inside of her friend to cause this much distress? More importantly why hadn't Shizuru felt she could come to her for help?

_'Because you idiot, you were never there for her. After all you ended up killing her in the end, didn't you? During the entire festival and how long even before then had you used her? Then when you found out she was a Hime you shunned her further. Now you have the gall to ask yourself such a dumb question!"_

Natsuki's eyes widened slightly as the voice inside of her head chose to assert it's self. A lump formed in her throat and she sat back, removing her hand from that of her friend's. It was true after all. In the time that followed meeting Shizuru she'd used her to gain information she needed about those she was after. She had gained the other girl's trust and used it against her, taking what she needed and not bothering to wonder about Shizuru's feelings until the very end. Why did she suddenly feel like a monster?

Emerald eyes hazed over and she focused on the floor. Time and time again, unknown even to Natsuki, Shizuru had watched over her from the shadows. The brunette had placed her own life in jeopardy to ensure her friend was safe from harm. As Natsuki sat on that bed she wondered silently to herself just how many of the times she'd made it home alive had actually been thanks to the Hime she'd never truly known existed right beside her? Countless times she'd been so close to death only to find a way out at the last conceivable second. Now she questioned whether it was because of her fighting prowess or really because she had a guardian watching over her.

Natsuki's heart constricted so painfully within her chest that it took her breath away. She gasped and held a hand above it, her brows furrowing deeply. As she hunched over the bed her eyes focused on Shizuru's sleeping face and she grimaced. How could that girl have ever considered her a friend? Let alone...

The pain tightened in her chest and she whimpered, two tears sliding neatly down her cheeks. She fell forward gently, her head coming to rest on Shizuru's covered stomach. There she sobbed silently to herself, her fists clenching the sheets that surrounded her friend. "How could you love me?" She whispered quietly between her sobs. "How could you love someone so cold?"

Her sobs slowed after a moment as she tried to gain ground against her raging emotions. Why now were her walls crumbling? She'd spent so much of her life constructing the impenetrable fortress around her heart, now it began to crack and give way as she soaked in the desperate image of Shizuru lying before her. Of course...

"You've always loved me, haven't you?" Natsuki asked while she sat up, wiping her eyes. There was no response from the other girl, though she hadn't really expected one. "I knew that and yet… How could I have not seen the suffering behind those beautiful eyes?" Her hand lifted and gently brushed away the bangs scattered across Shizuru's face. The flesh was feverish. Worry instantly flooded Natsuki's stomach and she stood to leave quickly. A cool rag was dabbed against Shizuru's forehead, then down her cheeks and across her throat. She'd filled the basin previously used with cold water and began to wipe down her friend's body. The sheets were pulled back to reveal the brunette's still very naked body... Natsuki swallowed as she drug the rag along the pale flesh, trying to cool it.

"Shizuru..." The name rolled off her lips so perfectly full of concern. Her emerald eyes watered at the condition of her friend. Shizuru's breathing had become ragged, thin, labored. Her chest struggled just to pull air into her lungs. Natsuki's jaw set and she stood, producing her cell phone. There was no other choice. She had to call the hospital.

--

Sirens rang through the encroaching night, red and white lights fought back the darkness and inside EMT technicians fought like hell to revive a girl that had stopped breathing. Natsuki sat frozen in the back watching as the two men worked quickly around Shizuru. Her heart was in her throat and her hands had hold of the edge of the gurney so tightly her knuckles had turned white. A mask was placed upon Shizuru's face and a bag pumped air into her failed lungs. One sandy haired EMT rubbed her chest feverishly and then pumped against it, yelling out commands to the other man.

Nothing seemed to be working and the two men had become desperate in their efforts. Finally the sandy haired man grabbed a portable machine from behind him and opened up the bulky plastic container quickly. There was a jolt of electricity from two panels placed on Shizuru's chest, then another causing her body to convulse. Natsuki watched in horror as her friend's body fell limp against the sheets time and time again. The sandy haired man looked at her, his eyes betraying his thoughts.

He glanced back to the girl lying on the gurney. "CLEAR!" he yelled loudly and shocked her once more. To his surprise the gates of hell opened up and spit the brunette back out. She sucked air forcefully into her lungs but those crimson eyes did not open.

"We got her back!" He called to the driver who sped dangerously along the cliff side. He radioed the hospital while the two men in the back continued to move fluid bags, IV's and other tubing around Shizuru. The dark haired Hime sat in silence, doing her best not to break down. Normally she wouldn't have even been allowed in that ambulance but the men hadn't been able to argue with her.

"_Please no, Shizuru!" Natsuki screamed while shaking the older girl's shoulders roughly. After the ambulance had been dispatched the blue haired girl had remained on the phone with the 911 operator. However during that time Shizuru's breathing had stalled, started and then failed once again. While frantically trying to remember the steps to resuscitate her dying friend the phone had been dropped and the call disconnected._

"_You can't do this to me!" The blue haired Hime yelled desperately, trying in vain again to pass air through Shizuru's bluish lips. As their lips touched Natsuki shivered, her shoulders trembling. Tears dropped from her eyes onto her friend's cheek and rolled down into her hair. The world seemed to spin around Natsuki as she pounded against Shizuru's chest. "Wake up!" She cried just as white and red lights flashed through the windows. _

"_Hello! Open the door!" A man had called from the front door as he pounded against the thick wood. Natsuki's body wouldn't move from her friend's side, she had to fight to tear herself away and allow the EMT's into the house. They'd surrounded Shizuru and placed her on a gurney, quickly wheeling her out toward the ambulance with Natsuki following closely at their side. They'd tried to stop her but she got into the back anyway… No one was going to keep her away from Shizuru._

When the heart rate on the machine situated beside Shizuru began to beep faintly Natsuki felt tears sting her eyes. She had just watched her friend die and come back to life right before her own eyes for the second time in their short lives. Inside her chest her heart skipped a beat and she let her head fall along with the flood of tears she'd been fighting back. How many times had she failed Shizuru? This was one more...

Once at the hospital Natsuki had been halted. "Please listen to me; we need to take her to ICU immediately. There is a strong possibility she's not going to make it if delayed any longer, do you understand me?" The female doctor held up her hands to stop Natsuki from charging down the hallway and following the stretcher carrying her friend.

"Now stay in the waiting room!" She shouted as she turned and bolted through the double doors Shizuru had just been wheeled through. What could she do? Natsuki had no choice. She walked silently to the waiting room and took a seat in one of the farthest corners. Her legs were pulled up into the chair and lithe arms wrapped around them as her head came to rest atop her knees.

The emotional stress along with lack of sleep and nourishment had taken its toll. Natsuki's eyes battled to remain open but soon she found herself drifting off, unable to fight any longer. In her dreams she saw only Shizuru's beautiful face and the content smile she used to wear. That small shred of peaceful memory gave her at least half an hours rest.

"Ms. Kuga?" A petite voice called from the open door of the waiting room. After no answer a small framed red-headed nurse strode into the cold, nearly empty room and began looking around. "Natsuki Kuga?" She called out once again.

From somewhere inside of her dreams Natsuki heard someone call to her and her emerald eyes popped open. "Yes?" She answered gruffly as she lifted her head and stood, rubbing her eyes. The nurse smiled meekly as she approached.

"You were the one who came in with Ms. Shizuru Fujino, correct?" She asked and immediately Natsuki woke up and nodded her head. "Ah, alright I need you to fill these out the best you can please." A clipboard was handed over along with a pen, afterward the nurse turned to leave.

Natsuki furrowed her brows as she looked over the paperwork and then called out. "Hey, wait! What about Shizuru, is she alright?" Her voice betrayed her by conveying the depths of her concern.

The nurse merely shook her head. "I'm not sure ma'am; the doctors are still with her at this time. As soon as the situation is stable one of them will come and speak with you, I am sure." For a moment she held Natsuki's stare as if to say she was sorry she couldn't offer more information but then she turned and left the blue haired Hime alone once again.

Natsuki rubbed her temples and sat down to survey the paperwork that had been given to her. It was information regarding Shizuru. She scribbled down the girl's name in the appropriate spaces, birth date, age, hair color, eye color, height, weight... Well she just guessed at the height and weight but she couldn't have been that far off she thought. However when she got further down she hit a brick wall so to speak.

"Allergies?" She asked herself as she tapped the pen against the clipboard. That space was left blank as were the next four blanks that asked for medical history, medication history, family illness history and finally relative contact information. A sigh passed those pouting lips as she realized she had no idea about the important things regarding her friend. Hell she didn't even know how to contact the girl's parents! Come to think of it she wasn't even sure she knew anything about Shizuru's parents, period. The brunette had never mentioned them and Natsuki never cared enough to ask. Now she wished she'd asked a lot of things. Would she even have the chance to ask questions after tonight?

--

Two agonizing hours passed with various doctors, surgeons and other medical staff surrounding Shizuru's seemingly lifeless body. Machines chirped and beeped her status, relaying the information to the staff that so feverishly worked above her. She was unaware of what was happening, she'd not woken once. Regardless the doctor had ordered a nurse to go ahead with the use of anesthesia before they began suturing the wounds across her back. As Shizuru lie on the cold operating table memories of her past flooded her absent mind rather than dreams. If given the choice, she would have rather had to deal with the horrible nightmares…

_"I have had enough of this! She's only a child for Christ sake, Hanako!" Blood red eyes were on fire as the man ripped the small child away from the enraged woman that stood before him. He laid the girl against his chest and rocked her until the tears that had been rolling down her cheeks ceased. All the while he had whispered sweet nothings into her ear in an effort to soothe her._

_The woman snickered and turned away from him, crossing her arms tightly over her chest. "You're going to spoil her. She has to learn not to cry over every small thing, Yuudai!" Her long chestnut colored hair was flipped over her shoulder as she left father and daughter together in the dining room. Across the large oak table were the remains of a shattered drinking glass and milk dripped quietly against the carpeted floor below._

_"I'm sorry papa..." The small child said quietly against her father's chest. He smiled down to her with a reassuring glimmer in his eyes and kissed her nose tenderly._

_"It was just an accident, Shizu-chan." He replied and patted her head tenderly. A smile briefly appeared across the child's lips before she laid her head back on his chest. He continued to rock her in his arms until she'd drifted off and was carried upstairs to be put into her bed. Once the door to his daughter's room was closed he was immediately confronted by his wife once again. "Hanako, I don't want to argue tonight." He stated calmly as they both entered into their bedroom._

_Hanako smirked while she watched her husband loosen his tie and remove his suit jacket. His broad shoulders shrugged the fabric off and he tossed it across the bed. A handsome face betrayed his true age, he looked much older but the stress of his home life had taken quite the toll over the years. As he sat on the edge of the bed and removed his shoes he sighed quietly. He loved his wife but it seemed ever since their daughter had been born she'd slowly become more and more disturbed. If she wasn't taking her anger out on him it was directed toward Shizu-chan and that was something he could not stand._

_"You baby her, you know." Hanako said through clenched teeth as she approached her husband, hands on her hips. "She's going to grow up unfit to bear the Fujino name and why? Because you spoiled her." She clenched her jaw audibly._

_Yuudai's brows creased deeply and he rubbed his temples. "It's not right to yell for every small thing, Hanako. She's a mere child, not even six years old. You treat her more like one of your servants than your own daughter." His voice had a cold edge to it as those crimson eyes now stared up to his wife. "I've seen you hit her too. Don't think I haven't noticed the bruises on her legs and back. How could you, Hanako?" He stood, his rage growing with each ragged breath._

_Hanako growled and landed a solid slap across her husbands face. "Fool! A child needs to learn the ways of the world early on. It would do her no good to be doted upon and never disciplined. Do you want her to turn out weak like you?" She laughed as her husband turned and walked out of the room. "Just like you... Walk away." The door slammed behind Yuudai and he hastily walked down the stairs toward his study. _

_Inside he leaned heavily against the cherry wood desk, his chest pushing out a ragged breath. For ten years he had been married to Hanako. It had been an arranged married but in the beginning he swore they'd loved one another. Now he wanted nothing more than to be rid of her. His short nails dug into the top of the desk leaving deep impressions._

Shizuru's body had been relocated to a private room once she had stabilized. The doctors had placed a tube down her throat to assist breathing and IV's were placed into the veins in both arms to replenish lost fluids. Nurses buzzed around her until each piece of machinery to monitor her status was set up and properly functioning, displaying information for each nurse to check.

One by one as they finished their duties they began to file out of the room, only one of them didn't follow the others back to the nurse's station. It was the petite red-head from before. She entered into the waiting room to find the blue haired girl sitting not so patiently in the furthest corner. She looked puzzled and was chewing the end of the pen she'd been given.

"Ms. Kuga?" The nurse said softly causing Natsuki to immediately stand and rush over to her. The concern in those emerald eyes caused the nurses heart to flutter but she cleared her throat and smiled softly. "Your friend has been stabilized. The doctors have put her in a private room upstairs."

Natsuki eagerly handed the clipboard over to the nurse. "What room?" She asked roughly and wasted no time heading upstairs once the information had been relayed to her. As she walked she shuddered slightly. She'd always hated hospitals. The stark white walls, the tiled floor, the smell of death and medicine... It never sat well with her. As she stood in front of the door labeled 516 she swallowed the lump in her throat and pushed it open.

Immediately her eyes widened and a hand came up to cover her mouth. "Shizuru..." She said faintly. A step forward was slowly taken and then another until she's at the foot of her friend's bed. The tubes, lines, machines, it was almost too much to bear. Steeling herself Natsuki took a seat in a small wooden chair beside the bed and reached up, taking hold of one of Shizuru's hands. She was very careful to avoid the IV line that had been placed there.

Natsuki wanted to cry.

Tears burned her eyes but they remained unshed and her head snapped up at the sound of the door opening. A doctor poked his head inside and offered a small smile to Natsuki who was standing and making her way over to him.

"Hello there, my name is Doctor Shinobu." He put out his hand which the blue haired girl shook roughly. "I was told you were the one who called the ambulance. It's a good thing you did, she almost didn't make it."

The absolute honesty of those words knocked the wind out of Natsuki and she swallowed hard. "If you don't mind I have some questions I would like to ask, would you care to take a walk with me?" He turned and held the door open for her. She gave a nod and followed him into the hallway, her hands shoved deeply into her pockets.

For a long moment neither one of them spoke but the doctor eventually cleared his throat and began. "So your friend was pretty bad off. Do you have any idea what happened to her?" He raised his brow but Natsuki simply shook her head. "I see." He replied as he rubbed his chin. "The marks on her back..."

Natsuki cut him off before he could even ask. "She actually got those wounds from a motorcycle accident a while back. The other condition... Her malnutrition, that's news to me as well." She licked her suddenly dry lips and avoided eye contact with the doctor who was giving her a rather skeptical look. She couldn't just out right say to him that Shizuru had inflicted those types of wounds to herself, it would make her sound crazy. That inner voice of Natsuki's snickered but she ignored it.

"Motorcycle huh?" He asked, his tone clearly relaying his lack of belief. "She rides?"

The dark haired girl shook her head. "No, I do. It was raining and I was driving her home after school. We hydroplaned into a guard rail." The ease in which she could fabricate a lie often scared her at times. The worst part was she often didn't care she lied so well. Lies came in handy all of the time she'd found out.

"Ah, that explains why she had previous stitches." The doctor rubbed his chin once more as if he were piecing together parts of a puzzle inside his mind. Natsuki clenched her jaw hoping her story would suffice for now; she didn't feel like explaining further. She wanted to get back to Shizuru's side, having her wake up alone wouldn't do.

"Look, can I go back to her now? I don't want her to wake up by herself in an unfamiliar place..." Natsuki asked, irritated. The doctor took note of her attitude change and hesitated before giving a nod. She turned to leave but before she got far he called out to her again.

"Ms. Kuga, she's more than likely going to be here for a while. Do you plan to stay with her?" His thin eyebrows creased.

Her pink tongue traced her lips yet again and she nodded. He nodded as well and gave a small smile as if he understood her situation. "I see, I will have a nurse bring a cot into the room for you." He bowed his head slightly and turned. Natsuki stared at his back for a moment before turning as well and rushing toward Shizuru's room. She hoped her friend hadn't woken just yet.

Quietly the door was pushed open and with the stealth of a ninja, Natsuki entered the room and took back up her guard in the wooden chair. From the looks of her friend she hadn't stirred. Emerald eyes gazed across the bed, the machines and then back to her friend who looked strained even in sleep. A sigh passed her lips as she turned her attention to the window behind her and studied the full moon high above. It was clearer outside than it had been before. The storm seemed to break, even if only for a while, it was nice not to hear the ominous thunder.

--

_"Please don't do that..."_

_The first thing I noticed was the sultry Kyoto accent that laced with your words. When I turned there had been a scowl on my face, I was sure of that... But I saw those shimmering crimson eyes staring at me accompanied by such a lovely smile and couldn't help looking shocked. I knew who you were immediately. Shizuru Fujino, the object of so many students' affections._

_"Flowers are beautiful, because they bloom with all their might in their short lives"_

_You had said to me while brushing the hair from your eyes, still smiling as vibrantly as ever. I remembered thinking to myself 'What an annoyingly beautiful girl' and then I blushed furiously. After that short encounter I stormed off and returned to my apartment mumbling on and on about why someone like you would bother to give me the time of day when so many followed waiting to fulfill any wish you had. I know I never told you but I knew of the feelings you had for me…_

_Thinking back, it was pretty funny someone as thick headed as I could have figured something like that out on my own. There were plenty of times when I wanted to talk to about all of it but I could never figure out a proper way to bring it up. That sounds stupid now that I think about it. You were always there, weren't you? I could have come to you at any time but my own fear kept me from doing what I should have._

_Then it happened that night, with Yukino and Haruka…_

_With everything I had I wanted to believe you hadn't kissed me, that you hadn't violated our friendship and that Yukino was wrong. Your face that day wasn't like when we first met. Those once inviting crimson eyes were dull and dead. I can recall the exact moment in which your sanity finally snapped because I saw it so very clearly. When I pulled away from your touch it was out of frustration coupled with fear. Before that day I had thought about you as more than a friend quite a few times... I was a coward back then and kept myself believing I had a mission. Loving someone would only get in the way. How wrong I had been..._

_It was all because I didn't trust my own feelings toward you. I had used you so many times.._

_I only ended up hurting you, didn't I? How many times did I hurt you without ever knowing? How many more times would you have let me...? In the end I ended up killing us both. It was then I realized how much you meant to me, truly. My heart ached as I said those words to Duran but I never regretted the decision I made. It was better, I told myself, to die together this way. Perhaps in my own way it was a desperate attempt to apologize for all the years I kept you at arms length. Maybe it was my way of saying how much you really meant to me…_

Natsuki placed the pen down atop the small one person table and pushed herself upward. Vertebrae snapped into place with each upward movement and she cringed at the sickening sound of her bones cracking. It must have been well over an hour since she'd stepped into the near empty hospital cafeteria.

Not feeling much in the way of hunger she'd opted to sit and write out some of her thoughts. It was an unusual thing for her but as the day's drug on she had to find some way to occupy her time. A nurse had been kind enough to supply her with a small composition notebook and a couple of pens. The gift had been put to good use as somewhat of a makeshift journal.

With a groggy yawn she pressed one of the buttons on the soda machine and waited as it rolled down the chute. It fizzed when she opened it and quickly she slurped the bubbles while stepping out into the blinding sunlight.

Almost as soon as she'd stepped out a carrot-top girl bounded up to her, a bag dangling from her hands. "Natsuki!" The girl called out causing emerald eyes to glance up.

"Mai?" She said with her brows furrowed as her friend came to a stop in front of her. A small smile formed on the other girl's lips as she held out the bag to Natsuki.

"Yeah,... I know you said before that you didn't need anything but I thought at least a couple changes of clothes would do you some good. When I spoke to the nurses about where to find you they said you'd probably be grateful since you've been wearing stuff you bought in the gift shop all this time." Mai forced a small smile as she looked at the pale blue hospital t-shirt and white shorts Natsuki sported.

Emerald eyes roamed her own form and she gave a slight shrug. "It's not so bad.. Definitely better than biker leathers for a solid week." There was a chuckle that followed but it was without mirth and she rubbed the back of her neck gingerly after taking the bag from her friend. "Thanks though.." She said quietly.

Mai softened her smile and gave a small nod. "No problem. How..." There was a momentary pause. "How is she?"

Natsuki matched Mai's eyes and frowned slightly, those emerald eyes drifting to the ground. "She's... Not so good."

"Oh..." Mai replied quietly, sighing afterward. "At least she has you, Natsuki." She said firmly. "Everything will work out, I'm sure of it." A tentative hand was placed on the dark haired girl's shoulder. "I have to get to work, I'm sorry I can't stay longer. Please if you need anything, you know you can call me, okay?" There was a brief hug which caught the dark haired girl by her surprise but she leaned into it, silently appreciative for the comforting gesture.

"Thanks, Mai." She'd said before the two parted ways. She stared down into the brown bag and then lifted her eyes to watch her friend disappear into a nearby taxi that had been idling. She'd said Shizuru was lucky to have her? A sigh passed her lips as she wondered if that statement was true at all. It seemed she only brought heartache and trouble for the older girl. It was after all because of her Shizuru was even in this state. Her jaw visibly clenched.

During the short trip back toward Shizuru's room she passed several patients and a couple nurses. They all nodded in her direction. She'd been there for a week; most of them knew her face by now. The heavy door to Shizuru's room opened and Natsuki strolled in, taking her seat on the edge of the cot she called her bed. It squeaked slightly under her weight and she adjusted so she could lean over Shizuru just a bit.

Her friend was still very much so comatose but the doctors had said her vitals were improving every day. The breathing tube had been removed, that was a major relief. Shizuru had even surprised them by showing nerve response to several tests that required tapping to her elbows and knees, and pricking of the tips of her fingers.

Natsuki had been quite relieved to see her friend's reactions, as slight as they might have been. She smoothed the blanket over Shizuru's shoulders, careful not to bump the feeding tube. The doctors had insisted on that addition due to her malnourished state. Since she wasn't responsive they said this option would be the only way to get her the nutrients she so desperately needed.

It was a horrendous mar on the beauty that lie sleeping.

When they had shoved it down her throat Natsuki had to turn away. She couldn't stand to see her friend in such a manner. With her hands clenched at her sides she'd stepped into the hallway and fought back the tears that threatened to spill down her reddened cheeks. That had been the second full day Shizuru was in the hospital, right after the removal of the breathing tube. Now going on a full week Natsuki had gotten used to the sight. She noticed the color had slowly begun to return to Shizuru's cheeks and that she didn't look quite as thin as before. All good signs as far as she was concerned.

During her stay she had walked with several of the doctors attending to Shizuru and had learned a lot about her status. Thankfully they seemed to buy the whole motorcycle accident lie because not another question about it had come. Viridian eyes focused on the floor as she leaned back on the cot and took a sip of the cold soda before placing it on the little table to her left. In times like this she missed the gentle, off color teasing from Shizuru. At least with that she had something to keep her mind occupied. Now thoughts rambled through her brain like an unguarded freight train running wild. Often times her head hurt as a result. Thinking had never been one of her strongest points. She was more of a doer. It seemed now though she was making a transition.

"Shizuru..." She voiced softly, lips barely moving at all. "Please wake up, I miss you so much." The quiet realization was said in hopes that some where her friend could hear her. The doctors had encouraged her to continue talking to the brunette. They had said even though there might not be an outward reaction, patients often retained what people said to them in their comatose state. She'd spent the week reciting poetry from several books on loan, read numerous stories, even spouted out nonsensical information from biker magazines just to keep the notion alive that Shizuru could hear her. Natsuki would imagine a smirk gracing Shizuru's face at the bluenette reciting Shakespeare, horribly at that.

Now more than ever she hoped her friend could hear her.

Her bravery lapsed momentarily and she fell silent as her head hung, scattering a few loose bangs across her eyes. "There is so much I want to talk to you about. I really have a sense of timing, huh?" A weak smile fluttered across her lips. "Seems you've needed me for quite a while now, I know it's selfish that I want to talk when you can't respond. I feel though this might be the only time I can manage what I want to say..." Her jeans dampened as tears dripped from her cheeks.

There was a lump in her throat preventing the words she so desperately wanted to say but she swallowed it down after a brief moment. "Shizuru I..." Her voice cracked. "I'm never going to leave you again." The wet stain on her jeans grew as more tears fell. "You can depend on me, as I have depended on you for so long."

Tenderly she reached onto the bed and wrapped her hand around Shizuru's, squeezing it gently. "Come back to me; don't leave me here alone... It's too cruel." Again her voice cracked and this time she fell silent, her shoulders trembling as the sobs came. After a moment she sniffled quietly and her body became slightly rigid before she fell forward across the bed and cradled what part of Shizuru she could manage. "I..." She whimpered into the blankets. "I care about you so much..."

As she spoke those words the feelings behind them broke through the remaining barriers around her cold heart and her tears came freely. She had never allowed herself to speak like that to any one and now the one person she wanted to hear them... Couldn't. At least it seemed that way.

The only reply Natsuki got were the sounds of the machines beeping quietly around her. Internally her heart broke and she gripped the blankets covering her friend, crying desperately into them. It wasn't fair. Her knuckles turned white against the blankets and her body tensed.

"Wake up..." She said softly, turning her head to the side. Her cheeks were red and twin trails of wetness shimmered against her milky flesh. This was pure torture. Inside she damned herself to the depths of hell. Natsuki sobbed in agony, shoulder shuddering with each hard exhale. She deserved this fate, didn't she? Why now, only when her friend was so close to death could she manage to express how much the girl meant to her? It was pitiful. She felt pitiful. As she focused and lifted her head, her mouth parted and that clenched jaw went slack.

Two crimson eyes were fixated on her.

Natsuki's breath caught in her chest and she gasped softly. "Shizuru..."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four yay! Moving right on a little quicker than usual. This chapter is one of those that lead into the next arc... So yeah, it can get a little "meh" at times. You know how it goes with these types of "lead in" chapters. More to come soon, I promise. Work has picked up a little bit so... That might delay the next posting but it won't keep me away for too long! Thanks to all of you who have commented and left your responses to the story. All of those comments have been -very- helpful with the creative process. This story is going to delve deep and get a lot heavier but bare with me..

---

**Not Easily Washed Away**

Viridian eyes locked onto hazy crimson and for what seemed an eternity shared a look of intense passion. A flicker of uncertainty suddenly filled vermilion and the light that filtered into them for just a second was sucked back down into darkness. Immediately the brunette began to struggle against the feeding tube, gripping it between her hands and attempting to pull. Natsuki's eyes widened and she leapt from the cot, grabbing onto her friend's flailing hands. "No, Shizuru, stop!" She cried out.

The small serving tray that was beside the bed shattered to the ground in all of the commotion, water spraying from the pitcher that had been sitting atop it. One of the lines in Shizuru's arms was yanked from the skin causing the monitors around her to scream loudly. From down the hallway the sound of feet slapping tile could be heard as nurses rushed into the room. Two grabbed hold of Natsuki and pulled her away from Shizuru while another nurse took up the fight with the brunette.

"Don't hurt her!" Natsuki yelled out through gritted teeth as she struggled against the women holding her back.

Shizuru lashed out with all of her might against the woman that held her to the bed. Pain shot through every inch of her body, from the tip of her head to the bottom of her feet. Confused and afraid she clawed viciously at whatever part she could manage to get at on the other person. The nurse cried out when her arm met with sharp nails, a chunk of flesh was instantly cut away.

"I need a sedative injection now!" She yelled, grimacing. All the while her struggle intensified. As the words left her mouth a hand came down across her shoulder and shoved fiercely sending her reeling backwards. With a grunt she slammed back first into the wall and slid down, holding her head.

One of the nurses that held Natsuki disappeared down the hallway while the third nurse rushed over to her downed co-worker. On the bed the tawny haired Hime sat up and ripped the feeding tube from her throat roughly. Plastic rubbed painfully against the sensitive tissue as it came up, causing Shizuru to gag forcefully. Vomit pooled on the side of the floor as the brunette heaved, coughing harshly between each purge. Without hesitation both nurses grabbed hold of Shizuru's arms and forced her back onto the bed.

Her head thrashed from side to side as she cried out shrilly. "No! NO!" that once serene voice was broken and weak. Natsuki stood wide eyed as she was brushed aside by the nurse that had left. Upon her return a thin needle was jammed into Shizuru's arm, injecting her with bluish-clear liquid. After a moment her body began to still and those wild crimson eyes rolled backward.

"Is she okay!?" Natsuki screamed as she rushed to the bedside, gripping one of Shizuru's hands. She looked worriedly to the three nurses who struggled to catch their breath. One of them eyed her nervously before leaving to retrieve the doctor. The other two began cleaning up the mess that had been made, one mopping at the vomit laden floor while the other scooped up ice and water with a cloth.

Natsuki's body shook uncontrollably as she stood in shock, not fully able to process the events that had just transpired so quickly around her. Just then Dr. Shinobu rushed into the room, the nurse from before trailing behind him. "How are the vitals?" He asked while hurriedly fumbling at the lines along Shizuru's arms, reinserting the one that had come out and untangling the mess of others leading to various machines. During this frenzy of motion Natsuki was roughly shoved backward away from her friend.

"She's stable; we had to give her a sedative." The head nurse stated while cradling her arm. Dr. Shinobu took a look at it and shook his head.

"You're going to need stitches to close that up, please report downstairs and have it taken care of." He said while scribbling something down on his ever present clipboard.

Natsuki watched as two of the nurses left, leaving only the doctor and one nurse in the room. She took the opportunity to approach him with the questions she had. "Doctor..." She said weakly and he turned to her, softening his hardened gaze. "Is she going to be alright? I mean... Is she okay now?" Her voice revealed how truly shaken up she had been by the ordeal.

Doctor Shinobu laid a hand on her shoulder and squeezed. "Her vitals are stable and it doesn't seem like any real damage was done with the removal of the tube. When she wakes again we will run some tests and see if anything has changed. For now..." He turned to the nurse who had been watching from the sidelines. "Leave the feeding tube out. There is no need for a repeat of what just happened." The nurse nodded and took her leave, the doctor following closely behind.

Natsuki's body felt weak. The room around her began to swirl and colors blended into one single streak of light behind her eyes. A whimper passed her lips and her knees finally buckled, sending her crashing to the hard linoleum. Palms pressed roughly into the floor as she fought to regain control of her body, her head throbbed painfully behind her now closed eyes.

For a long moment she remained slumped over in the floor, holding her head with one hand while keeping her body somewhat upright with the other. Heavily she sighed as she slowly crawled to her feet, pulling her body up with the aid of the hospital bed. Emerald eyes shimmered due to unshed tears of frustration but she wouldn't cry, not now.

Her brunette friend was silent on the bed; though no feeding tube obstructed the beautiful sleeping face this time. While swallowing hard Natsuki pulled the blankets over Shizuru's still body and quietly tucked her in. One of the borrowed books was grabbed and she and sat on the edge of the cot, flipping to the folded page in the middle. Sitting idly by had never been something she could easily do so she did the only thing that came to mind as useful. She read.

"The hunter longed for the touch of his princess but she had been captured by the fierce Moon God, Oibion. He feared never again would he be able to gaze upon her loving face, to feel the smoothness of her pale skin or to caress the silken lips he so cherished with his own..." Fresh tears burned the corners of her eyes, blurring her vision. The words of the story seemed true of her situation. She sniffled softly and wiped the tears with the back of her sleeve, forcing herself to continue. "The hunter decided that come spring he would win back his love, Princess Anika, and make her his own."

--

"So you see the improved chip system in the Z model creates better timing response than the previous model. In short, less complicated terms it makes the bike a lot faster." Natsuki chuckled at her own over exaggerated explanation of the sport bike she'd been eyeing in the new edition of Motor Weekly. The worn magazine was tossed onto the cot as she leaned over the steaming tray of food one of the nurses had brought in. A couple things were pushed around with the ends of the chopsticks. "Ugh.." She groaned.

She wasn't a five star chef. That much she understood but why hospital food had to be so utterly detestable was beyond her comprehension. Surely with all of the funding they could afford at least one decent cook on the premises. A sigh passed those plump lips as she shoved a carrot, or what looked to be a carrot, into her mouth and chewed.

Nimble fingers thumbed through the pages of the magazine lazily as another 'carrot' was popped into her mouth. It crunched audibly while being consumed. "Mm,... Nice model." She commented absentmindedly, those emerald eyes scanning the page in front of her. Something nagged at her insides and her thin brows furrowed, head lifting toward the hospital bed. Crimson eyes were once again staring at her.

Instantly the magazine was forgotten. Natsuki stood, closing the distance between her and the newly awakened Shizuru by taking a seat on the edge of her bed. "Shizuru... You're awake, how do you feel?" She asked worriedly, reaching out to take one of her friend's hands into her own. It had been two days since the incident with the feeding tube. Since then Shizuru hadn't stirred, not even from her dreams.

Crimson eyes stared blankly at Natsuki, looking almost confused as they processed each movement the blue haired girl made.

"Shizuru?" Natsuki said softly, tilting her head with furrowed brows. Why wasn't she answering?

The brunette looked past Natsuki to the magazine the girl had been reading and to the blue haired Hime's surprise a gentle smile tugged her friend's lips. Well that had to be a good sign, right? Natsuki grabbed the magazine and grinned sheepishly. "I guess my boring rants about motor bikes finally woke you, huh?"

Still there was no answer. Rather Shizuru looked past Natsuki and the magazine she was holding to the tray of food left unattended on the cot. Emerald eyes followed her friend's line of sight and she smirked. "You're hungry?" She asked, quickly grabbing up the tray and offering out a bite of 'carrot' to her friend's mouth. Natsuki was utterly shocked when Shizuru opened up and accepted the bite, chewing gratefully.

"Wow..." She murmured under her breath and offered another bite out, this time wrapping some noodles around the chopsticks in addition to the 'carrots'. The brunette ate happily, her eyes closed contently and a small smile turning the corners of her mouth. It was really quite astounding.

A few moments later and the tray sat pushed aside, empty. Shizuru reclined against the multitude of pillows behind her back and Natsuki still sat Indian style at her side. "So you finally wake up and the first thing you want to do is eat... I can understand that." The bluenette said with a smile. Inside her stomach was uneasy but she managed to hide any concern she had. At the moment it would suffice just to have her friend awake and seemingly in such high spirits.

"Hello... Oh..." The familiar voice of Dr. Shinobu announced his presence even before he was in the room. Once the door was pushed open though he stood in the hallway shocked to see the brunette up and alert. "You're awake then, Ms. Fujino?" He asked a smile on his lips. Shizuru looked in his direction but said nothing, quickly turning her eyes back to Natsuki.

"Uh she woke up and ate but she hasn't said anything yet." Natsuki said, rubbing the back of her neck gingerly. The doctor gave a nod and motioned for her to follow him into the hallway. She gave a reassuring smile to Shizuru and then vanished right behind Dr. Shinobu. "What's up?" She asked, leaning her back against the wall.

"Well it's interesting she's finally awake again but you said she hasn't spoken?" His grey brows furrowed causing his face to wrinkle slightly. Natsuki gave a nod as her only reply. She didn't quite see what the problem was considering her friend was awake and hadn't tried to bolt. Not only that but she'd eaten willingly! That in its self should have been a huge success. However as she stood there with the doctor looking down at her she couldn't help but feel a little unnerved.

He rubbed his chin and nodded. "I see. Well then please Ms. Kuga, keep an eye on her." His head bowed slightly as he turned and left Natsuki with her thoughts. Her lips pursed in question but he was already gone so she turned and went back into the room. Upon entering she stopped and raised a brow.

"Eating and now this..." She murmured while carefully taking a seat on the edge of the bed. At some point the brunette had reached over and seized the motorcycle magazine and now sat quietly scanning the pages with those beautifully entrancing crimson eyes.

"I never knew you were into this kind of stuff." Natsuki said as she scooted a little closer to Shizuru, pointing out something on the page. "There's one like I have." She patted the picture of the Ducati taking up most of the center spread. Shizuru looked at the bike and then up to Natsuki with a warm smile that crinkled her eyes. Emerald broke contact with crimson and she cleared her throat quietly while reading the paragraph under the photo. "Ducati's enhancements with handling and speed have put them at the top of the racing world. They're known world wide as the number one company for sports bikes."

To be sitting side by side reading about motorcycles was strange enough but for Shizuru to seem interested was somewhat mind boggling to the bluenette. However she obliged happily. They made it through the entire magazine before Shizuru seemed content and rested against the pillows, allowing her crimson eyes to close part way.

"Are you tired?" Natsuki asked quietly as she adjusted the blankets over her friend. She began to stand but her wrist was caught. With a soft gasp she found herself tugged down beside Shizuru and snuggled up against. At first her body was rigid against her friend's but as the brunette's breath grazed softly against her neck and began to even out she found her own body seemed to relax.

A hand came up to wrap its self in chestnut colored hair, stroking it tenderly. "Ah.. Shizuru.." Natsuki whispered quietly to herself as her friend drifted off once again. However this time it wasn't a forced sleep. It seemed to embrace Shizuru, gently lulling her into the land of dreams. Those crimson eyes fluttered in a futile effort causing Natsuki to smile sweetly. "Sleep.. It's alright, I'm here." She'd said while massaging her friend's scalp.

Shizuru's hand clung to the front of Natsuki's t-shirt, preventing her from leaving. The bluenette smiled and placed a most tender, secret kiss upon Shizuru's temple after she'd drifted off completely. She quickly found she couldn't untangle herself. She would wake her friend if she did, so she settled back and turned into the older girl's embrace. Her eyes scanned the seemingly peaceful face of the brunette before she did something that shocked herself... She nuzzled into Shizuru and closed her eyes with a quiet yawn.

"Sweet dreams, Shizuru..."

--

When forty winters shall besiege thy brow,

And dig deep trenches in thy beauty's field,

Thy youth's proud livery so gazed on now,

Will be a tattered weed of small worth held:

Then being asked, where all thy beauty lies,

Where all the treasure of thy lusty days;

To say within thine own deep sunken eyes,

Were an all-eating shame, and thriftless praise.

How much more praise deserved thy beauty's use,

If thou couldst answer 'This fair child of mine

Shall sum my count, and make my old excuse'

Proving his beauty by succession thine.

This were to be new made when thou art old,

And see thy blood warm when thou feel'st it cold.

Dark blue tresses fell across her shoulders as her head bowed ever slightly, emerald eyes hidden behind closed lids. At the corner of her mouth her lip twitched and a slow sigh passed through them. Natsuki was taking her bow after displaying her shabby prowess as a reader of literary classics. Across the room crimson eyes danced with mirth as they surveyed the beautiful biker in all of her proud, momentary glory.

"And that my lady is how you read Shakespeare." Natsuki grinned and closed their distance, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. The book she'd been holding was tossed aside and she flopped forward onto her stomach, leaning her chin into her hands.

It was Saturday afternoon...

Two more days had passed since Shizuru woke again and each night henceforth Natsuki had slept by her friend's side. It was somewhat uncomfortable at first with the bed only really being big enough for one person but the brunette had found a quick way to solve their problems. She'd simply pushed Natsuki down onto her back and curled herself atop the biker, thus ending the constant squirming of the other girl. Natsuki hadn't argued.

On the first morning Natsuki had slept with Shizuru in her arms she'd been greeted by the sight of two shimmering crimson eyes staring down at her when she awoke. Her cheeks instantly flushed and she bolted out of the bed and into the bathroom. Looking into the mirror she noted the color of her cheeks and sighed. Even now Shizuru found a way to make her blush so furiously. It was annoying.

However the next morning when she'd stirred and found those same eyes upon her, she didn't run away. It seemed this time it had more of a calming effect. She'd smiled up at Shizuru and bid her a good morning. Later she'd gotten them both some breakfast from the cafeteria. Somewhat burnt waffles. Delicious. She'd worked hard not to gag but to her surprise the brunette seemed to be enjoying them to the very last bite. It was a great sign and the doctor agreed wholeheartedly.

During the long days Natsuki opted to read to her friend instead of subjecting her to the fufu soap operas that polluted the airwaves in the afternoons. She'd just read another sonnet and much to her liking Shizuru was smiling her approval. It wasn't like Natsuki to read such material, let alone aloud to some one. Alas, there were only so many books to choose from.. They weren't in a library. It seemed to make Shizuru happy though. That was all that truly mattered.

As she watched Shizuru's eyes begin to droop she leaned forward and brushed the hair from them. "You're warm, Shizuru. Do you feel alright?" She asked, concern etched onto her face as she put the flat of her hand against the brunette's cheek. Shizuru gingerly took hold of the hand into both of her own and pressed her lips to the palm, causing the dark haired girl's cheeks to flush. "Nn,.. Idiot." She murmured as she brought her hand back from Shizuru's. The girl looked a little disappointed when Natsuki slid off of the bed to retrieve the nurse.

"She just feels warm is all and since she's not talking I..." Natsuki said as she shrugged her shoulders at the petite red-headed nurse she was now walking beside.

"I see, well let's take a..." The nurses words caught in her throat as the sounds of alarms began ringing in her ears. It was the IV and heart rate machinery in Shizuru's room. Natsuki blinked and then tore off down the hallway. Her feet thudded hard against the linoleum, her chest heaved with each ragged breath she forced into her lungs. She skidded to a halt in the doorway, her eyes wide.

Shizuru was standing near the window, gazing out at the sunset. The lines connected to her hands and arms had been pulled free when she stood up. They were tangled on the floor at her feet.

"Shizuru..." Natsuki whispered just as the nurse rounded the corner behind her. She pushed past the blue haired girl and rushed to the brunette's side, taking her by the wrist tenderly.

"Ms. Fujino.." She said but Shizuru jerked her arm away, spinning around confused. Her eyes narrowed and she stepped away from the nurse, looking as if she was about to bolt.

"Shizuru!" Natsuki called out and rushed to her friend's side, taking her hand and lacing it with her own. "It's alright, calm down." She said reassuringly while inching the brunette back to the bed. "Here.." She said with a small smile, helping her friend back into the bed and covering her with the sheet. "It's no good to walk around barefoot. You'll catch a cold..."

Crimson eyes seemed to light up a bit at the comforting words and gestures of the blue haired girl. Shizuru's body relaxed into the delicate embrace of the pillows and she yawned just slightly which caused Natsuki to chuckle. "I think you need to rest." She again cleared the stray hairs from her friend's eyes.

The nurse watched the interaction in silence and then turned to leave. "I will go and get her something to bring the slight fever down. Please excuse me." Natsuki nodded and watched in silence as the woman left, then her attention went right back to Shizuru who had never taken her eyes off of her.

"You gave us a scare; you shouldn't just jump up like that." The scolding was minor and Natsuki's voice held no real anger. How could she be mad at Shizuru? Her friend had stood up! She'd been mobile.. She actually had made an effort to get out of that damned bed. That was another good sign, right? The questions chased one another around in Natsuki's head but the excitement from seeing her friend up and moving never dulled.

When the nurse returned Shizuru was already dozing once again. She was woken much to the dismay of Natsuki and given some aspirin to keep the fever down, and then was allowed to slip back into her seemingly peaceful slumber. Natsuki remained by her side, tenderly stroking one pale cheek.

"You're strong aren't you? Underneath this frail exterior.." she whispered softly as her eyes scanned the silhouette of her friend in the darkness. The bringer of sleep tugged at her body but Natsuki refused to give in just yet. She was determined to keep watch over her friend, despite the fact her fever had already broken.

From her lap she lifted the brown, worn book and began reading. "The hunter kept his movements light as he snuck quietly through the over grown gardens. So close to his love, he trembled at the thought of holding her once more. His heart swelled and began to thud loudly behind his breast, so loudly he placed a hand over it to bid it be still, lest he be caught by the Moon God."

Her voice trailed at the last sentence, those eyes again settling on the sleeping form of Shizuru. Her heart strings tugged and she swallowed. Setting the book aside she leaned forward and tenderly traced the outline of her friend's lips with her index finger. To her surprise the tip of Shizuru's little, pink tongue peeked out and graced the digit. Natsuki shuddered and retreated, her breath now hitched considerably. The book was again lifted and she continued to read aloud...

---

"Vitals have remained stable. It seems her protein as well as vitamin intake are up, the numbers look good on her new readings since she's willingly been eating. Even more amazing the wounds on her back seem to have healed at an accelerated rate." Dr. Shinobu adjusted the glasses on his nose and shook his head in amazement. "She's shown so much improvement, however you said she still hasn't spoken since?" His eyes fell on Natsuki who was situated across the desk from him, her arms across her chest loosely.

She was currently eyeing the white wash walls, going over the many plaques that hung upon them. Graduate degrees, Master degrees, several prestigious recognition certificates. He was quite the qualified doctor it seemed. When she finally noticed she was being spoken to her emerald eyes went from the pictures on his desk of various family members to him.

"No. She hasn't said a word." She said in a low voice, casting her eyes to the multi-colored tiled floor. The doctor nodded his head in response and scribbled something onto his clipboard.

"Well." He began while he sat up and took a long pull from the steaming mug of coffee in front of him. "It would seem to me that besides that she's quite well. I'm not sure there is anything else we can do for her here." His words were true enough. Thanks to the time the feeding tube had been in place Shizuru's body had managed to recover considerably. Then of course there was the small miracle of her wanting to eat on her own.

It also seemed she'd been a lot better off without the nurses constantly buzzing around her. After the knock the head nurse had taken at the hands of the tawny haired Hime, no one wanted to take any risks so they only came to the room when necessary. Who could blame them, Natsuki had thought, if only they knew the true power of Shizuru Fujino. She'd shuddered thinking about it.

"So what are you saying?" The blue haired Hime asked in a gruff voice. It was evident she was annoyed but then again she had been annoyed for a while now.

Ever since the other night..

_"Hold her down please!" Dr. Shinobu yelled while trying to inject a needle into Shizuru's arm. She was fighting him with every ounce of strength she could muster. The nurses swarmed, pinning the brunette to the bed by her arms and legs. Much to the dismay of Natsuki she could only stand by and watch as two nurses blocked her path from getting directly involved._

_"You're hurting her!" She'd cried out, while trying to force her way to her friend's side. They'd finally managed to pull a needle full of blood from the brunette and the doctor retreated with it. Shizuru was lying on the bed, sobbing quietly under the rough hands of the nurses that held onto her._

_They'd released her a moment later and left the room, leaving Natsuki standing there at the foot of the bed. Carefully she'd approached her friend and climbed onto the bed, cradling Shizuru in her arms as she wept. "Shh,.. I got you.." She whispered while smoothing the girl's hair back._

She snapped back into reality when the doctor spoke up again. "I'm saying perhaps being out of the hospital and in a more comfortable, familiar setting, she might fully come back." He sighed. Truth was the silence on the part of the red-eyed girl unnerved him. She seemed responsive to the treatments provided and it was clear her body was healing nicely but why wouldn't she speak? He had no answer to that.

Natsuki's brows furrowed and she stood abruptly from the chair, knocking it back a couple inches. "I can take her home then?" The doctor nodded while handing over the clipboard he'd previously been scribbling on.

It was a release form.


	5. Chapter 5

Finally... Feels like it too way too long to get this chapter done. Work has been killing me! -tugs hair- Anyway here is chapter five for your reading pleasure. I'm actually already jotting notes and an outline for chapter six so hopefully it won't be too long of a wait. I hope you guys enjoy, thanks for all the comments!

---

**Not Easily Washed Away**

The warm breath across her cheeks caused her heart to flutter. As the blood constricted in her chest it rose upward and flushed her cheeks dark crimson. Blue hair skittered across her forehead as the beautiful biker continued to hover just above her. She felt protected with the blue veil surrounding her. Something tugged her heart and her eyes narrowed upon two plump lips mere inches from her own. Uncertainty rippled throughout her rigid body and those eyes closed.

"Shizuru..."

Pure silk. The way her name rolled off of the other girl's lips. Her eyes opened, still partly lidded but widened when she felt wetness against her mouth. Natsuki was kissing her. Shock reverberated through her mind and panic began setting in. Suddenly two strong arms encircled her body and tightly held on. She couldn't move, she couldn't even return the gesture with her own lips.

"Shizuru..."

Natsuki whispered the name into the darkness of the room and Shizuru shivered from the way it felt. Her cheeks once again flushed dark crimson. Those strong arms pulled from around her waist and hands began drifting along her sides, over her stomach and brushing the sides of her breasts. Heat filtered through Shizuru's body as she gasped.

"I..."

Time seemed to slow, stopping all together as Shizuru leaned upward and captured those sweet lips with her own. Darkness swirled around her being, invading her soul, tearing at her heart. From the corners of her mouth a stream of blood ran down her chin, dripping to the cold floor below.

Crimson eyes opened widely to peer into seemingly endless crimson eyes staring intently back at her. With a cry she pulled back, yanking the covers over her exposed body. The figure sat in perfect seiza in front of her, head bowed which caused chestnut colored locks to scatter across its pale face.

"I..."

The figure trembled as it spoke, shoulders shivering as twin streams of blood began spilling from the corners of its eyes.

"Am..."

Shizuru stared at the figure in front of her, her chest heaving as she tried to register her own shock. Tentatively she reached forward and pushed several bangs out of the figure's eyes and then drew back, covering her mouth with her hand. Her eyes reflected her own face back at her...

"A demon."

The figure lunged forward, knocking Shizuru back on the bed and wrapping clawed hands around her throat. She gasped, struggling futilely under the grasp of the figure towering above her.

"What you want versus what you are...." The figure spat coldly, squeezing the brunette's throat. "You will never obtain purity. Your hands..." It grinned, bearing fangs. "Our hands are filthy. You're mine." As the words were uttered the figure bent down atop Shizuru and claimed her lips.

"Stop! Shizuru!" Two hands forcefully took hold of her wrists and pressed her backwards onto the bed. The brunette fought hard against the figure, crying out softly as tears began streaming down her reddened cheeks. "Shizuru!"

Crimson eyes snapped open and all struggling ceased. She lay silently upon the bed staring up into concerned emerald pools hovering just above. Slowly she blinked...

It was...

A dream?

She blinked again as a faint whimper passed her lips. Natsuki immediately released her grip on Shizuru and settled beside her on the bed. Gingerly she ran a hand down her friend's cheek. "Did you have a bad dream?" The bluenette asked after a moment of silence between them.

Shizuru closed her eyes momentarily, the corners creasing in silent frustration. Bits and pieces of the 'dream' passed through the forefront of her mind but quickly they were locked away in the dark recesses. Outwardly the perfectly constructed mask resumed and her expression softened as she opened her eyes to glance to Natsuki, a serene smile planting its self across her lips.

Thin brows furrowed as Natsuki tilted her head, confused by the sudden shift in mood on the part of her friend. "Shizuru.." She said timidly, reaching out and taking hold of one of the brunette's hands, swiping her thumb thoughtfully over the tender flesh. "You can talk to me."

Shizuru lowered her head for a brief moment but quickly lifted her eyes to meet emeralds and smiled, this time wider. Natsuki allowed a slow, drawn out sigh to pass over her lips as she ran a hand through her long, shimmering tresses. Her eyes widened when she was pulled down suddenly onto the bed, her face pressing into the soft cotton of Shizuru's night gown. Her cheeks flushed when she realized her face was directly between her friend's ample breasts.

"Shi.. Shi.. Idiot!" Natsuki howled while pushing herself to the edge of the bed, sitting upright quite rigidly. From behind the brunette turned on her side, hiding a small giggle behind her hand. With her cheeks still beaming, Natsuki stood and marched into the hallway sliding the door to the bedroom shut firmly behind her. Her head fell back against it softly and she sighed. From her position in the hallway she could clearly see random rays of light filtering through the living room windows. So it was morning already?

How disappointing..

Pushing herself off of the wall she marched down the hallway determined to at least make a worth while breakfast. Suddenly she stopped in her tracks, the corner of one brow twitching slightly. The last time she'd ventured into the kitchen it was... She groaned remembering the utter state of disarray. That also brought to mind the fact there were no groceries in the house. "Damnit, Kuga." She murmured while tapping her self on the forehead. "Didn't even think about that."

Then again when she'd signed that release form she hadn't been thinking about anything besides getting Shizuru out of that damned hospital. Now she wished she had considered more carefully the things she should have prepared before hand. Natsuki had never been one to think ahead, that was obvious. Regrettably she pulled her cell phone from the folds of her hoodie and punched in some numbers, cursing herself as the line began to ring.

"Hello!" It never failed to amaze the bluenette how Mai could sound so utterly chipper so early in the morning. Never the less a happy Mai might be in the mood to help her out.

"Yo, Mai." She said while she chipped away a bit of loose paint on the wall she stared intently at.

"Natsuki?" Mai's brows furrowed as she leaned into her phone, holding it between her cheek and shoulder. In front of her Mikoto sat squirming, not able to even hold still long enough for the carrot top to tie her shoe. "Hold still!" Mai shouted affectionately at her spiky haired companion.

Natsuki blinked. "Huh?" She asked, furrowing her own brows.

"Sorry, I was talking to Mikoto. What's up?" The carrot top asked while shooing Mikoto off. She looked more than pleased to be able to romp around out of sight. Mai finally breathed and leaned backward against her couch.

"Well I was wondering if I could bother you for a favor?" Natsuki asked hesitantly. "I understand if you're busy, actually you probably are so never mind..." She rushed her speech, about to hang up.

"Whoa, whoa, hold on a minute!" Mai said hurriedly. "Gosh, you don't even give a girl a second to talk." She chuckled. "I'm not busy at all, what do you need? Hey wait... Aren't you at the hospital still? Did something happen!?" Mai suddenly began getting a little panicky, fearing things had taken a turn for the worse.

"Ah no, actually Shizuru was released so I brought her home. Er.. Home to her place that is." A piece of paint chipped and crumbled between Natsuki's fingertips.

"I see, well then..." Mai pursed her lips, not sure if she should be nosey at the moment. Instead she remained silent and waited for the bluenette to ask whatever she was going to ask.

"Right so... I sort of forgot there's no food or anything here." Emerald eyes watched as more paint carelessly floated from between her fingernails to the floor.

Mai's brows shot up and she began pulling on her sneakers. "No prob, I will pick some stuff up for you. Anything in particular?" She already had her jacket in hand and Mikoto on her leash.

"Uh just kitchen basics? I don't really know.. Ramen?" Natsuki twitched her nose, not really sure what to suggest. In the background she could hear Mikoto relay the word ramen excitedly and Mai scold her as something crashed to the ground. She winced, trying not to chuckle at her friend's misfortune. "Sorry." She mumbled half heartedly.

Mai shut and locked the door to her apartment while Mikoto bounded down the steps. "Give me like half an hour." She said. "See ya!" The phone was clicked off and shoved into her jeans pocket. Natsuki blinked down to the screen flashing "call ended" and then smiled. With that little situation handled she wandered bravely into the kitchen, flipping the light switch on as she passed.

The stench that arose was most intense. It made the bluenette step back a couple feet, her face contorting slightly. Pots, pans, plates, dishes of all sorts lined the counter tops. All of the discarded food lay rotting on the kitchen table. It pulsed with the remains of larva and freshly birthed maggots. Internally her stomach twisted into knots causing her mouth to water. Fighting the urge to purge she turned and exited the kitchen with a sigh.

That wouldn't do, she thought and with a deep breath forced her way back into the kitchen. She needed to clean. It wouldn't do for Shizuru to get sick from being around such a disgusting mess. She couldn't bear having to take the brunette back to that damned hospital for anything else. No… Shizuru was her responsibility; she needed to take care of her friend for once.

And she would.

First stop was the sink which was plugged and allowed to fill with warm, soapy water. Next she attacked the counters, tossing the dishes into the sink to soak while wiping down the once beautiful marble tops with a wet wash rag. Sweat formed on her brow as she feverishly scrubbed the flatware and other dishes, setting them in a rack to dry.

Finally done with the dishes she set her sights on the kitchen table and grimaced. Steeling herself she grabbed a trash bag and began getting rid of the rotted food, washing the table down with disinfectant spray she'd found beneath the sink as she went. The trash was hauled out to a dumpster bin near the side of the road in front of Shizuru's house and upon returning the kitchen was swept and mopped.

Everything was left to shimmer in Natsuki's wake.

Silently she slid down the wall in the living room and sighed, leaning back when her ass hit the floor. It had been an exhausting effort but the kitchen was at least done. The sweat above her brow was wiped away with the backside of her hand and she let out a breath, closing her eyes for a brief moment before remembering "Shizuru.." She mouthed and stood, hastily making her way toward the girl's bedroom. The door was slid open quietly and emerald pools peered inside.

On the bed lay a sleeping princess, her breathing shallow and even.

Natsuki smiled warmly without realizing and entered the bedroom cautiously; quiet as to not wake her friend. As she hovered over the bed she couldn't help but notice the worn look holding Shizuru's once flawless face hostage. Faint traces of worry lines were visible in places they'd never been before. It made her heart twinge slightly.

Gentle fingertips brushed against Shizuru's soft cheek, trailing across her brow to brush away a few errant strands of chestnut colored hair. A smile tugged the dark haired girl's mouth when Shizuru reached up and took that hand into her own two, holding it tightly as she continued to sleep. "Shizuru..." Natsuki whispered before leaning down, her lips mere inches from that soft flesh.

-Knock, Knock-

The sound caused the bluenette to register reality once more and she snapped upright, blinking rapidly. Had she almost? She carefully untangled her hand from Shizuru's two and left the room, sliding the door shut behind her. There was a hot sensation gracing her cheeks, what she could only guess as a blush at her own sudden behavior.

"Yo, Mai." Natsuki said with a smile, trying to wipe the blush from her cheeks as she opened the door. The carrot top turned around to face her, smiling brightly. She stepped inside, both hands carrying grocery bags.

"Hey Natsuki, Mikoto is bringing in the rest." Mai said as she brushed past the dark haired girl and found her way into the kitchen. Natsuki watched her disappear and then was roughly bumped into by a short, spiky haired girl hidden behind two grocery bags. She blinked and took one of the bags, revealing a smiling Mikoto behind it.

"Hi, Natsuki!" The younger girl beamed while searching out Mai in the kitchen.

"Hey Mikoto… Jesus Mai, how much stuff did you get anyway?" She commented while wandering into the kitchen to find the carrot top busily putting things away in the fridge.

"Well I just got basics like you said." She replied, not bothering to come out of the fridge to face her friend.

"I meant basics for a normal person, not a chef like you." Natsuki murmured while digging into one of the bags curiously. Her eyes widened ever so slightly as her hands wrapped around a jar of mayo and she hoisted it up. Mai turned to grab some more things from the kitchen table and spotted her friend holding the jar in disbelief. Mai simply smiled, blushing slightly as she hurriedly began putting things away again.

Natsuki tilted her head while dropping the jar back into the bag and leaning against the table with her arms loosely crossed over her mid-section. "Thank you for all of this. How much do I owe you anyway?" She asked with furrowed brows as a hand fished into the back pocket of her jeans for the leather wallet she carried.

Mai turned and put her hands up, shaking her head with a smile. "You don't owe me anything."

Natsuki blinked and then shook her own head. "No way, Mai I can't accept something like that."

"It wasn't for you, Natsuki; it was for my former Kaichou." Mai stated in a matter fact tone that left no room for argument on the part of the dark haired girl. For a long moment they stared at one another without exchanging words until Natsuki finally conceded and gave a nod. Mai smiled, mentally noting her small victory as she finished putting the remaining items into the fridge. "How is she doing?" Mai asked cautiously.

Natsuki's eyes cast to the floor, a forlorn look reflected in them. "She's…" A sigh passed her lips and she slid atop the table, allowing her head to drop. "Not talking."

Mai's brows furrowed slightly. "Not talking, like about what happened?"

Natsuki shook her head. "I mean not talking at all. Not since she woke up last, she hasn't uttered a single word." She picked at her pant leg, shredding a piece of imaginary fuzz between her nails. Mai pursed her lips, unsure of how to respond. Something such as 'she's going to be fine' seemed quite generic giving the circumstances. Shizuru was anything but fine, that much was more than obvious given the actions during the Hime Festival and certainly the events that followed.

"Natsuki." Mai said, taking up station in front of her friend. "I know that everything seems quite hopeless right now." A sigh passed her lips but she forged on. "However if anyone has a chance at pulling Shizuru out of this…" Another momentary pause then Natsuki looked up at the carrot top. "You do."

Emerald eyes closed and thin brows creased just as once strong shoulders began to drop. "I…" Natsuki began, her shoulders shuddered slightly and she sniffled. The strong outward appearance she'd crafted was crumbling in light of a friend who had a shoulder to cry on. "Don't know what to do… Mai…" Her words were broken, soaked in desperate need for guidance. However as the carrot top looked on in silent anguish over her friend's situation she could do nothing. Despite the loss of any guiding light Mai wrapped her arms around Natsuki and allowed her dark haired friend solace in the embrace.

She'd never seen Natsuki cry. Now that she had, it broke her heart.

"Sorry." Natsuki muttered a moment later, swiping her sleeve across her face to clear the remaining tear marks. Mai tried to offer a weak smile but failed and looked to the floor. She wasn't quite sure what she could offer her friend and that upset her internally because she wanted to be there for Natsuki.

"So this place is a real wreck huh?" Mai asked, effectively changing the topic as her purple eyes scoured the kitchen. Natsuki blinked as she followed her friend's line of sight.

"Hey! I worked my ass off in here; you should have seen it before!" She shouted, raising a fist into the air. True she was no master of house work but she had managed to do a decent job all things considered.

Mai simply smirked and shook her head. "I only saw a bit of the living room when I came in, but Natsuki this place is a mess." The carrot top situated her hands on her hips. Natsuki simply pursed her lips and gave a slight shrug. What could she say? Shizuru had let her home spiral into dire conditions. Of course that was the least of Natsuki's worries considering how the brunette had led herself into much worse condition.

"Why don't Mikoto and I help you clean up? I'm sure brightening things up around here would put Shizuru in a better mood, think so?" Mai tapped her chin thoughtfully. Natsuki arched her brows and then smiled, Mai knew how to take her mind off of things and who was she to argue? "Then it's settled."

--

Thin brows knitted in frustration as finally the last of the wax was peeled from the floor and discarded into an awaiting trash bin. A rag scrubbed the spot where the buildup used to be, shining it effectively. Natsuki sat back on her heals and wiped her brow, sighing softly. Viridian eyes scanned the living room. There were no more cobwebs, all of the dust had been cleared and the floors shined, newly mopped. It was beginning to look vaguely like the beautiful home Shizuru once kept.

Perhaps this was a good idea after all. Busying herself with seemingly dull chores had managed to keep her overworked mind from wandering to darker realities that lurked just down the hallway. Something crashed outside keeping her from over thinking too much. She stood with furrowed brows and made her way into the back yard. Mikoto sat Indian style on the ground wearing what used to be a potted plant on her head. Mai stood behind her, one hand on her forehead.

"Having trouble?" Natsuki asked, startling Mai and causing her head to jerk up in surprise. The dark haired girl just smiled and helped Mikoto to her feet, dusting her head off.

"Mikoto got a little ahead of herself." Mai said with a roll of her eyes. The cat goddess smiled sheepishly at both girls. Honestly, who could ever stay mad at a girl so utterly cute?

Natsuki shook her head. "Don't bother with back here, this place needs a miracle." She sighed while surveying the vast unkempt backyard. It was over run with weeds that waved in the mid-day breeze and barely any actual flowers shown among the high grasses. Quite the contrast to how it once looked. Her memories began tugging her to a time when things were much less complicated…

"_Wow, Shizuru… You really take care of this place." Natsuki commented with her hands in her jeans pockets as she strolled through the backyard, feet thudding off of the little stone pathway they were on. _

_Shizuru smiled proudly and gave a slight nod of her head. "One needs a place of comfort in their home." She said quietly, hands folded across her mid-section._

_Natsuki smirked. "I call that my game room." She grinned wickedly at the roll of eyes she got from the brunette. She'd never been able to have a garden of her own, mainly due to living in an apartment but no doubt if she did have one she would have eventually killed it. For Shizuru though it seemed fitting to have such a vast, lush garden. Natsuki smiled inwardly thinking about the Kyoto woman sipping tea out here among the beautiful flowers. So like her._

"_Ara, Natsuki… You should walk with me more often; it's quite peaceful, ne?" Shizuru gave her a sideways glance and smiled warmly. That smile was so damn inviting… Natsuki stared a moment longer than she should and ended up stepping on the side of the pathway, losing her balance immediately and toppling onto her hindquarters._

_She winced while quickly trying to lift herself from the ground. All the while Shizuru hid a giggle behind one hand while offering her other out to her friend. Of course Natsuki refused the help. She'd just blushed and walked slightly in front of Shizuru for the remainder of their outing._

"Well is there anything else we can help with?" Mai asked, bringing Natsuki out of her momentary reverie.

"Hm? Oh... I don't think so. The house looks amazing, thank you both for all of your help. I really appreciate it." Natsuki bowed her head slightly, a bit out of character for her but she was truly grateful.

Mai just smiled and waved a hand. "We're glad to help. Why don't I cook up some dinner? It's getting late.."

Natsuki's brows furrowed and she tugged her phone out of her pocket, checking the time. She blinked and then chuckled dryly. "Wow, have we really been cleaning that long?" It was almost four in the afternoon. They had cleaned all the way through lunch and then some. As if noting her realization her stomach growled. Mikoto blinked and stared intently at Natsuki's stomach causing the dark haired Hime to blush. "I guess I could eat..." She mumbled.

Mai grinned and pulled Mikoto along with her into the house, leaving Natsuki behind. She chuckled as the two disappeared. Strange how she'd gotten so close to them, even before all of the destruction during the Hime Festival. How had Mai managed to work her way into the blue haired girl's life? She wasn't sure... Though she wouldn't trade that friendship for anything.

She leaned heavily against the side of the house and sighed, running a hand through her long mane. Had Shizuru felt the same way about their friendship? What a dumb question, mentally she scolded herself. Of course Shizuru felt the same about their friendship! Look at what she'd put herself through. Before everything that had happened the brunette had been the first friend Natsuki had ever had. How had she repaid the selflessness of Shizuru? By using her.

Then and there she decided never to take that friendship for granted again. It had cost her friend dearly and that was something that now sat heavily on Natsuki's shoulders. The weight of that guilt was quite tremendous, however this time she wouldn't break. She needed to be strong for Shizuru... For once. Quietly she scanned the garden before turning to head inside.

---

"I think you might have made too much." Natsuki said as she broke her chopsticks and began digging in. Before her was quite the feast set up on the kitchen table. Various dishes filled the entire house with the sweet aromas of delicious food. There was nothing quite like a dinner prepared by Mai. Natsuki's mouth watered in anticipation as she hoisted a heaping helping of noodles to her mouth.

"Maybe so but left over's will be good for you and Shizuru. That way you don't have to chance cooking any sort of abominations. I would hate for her to end up back in the hospital because of food poisoning!" Mai grinned broadly.

"Hah. Hah. Hah. I never claimed to be a five star chef." Natsuki muttered between chopsticks full of noodles and beef. Her emerald eyes fell on Mikoto... The girl looked to be enjoying the food a little too much. More of it was around her mouth than in it. Her eyes rolled as she focused on her own meal.

"Um, do you think Shizuru might want to eat with us?" Mai asked raising her brows as Natsuki looked up from her food.

She hadn't thought about that. Mentally she kicked herself. She really needed to stop putting herself first but that was going to be a hard habit to break. "I... don't know."

"Well do you want to find out?" Mai chuckled as Natsuki stood, rubbing the back of her neck gingerly.

"I'll go see." She said while exiting the kitchen. Carefully the bedroom door slid open and the dark haired girl slipped inside, eyeing the bed which still held Shizuru's sleeping form. Gently she rubbed her friend's shoulder, taking a seat beside her. "Shizuru, hey.." She said softly.

Slowly two crimson eyes part way opened and the brunette rolled over onto her side, focusing her attention on Natsuki. She smiled sleepily which caused Natsuki to smile in return. "Are you hungry?" She asked, brushing a couple strands of hair from the brunette's face. Shizuru pursed her lips cutely and then gave a slight nod of her head before rising with a yawn. She seemed to be sleeping a lot lately.

"Good, come on there is a lot of good food waiting." Natsuki took hold of one of Shizuru's hands and helped her to her feet, leading her out of the room. Once into the kitchen her hand was tugged and she turned, furrowing her brows. Shizuru had stopped walking and now stood rigidly, her crimson eyes on the other two occupants at the kitchen table.

Mai met crimson eyes with her own violet and she couldn't contain the soft gasp that left her mouth. She'd never seen Shizuru so... Discomposed. Normally a little smile and cheery red eyes melted the hearts of everyone around her but now the former Kaichou looked ragged and frail. At the moment she seemed a little agitated as well. The carrot top shifted uncomfortably in her chair. Beside her Mikoto sat up a little straighter as her eyes went between Mai and Shizuru.

"Uh Shizuru, Mai was kind enough to stop by and make dinner for us." Natsuki was trying to defuse the situation before anything bad could come of it. She pulled out a chair for Shizuru and smiled reassuringly. For a long moment the brunette simply stood at the entrance way to the kitchen and then abruptly she turned and walked away. Natsuki blinked, her jaw going a bit slack.

Mai stood from her chair and patted Mikoto on the head. "I think it's time to go." She said, noting the disappointment in the younger girl. "Don't pout; we'll get ice cream on the way home okay?" Well that bribe worked because Mikoto beamed and hastily ran for the front door. Natsuki turned and gave Mai an apologetic look but before she could say anything the carrot top waved a hand. "Don't worry about it. If you need anything else just call me." She smiled and gave a little wave before heading out the front door with Mikoto blazing a trail in front of her, squealing happily about what type of ice cream she wanted.

Now on her own again Natsuki peered down the hallway dreading the fact she was about to have to find out what was wrong with Shizuru. She figured she already knew what the problem was. Perhaps it was a little too soon to be having house guests...


	6. Chapter 6

_Chestnut colored locks were scattered across her docile face, hiding half lidded crimson eyes from view. A younger Shizuru stood rigidly in front of a full length mirror, doing her best to keep her own eyes from roaming her nearly naked form. She was clad in only a pair of plain white cotton panties and a matching training bra. Circling around her was a grown up version of herself minus the eyes._

_"As a woman you should have more pride in such things..." Her mother spat, eyes roaming over her daughter, her expression one of disgust. Roughly she pinched Shizuru's sides, tugging the areas around her daughter's waist to further drive her point home. "You've gotten fat." She stated bluntly, a cruel smirk turning the sides of her mouth._

_At the age of ten Shizuru was quite beautiful. She was everything a child her age should have been and then some. Pale skin stretched over lengthy bones and in certain areas muscle showed best such as in her shapely thighs and long legs. Oh yes, Shizuru Fujino was for lack of a better word striking. However in her mother's eyes... She was detestable._

_Crimson eyes watered but never glanced upward. Shizuru could feel her mother's cold stare boring into the back of her head, the reflection of those eyes showed pure hatred. "Are you listening?" Hanako pinched the skin just under Shizuru's ribcage, causing her to yelp and draw back. That earned a vicious back hand to the cheek which sent her spiraling to the floor in a heap. Her mother smirked and turned on her heels, stalking away._

_There had been no food for a solid week, save for what her most trusted servant dared to sneak to her during the night. In that time Shizuru writhed in silent agony inside her bedroom. No solace came, only the rough hands of her mother sizing her up each night._

_"How is it possible you haven't lost anything?" Her mother raged, slapping her harshly across the face, effectively splitting her lip. As the warm crimson stained her chin she looked up, matching eyes with her mother for the first time in years. The older Fujino growled at the defiance and roughly grabbed Shizuru by her shoulders, shoving her back first into the wall. "Spoiled brat!" She spat. _

_"Hanako!" Shizuru's father had just entered the bedroom, closing the distance between himself and his wife in mere seconds. Hanako was grabbed about the wrists and drug away from Shizuru. "Get away from her!" He growled, shoving her out of his daughter's bedroom. With the door slammed he turned and sighed, walking slowly over to Shizuru and offering his chest for her to cry on. However this time no tears came._

In the darkened bedroom Shizuru sat perfectly still in seiza atop her bed. That beautiful tawny hair spilled about her face, framing it and keeping her crimson eyes hidden. Her head seemed to sway ever so slightly as she sniffed the air, delicious aromas filling her nostrils. Was her Natsuki cooking? A faint ghost of a smile tugged the corners of her mouth.

"Natsuki..." That name was nothing more than a whisper caressing her lips as she leaned forward and bowed her head to the bedspread. Underneath the sheets her right hand found her inner thigh and squeezed. Those crimson eyes went dead and she bit her inner lip while razor sharp fingernails dug deeper into her thigh. She drug those nails up the tender flesh slowly, painfully tearing it open with each pass. Soon the red scratches turned to bleeding cuts, spilling red across the inside of her night gown.

A slow gasp passed her lips as she raised herself upright and rolled back the sheets to survey her handiwork. Her head tilted to the side slightly, sending shimmering brunette tendrils across her cheek. She lifted her hand to examine the blood dripping from underneath her nails and that same ghost of a smile flittered across her lips. One finger was brought to her mouth and suckled, followed by the others. One by one each digit was cleaned of the cursed blood she'd drawn from herself.

Keen ears perked at the sound of someone advancing down the hall and Shizuru quickly slipped under the covers once more, closing her eyes just as the door slid open. She felt the bed shift and then someone delicately shake her. There was a beat before she opened her eyes and rolled onto her side, smiling up to the dark haired girl hovering just above. "Are you hungry?" Natsuki asked, brushing a couple strands of hair from the brunette's face. Shizuru pursed her lips cutely and then gave a slight nod of her head before rising with a yawn, making sure to give the appearance she'd been sleeping by rubbing her eyes.

"Good, come on there is a lot of good food waiting." Hand in hand she allowed Natsuki to lead her from the bedroom and toward the kitchen. However once in the doorway her heart clenched in her chest. Two violet eyes were staring at her from the table.

Natsuki turned to look at her when she'd noticed the brunette wasn't following anymore. Standing there a million feelings washed over Shizuru at once but the most noticeable was anger. Her body felt hot, she was sure everyone looking at her could see the flush overcoming her pale skin. Unable to tear her eyes away from Mai's she stared the other girl down for what seemed at eternity. Muscles ached as she fought to make them move... Finally her feet reacted and she bolted back down the hallway.

Quietly she slid the bedroom door shut behind her and leaned against it with a slow sigh. Why had Natsuki allowed someone into her home? Her jaw clenched silently along with her hands which were at her sides. She stepped away from the door and took a seat on the edge of the bed, dropping her head slowly. Wrapping her arms around herself she stared at the floor for a long moment until finally the door slid open and Natsuki walked hesitantly inside the room.

"Shizuru, I'm sorry." She said quietly while advancing toward the brunette. "I shouldn't have surprised you like that." Her voice was soft, soothing, or attempting to be anyway. Natsuki kneeled before Shizuru, concern showing in those beautiful emerald eyes.

The brunette kept her head lowered, not meeting the other's gaze. "Shizuru..." Natsuki repeated softly, regret evident in her voice. Suddenly she was shoved backwards, landing roughly on her ass. She grunted and furrowed her brows. "What the hell!" She yelled while narrowing her eyes toward Shizuru.

With a sigh she picked herself up and went back to Shizuru's side, sitting with her on the edge of the bed. "Alright I deserved that I guess." She conceded with a sigh. "She was only here because there were no groceries in the house. I didn't want to leave you alone and I didn't think you would want to go to the store so... I called her. She even cooked dinner so you wouldn't have to struggle to down one of my experiments!" A light chuckle came from her as she worked to try and ease the tension she could feel about to strangle her.

A hand came up and ran through chestnut colored hair. Shizuru pulled away and turned her head from Natsuki who just sighed and rubbed her temples. "Don't be mad at me..." She murmured softly, she truly couldn't handle it if Shizuru were upset at her. "I know, give me a minute okay?" Natsuki said while quickly walking out of the room.

Shizuru looked up as the bluenette departed and furrowed her brows. From the kitchen there was a lot of noise then a moment later Natsuki appeared in the doorway with a tray in hand. She strolled over to the bed and sat it down in the center, taking up her spot on the edge once more but this time with a gentle smile. Shizuru blinked while crimson eyes scanned the tray. Natsuki had brought her dinner in bed.

"How about a little picnic in bed? Just the two of us." The bluenette said, her smile growing a bit wider. Shizuru licked her lips slowly. The food smelled and looked so very delicious and her stomach was tied in knots from hunger. Reluctantly she gave a slight nod causing Natsuki's smile to grow into a broad, proud grin.

Chopsticks in hand Natsuki scooped up some rice and offered it out to Shizuru who gratefully opened her mouth and allowed the food to enter. It was tasty for being just rice. When the bluenette tried to feed her again Shizuru smiled and shook her head, taking her own pair of chopsticks from the tray.

"Feeling well enough to feed your self huh?" Natsuki said, pouting only slightly. The look made Shizuru's heart leap into her throat but she retained her simple smile and began eating. After a moment Natsuki did the same and they shared a mostly quiet dinner together.

--

"Are you sure you don't need me to help you?" Natsuki asked hesitantly while leaning against the door jamb to the bathroom. Shizuru was seated on the edge of the massive tub letting warm water run across her hands. With a smile she turned and rolled her shoulders, allowing the top of her night gown to slide down just enough so her shoulders and part of her back were showing. Natsuki swallowed as a bright blush enveloped her cheeks. Quickly she high tailed it out of the bathroom, closing the door behind her. "Ah okay, seems you got it!"

Outside Natsuki rubbed her forehead viciously trying to erase the image now burned there. Honestly, why did Shizuru always have to do such inappropriate things? Her nose twitched briefly as she considered the fact it was at least comforting to see have a little of the 'old Shizuru' back for a change. She sighed and decided to keep her mind busy by cleaning up the small mess left over from dinner.

In the bathroom Shizuru's smile had faded quickly and was replaced by a placid, 'not quite there' look. As the warm water continued to fill the tub she slipped from the edge and took a knee beside the porcelain toilet. Her eyes reflected back at her in the rippling water for a long moment as she concentrated on her worn face. It looked like she had aged significantly over the past few months. Her mind barely registered that little fact.

Crimson eyes closed tightly as she leaned forward and heaved up the dinner she'd eaten only half an hour ago. With a sigh she sat back on her heels and wiped her mouth with the back side of her hand, flushing the toilet with the other. Her head throbbed but she refused to acknowledge it as she stood and shrugged off her night gown, letting it pool at her feet. As she went to step into the bath tub she noted the full length mirror behind her and tilted her head. Her thighs were smeared with blood.

_Blood._

She bit the inside corner of her mouth as her body began to tremble slightly.

_Warm... Blood._

A ripple of pleasure rolled through her core and she turned to view her self in the mirror. Lifting a single finger to the glass she traced the outline of her own face while biting down harder into the corner of her mouth. Metallic rust tickled her taste buds and she grimaced at the familiar allure as it swished around her teeth. At once she crumpled to the tiled floor and began sobbing into her hands, a trail of blood glistening from her lip down her chin.

Jerking her head upward she slammed a fist into the mirror, shattering it. Glass fell around her, on her, cutting her flesh in various places. With a growl she lifted one of the pieces and dug it into her thigh, dragging it upward with a bitter cry of agony.

The pain was real.

The pain was something she could relate to.

The pain was everything she deserved for the sins she'd committed.

Her mind screamed these points at her wanting her to always remember what a monster she truly was. She deserved no comfort. Blood leaked from the self-inflicted wound... While it wasn't deep enough to warrant immediate medical attention the brunette now sat in a pool of red. With a ragged breath she looked into the remaining shattered bits of mirror still hanging and examined her cracked face.

There was her true reflection.

It mocked her as it stared back.

The cracked shell of everything she once was.

Grinning at her.

With a distant expression she dipped her fingers into the fresh blood around her thigh and reached up dragging her index finger across the remaining glass. A grin flashed across her lips but only briefly as she stood with a grimace and began painting the wall. Outside the door handle rattled due to Natsuki knocking loudly. "Shizuru, are you alright? Open up!" Louder knocking followed but Shizuru didn't hear a thing. She kept painting.

Natsuki finally managed to get the door unstuck and flung it open, stepping inside. She stopped in her tracks with a gasp. Shizuru was standing naked in front of a shattered mirror covered in blood. Her hair was matted down with the red Substance, her cheeks were crusted over as well and she was... Smiling? Natsuki's brows furrowed as she stepped closer but that was when she noticed the glass shard in her friend's hand.

"Shizuru..." She said softly, extending a hand. "Put that down." Her eyes scanned her friend's body and she grimaced at the large wounds on her thigh. With a sigh she inched closer, wrapping a hand around the glass. That one action seemed to break Shizuru from her trance. She cried out and swung her hand, slicing Natsuki's that had been trying to ease the glass shard away.

"Ah!" Natsuki winced and jumped back, cradling her hand as she looked wide eyed at Shizuru whose chest was heaving. "Shizuru..." The bluenette tried again, breathing out slowly. "Please put that down, it's alright, it's me. Natsuki." She held her hands up, the right smeared with her own blood, and swallowed. Shizuru blinked and tilted her head, furrowing her brows as she caught sight of Natsuki's bleeding hand. A soft whimper passed her lips and the glass shard clattered to the floor. The brunette rushed over and took hold of Natsuki's injured hand, fresh tears springing to her eyes.

"It's alright, really.. It's not bad." Natsuki tried to reason but to her surprise there was a gentle sucking on her hand. Those emerald eyes widened when she noticed Shizuru's luscious lips were around the wound, sucking it clean.

_Sweet._

That was the first thing Shizuru thought when Natsuki's blood touched her tongue. A soft moan crossed her lips at the first taste. It was much more delicious than that of district one's lackeys. A shiver coursed through her as she suckled, matching eyes with the emerald ones now staring intently down at her. To her dismay though, Natsuki gingerly pulled her hand away with a bright blush on her cheeks.

"What did you do?" Natsuki asked softly as her uninjured hand gestured toward the wounds gaping on her friend's thigh. Shizuru looked down at herself and furrowed her brows, a confused look overtaking her face. "Sit, please I need to take care of those..."

Natsuki led Shizuru to the toilet, dropped the lid and sat her friend down careful not to allow her to put too much pressure on the open wounds. She quickly retrieved the now well worn medical kit from the closet and took a knee in front of Shizuru.

Shizuru gasped at the first touch of the antiseptic to her wounds. The reaction caused Natsuki to pull back slightly but with a slight bite of her lip she continued, trying to go about the cleaning as quickly as possibly. She was able to keep the stinging to a minimum by softly blowing a cool stream of air to each affected area. It seemed to calm the brunette, at least for now. With little effort the wounds were bandaged tightly and the night gown Shizuru had previously cast aside was wrapped back around her body.

After her friend had been taken care of Natsuki began putting the supplies back into the small medical kit. To her surprise Shizuru caught her hand and stopped her. Emerald met crimson and for a long moment they shared an intense gaze. Natsuki could feel the kit being pulled from her hands and she looked down, breaking their staring contest. Shizuru delicately took hold of Natsuki's injured hand, turning it over in her own. Sadness overtook those beautiful crimson eyes and it caused emerald to soften.

"I'm fine, really it's nothing serious." Natsuki tried to gently reassure her friend but Shizuru was already wrapping a bandage similar to her own around the injury. The act caused a smile to tug faintly at the corners of Natsuki's mouth. Even now her friend's concern wasn't for herself. From peripherals emerald eyes caught sight of the red smeared across the wall and that's when she furrowed her brows. What the hell had Shizuru been doing?

Natsuki sat back on her heels before rocking upward to her full height with a sigh. Her eyes scanned the walls and the remnants of the broken mirror. Blood smeared out the word "KILLER" across the once light violet surface. "Shizuru..." She breathed out slowly. From the toilet seat Shizuru dipped her head, allowing chestnut bangs to scatter in front of her eyes.

So this was it? Natsuki clenched her jaw involuntarily as her eyes burned into the shattered mirror. Her own eyes reflected the anger coursing through her body.

_"Natsuki... I will always be here to protect you..."_

Words from the past rang through Natsuki's mind.

_"Don't worry; I'll defeat all the other Hime... If there's anything you don't like, I'll take care of it for you, Natsuki. You just watch..."_

Slowly her bottom lip began to quiver slightly, tears welling in the corners of her eyes.

_"I truly am in love... With you."_

The coldness that enveloped her heart was like no other she'd felt before. Something deep inside ached as it tried to twist its way to the surface. What was this feeling? She turned, swiftly taking to her knees in front of Shizuru and grabbing hold of the other girl's hands. Startled, the brunette looked up, eyes widened.

"Shizuru..." Natsuki said, her body trembling slightly. "I'm so sorry..." Her words were simple whispers that danced across her tongue. She felt regret bubbling to the surface but fought hard to suppress the feelings as they began growing stronger. The reality of what she'd put her friend through without even knowing, it had slammed into her full force and it felt like she'd been flattened by a bus.

Her eyes closed slowly as she leaned forward and laid her head in Shizuru's lap. Tears burned the corners of her eyes but she couldn't, no she wouldn't, let Shizuru see her cry. The older girl needed Natsuki to be strong, she knew that. Gentle hands came upon the top of her head and began playing in her dark locks, twirling them between long fingers and letting pieces drop across pale cheeks.

"Oh Natsuki..." Shizuru said in that slow, drawn out fashion. "It seems my actions haven't only damned me..." Regret laced with her words causing her eyes to darken slightly.

Natsuki furrowed her brows but the hands continued playing in her hair, keeping her from lifting her head to match crimson eyes. Shizuru was speaking again... She was... Natsuki swallowed as the brunette continued.

"You said you weren't here out of guilt but I can see it in your eyes." Shizuru ticked her tongue. "Liar."

Emerald eyes widened and Natsuki's heart clenched in her chest. Fingers stilled in her hair and quietly withdrew as Shizuru stood; causing Natsuki to slide back onto her knees and look up. The brunette stood in front of her, head lowered and eyes newly closed.

There was a slight smile at the corner of her mouth. "I knew someone like you could never truly love someone like me..." Slowly her eyes opened half way and focused on the dark haired girl before her. The look that reflected back at her was one of infinite sorrow. Her head tilted and she broadened that smile but only slightly. "How could anyone love a murderer? No. It's only guilt that now binds you to me and that..." She allowed a smirk to grace those plump lips. "That will just never do.."

Murderer.

Shizuru was a murderer.

The truth of that statement slammed into Natsuki's heart, causing her entire chest to tighten. As Shizuru turned to leave the hem of her night gown was caught in Natsuki's hand but she didn't look down at her friend, rather her eyes closed once more and her jaw clenched.

"You're only what I turned you into." Natsuki said quietly under her breath, her own eyes closing. "It was.." She hesitated momentarily but pushed herself onward despite the agony tugging her heart strings. "It is my fault."

A dark laugh filled Natsuki's ears causing her eyes to snap open. She peered upward at Shizuru who had her head thrown back, a broad smile across her lips. The corner of her eye twitched subtly. "You were simply a trigger, Natsuki. You have no idea what burns inside of me..." Her words were dry, without emotion.

Natsuki lifted herself from the floor and grabbed onto Shizuru's shoulders, roughly turning the older girl to face her. "You are not alone, Shizuru!" Her grip tightened causing Shizuru to wince the slightest bit. She eyed the hands on her shoulders before matching crimson with emerald. "You're not the only one who has done things they regret, please... Stop torturing yourself over something none of us had any control over." Natsuki's voice was pleading but it didn't seem to do anything besides further push Shizuru toward the edge she was already teetering on.

"Two hundred and forty seven." Shizuru suddenly said, her teeth bearing in a sudden outburst of rage. Natsuki's brows furrowed and she stepped back, releasing her hold on her friend. Shizuru took a breath and composed herself, lowering her eyes to the ground. For a long moment she silently seethed. "That is how many people I killed. How many people did you kill?" Her head tilted to the side almost as if she was mocking the dark haired Hime. "How many people did Mai kill? What about Mikoto, or Midori? Yukino?" A grin touched upon her lips but it wasn't comforting in the least. No, it was purely terrifying.

Natsuki was sure the blood in her veins had frozen solid with that one look. Emerald eyes widened and she took a step back, breathing out a heavy gasp. Shizuru's brows twitched at the reaction and she chuckled. "I completely annihilated District One." Her voice was soft, barely a whisper as she slowly locked eyes with the dark haired girl. "For you."

"Shizuru..." Natsuki began but Shizuru held up a hand, stopping her before anything else could be said.

"I want to die!" Shizuru cried out, baring her teeth once more as she took a step forward, causing Natsuki to stumble backwards into the broken mirror. "I deserve... to die!" Crimson eyes widened as tears began to fall. That well constructed mask cracked in half. Her shoulders began to tremble, her head dropped and she cried into her hands. "Can't you see..." She said softly through her sobs. "My peace lies in death. Only then can this blackened heart of mine mend.."

Natsuki swallowed the lump in her throat and stepped forward, wrapping her arms around Shizuru and pulling her into a firm embrace. "Let me go!" Shizuru growled as she roughly shoved Natsuki away from her and turned toward the door.

"Stop!" The bluenette cried out, reaching out and grabbing hold of Shizuru's upper arm. "Don't walk away from me, Damnit." She said roughly as she jerked the brunette back into her strong arms. "I'm not going to let you go through this alone... Not again, never... Again."

As she spoke the words there was emptiness inside of her heart that seemed to be growing. It was as if the darkness consuming Shizuru was working its way into her as well. She wasn't sure she had enough strength for this battle but if she could manage to save her friend...

That would suffice.

"Leave Natsuki." Shizuru stated weakly against the dark haired girl's shoulder. Shizuru sighed heavily, her forehead creasing as she furrowed her brows. "Before you're consumed like me." She had seen the darkness working its way into the beautiful biker's once brightly shining eyes. "Leave me..." She whispered and a single tear made its way down her cheek. Exhaustion took hold, strangling her will to remain upright and slowly she succumbed, falling limp into Natsuki's strong embrace.

Natsuki released a breath she hadn't even known she was holding and peered down to the now slumbering girl she held in her arms. With a quiet sniffle she lifted Shizuru best she could and carried her from the bathroom into her bedroom. Carefully the brunette was hoisted onto the bed and covered. Natsuki settled beside her a moment later and ran a hand through her shimmering blue hair. What was she going to do?

Guilt, anger, frustration...

A myriad of emotions gnawed at her gut but none offered any guidance. With a clench of her jaw she steeled herself and straightened on the bed. "I won't leave you." She whispered while running the backside of her hand down her sleeping friend's cheek. "Some how... I will fix this mess I've made." The last part of her promise was a mere whisper. She'd resigned herself to the realization that if not for her... She simply sighed rather than finish that thought.

Yes. This was her responsibility.


	7. Chapter 7

Okay so I felt bad about making all of you wait for chapter six so I decided to work extra hard and get out chapter seven. I hope you find it exceptional lol. In this chapter I wanted to mainly focus on the downward spiral of Natsuki while also revealing a little twist... Enjoy and feel free to comment/review. It's always a welcome thing!

_---_

**Not Easily Washed Away**

_What am I supposed to do..._

_How can I be strong for her when I feel like I can't even be strong for myself? Even now I can feel doubt edging its way into the corners of my mind. This is all my fault after all. I'm responsible for her madness as well as my own._

_Lying here I can't remember the last time I've felt so utterly helpless and at the same time pathetic. I'm beginning to fear that I'm losing myself in this battle for sanity. Was I ever really sane to begin with?_

_I never should have..._

_I never should have brought Shizuru into that..._

_A flood of incoherent thoughts brought me back to **that** time. Back to **that **place. Now I can remember again the last time I felt similar... _

_My mother had died._

_My world had shattered._

_I loved my mother. She was the only constant in my life besides Duran. She treated me like her princess and in turn I worshipped the ground she walked on. I would have done anything for my mother. I would have... Killed for my mother._

_I had killed for my mother._

_The realization washed over my cold body, warming it from the inside out. Fresh tears stung the corners of my eyes as the memories of a childhood long lost to me resurfaced. My hands were also stained with red that could never be washed away. Shizuru was not alone. She was not the only one to bear the weight of being labeled a murderer._

_The word rang through my ears._

_Murderer._

_As I thought harder about it I realized Shizuru and I are quite the pair. She has sinned. I have sinned. We both have killed for the sake of love as well as revenge. The only difference between our sins is the infernal love that flows through her veins for me. She killed for me. I killed her for me. In the end everything was done... For me._

_What had I ever done for her?_

_That lone question provoked my heart to twinge behind its cage. I had never done anything for Shizuru. Up until this point in my life I was a hard edge forged from ice meant for one thing and one thing only. Revenge. She had given herself over to me without a second thought. She had bared her heart, no, her soul to me. Whenever I asked for anything, it was already done. Thinking about it, I never even had to ask. She already knew what I desired and took it upon her self to make my dreams realities. District one and everyone affiliated had been destroyed._

_I don't think that word properly describes the pure anarchy that ensued. Shizuru had ensured every breathing being that bore any ties with that damned company died. Not only did she kill them with her own two hands, she made them suffer. Each and every one of them had begged for their wretched lives till the bitter end. It had been a beautiful thing._

_She was the reaper that I had **knowingly** unleashed unto the lambs._

_Without question she took up the role of my savior and after it was said and done only the two of us remained in that church. I held her and when I did I felt peace like I had never known. Her arms seemed like home. Never... would I reveal that to her. Like a selfish bitch I came to her for answers wanting to see her writhe with hope... But of course I knew she'd fallen so deep into her own despair that she would push me away. I counted on that._

_It was easier that way. If she pushed me away I could blame her for everything that had happened. Maybe then I could finally sleep at night. I made her wear the blood on her hands alone when really... It was both our burden to share. No it should have been only my burden. I used her. More than she ever realized. But that was fine wasn't it? It was then..._

_Now I sit at the reapers door and my soul is burning._

_This deep ache I know will not soon go away. I have made her suffer for far too long and now something must be done. Somewhere inside I know what I must do. It's time, like her, to be selfless and accept the role I have silently created for myself over these years. Without a doubt I am tied to her in this life. I know that whatever waits after this life will tie me to her as well._

_Shizuru soon I will take care of everything. I am the only one who can because after all I was the ringmaster that orchestrated this circus._

_And if in the end I can't save __**us**__ I will at least save __**you**__._

_You deserve so much better than me..._

--

Tawny hair spilled across the pillow and Natsuki touched upon it tenderly. Emerald eyes danced as she let the silk run between her fingers. Shizuru hadn't woken but that was fine... Natsuki hadn't expected her to. On the night stand sat the glass of water she'd given the other girl hours before. Diluted inside of that water was a strong sedative. No... Shizuru wouldn't be awake for a long while yet.

"You're beautiful when you sleep..." Natsuki whispered absentmindedly against the brunette's cheek before nuzzling tenderly against it. There was no reaction from her friend. That was fine too. After all it was only in moments such as this when she was absolutely alone the dark haired girl could find comfort in touching Shizuru without her knowledge. "So peaceful..." Her lips grazed against Shizuru's chin and inwardly she groaned. Those lips lingered a moment longer, eventually pursing to lay a ghost of a kiss upon that delicious skin.

She'd remained awake throughout the night while Shizuru slept. It seemed only fitting to watch over her after what had happened. At some point her sanity began to ebb away though. It seemed the once brilliant emerald eyes weren't nearly as pure as they once had been. Her actions were deliberately slow; her words were drawn out and lazy... She felt... Empty but at the same time filled with an emotion she wasn't quite able to put her finger on.

_**Despair.**_

Her inner voice screamed causing her to wince. Internally she chuckled and ticked her tongue as if to reprimand the voice. "Wait for me." Natsuki said before sliding off of the bed and tugging on her thick biker jacket. With her helmet in one hand she strode into the hallway, sliding the door shut behind her. There were some things she needed to attend to and it wouldn't do to leave Shizuru awake and unattended. She'd ask for forgiveness later.

Roadway tore to shreds underneath the ferocity of the black beast as it sped down the cliff side, dangerously leaning into turn after turn with professional ease. Fiberglass felt cool against the inside of Natsuki's thighs as she squeezed her body to the frame of the bike, trying desperately to become one with the speeding bullet. Her eyes were narrowed, boring into the road that came up quickly in front of her. It wasn't the thrill of the ride that urged her to speed dangerously. A darker purpose pushed her onward this time.

Arriving at her destination in record time she dismounted and took the stairs two at a time until the door to her apartment was swung open. It bounced loudly back at her after impacting the wall behind it but she caught it with her palm and shoved it open once more, this time stepping inside. Quickly she grabbed a pen and paper from the bar top and scribbled a short message, signing her name at the bottom. On top of the paper a single key was left.

In her bedroom she took a long, hard look around at the mess and chuckled to herself. She had accumulated quite an amount of junk over the years. A gaming controller was lifted from the floor and she smiled down at it remembering the fond times she used to have wasting hours of her life defeating the latest video game. How useless it all seemed now. Carelessly the remote was dropped back to the floor and she moved on through the room. She drug finger drug across the top of her paper strewn desk, emerald eyes dancing over the remains of homework that had never been completed.

She'd never been prompt when it came to turning in homework assignments. Too late for such trivial matters now she mentally reminded herself. Her next stop was the unkempt bed. Dark navy blankets were flung mindlessly in a tangle with sheets. She always slept erratically, when she slept at all. From the corner of the room a box was lifted onto the bed and Natsuki began going through several things from her desk, filling it. One of her favorite hoodies sat on top of the pile of useless items when she was done.

"There." She stated flatly. With the box closed up tightly she grabbed a permanent marker from her desk and wrote in big black letters "MAI" then quietly she turned and exited the apartment all together. Producing her cell phone she punched in some numbers and waited.

Like clock work there was a chipper voice on the other end after two rings. "Hello!" Mai said with that ever present smile on her lips.

"Yo..." Natsuki said quietly as she sat atop her motorcycle, keys in the ignition.

Mai pursed her lips. "Hey Natsuki." She wasn't sure how everything had gone down after she'd left the other day. "How's it going?"

Natsuki bit the corner of her mouth. "Do you want to meet me for dinner?" She asked suddenly, ignoring her friend's question all together.

Mai blinked, furrowing her brows. "Uh, sure. Where?"

"There is a restaurant across from the pet shop on Nahaori Boulevard. Can we meet around six thirty?" Natsuki pushed the kick stand up on her bike and balanced the weight with her feet planted firmly on the ground.

"Sure, Natsuki. I'll see you there." Concern was evident in Mai's voice but she didn't want to drag the conversation on.

"Good, see ya." Natsuki hung up her phone before anything else could be said and started the bike, quickly speeding off from the parking lot toward her next destination.

--

The wind blew gently through her long, blue tresses. It shimmered in the dying daylight as she stepped to the edge of the cliff and peered over at the waves crashing onto the rocks below. This was the place. The place her childhood died so long ago. Emerald eyes hazed over with forgotten feelings as gloved hands gripped the sides of the repaired guardrail.

"Mother..." She whispered, dropping her head and allowing her eyes to close. A soft sniffle came from her but she withheld the tears that wanted so badly to spill forth. There were so many things she wanted to say, so many questions left unasked. However as she stood at that cliff she wanted nothing more than to dive over and allow the waves to consume her. This time there wouldn't be a Duran to save her. Well manicured brows creased in frustration and her hold on the railing tightened.

"I'm sorry I couldn't have grown up to be something better than what I am." She murmured quietly as she turned, the barest hint of a tear falling down her cheek. Her Ducati roared to life and she sped off kicking up a dirt trail in her wake. The skies were growing dark and in the distance the ocean swirled in building rage. Once parked she dismounted with ease and swung the heavy door to the restaurant open and strolled inside. She only had to wait a few moments for a tall, lanky gentleman to lead her toward an empty booth.

"Your table, miss." The gentleman said in a slow drawl. Natsuki slid into one side and removed her gloves, tossing them carelessly atop the table. "May I get you something to drink?"

Natsuki licked her dry lips and gave a nod. "Yeah uh, just water is fine actually." Without watching the waiter walk away she picked up the menu he'd left behind and gave it the once over.

"Anything in there look good?" A voice asked causing Natsuki to peek over the top of the menu. She blinked when violet eyes met her own. "You look shocked, you invited me here. Remember?" Mai smirked as she sat down across from Natsuki. About that time the waiter returned and greeted the new occupant at the table while sliding water in front of Natsuki.

"Ah, a guest eh? What can I get you to drink, miss?" He smiled warmly which in turn got a smile from Mai.

"Coffee please." She replied and began scanning the menu she'd been handed. The waiter gave a nod before taking his leave.

"Trying to stunt your growth? Or maybe the growth of only certain body parts..." Natsuki raised a slender brow as Mai blushed and used her menu to shield her overly developed bosoms. This earned her a slight laugh from the dark haired girl.

"Natsuki!" Mai hissed, her cheeks almost rivaling Natsuki's right after a Kaichou tease. "You're so mean." A pout overtook the carrot tops lips. "You invite me to dinner and then you insult me, not very nice."

The curve remained on Natsuki's lip though she returned to reading the menu rather than comment. Their waiter returned and slid a cup of coffee in front of Mai, then pulled out his notepad. "Alright ladies, are you ready to order?"

Natsuki glanced to Mai who gave a nod and then those beautiful emeralds focused on their waiter. "I'll have the pork curry..."

Mai twitched her nose, curry sounded delicious but her mind was already set on something a little simpler. "And I would like the Yakitori with a little extra of the glaze on the side." She offered a friendly smile and handed her menu over. The waiter excused himself once he had both menus. Violet and emerald finally fell on one another. "So Natsuki this was a surprise." Mai commented as she began fixing her coffee with sugar and cream.

"Well I..." Natsuki began but then cleared her throat, looking a little uncomfortable in her chair all of a sudden. "Just needed to clear my head. Got bored with that quickly though and decided maybe hanging out with someone wouldn't be such a bad idea. You could always leave if you don't wan..."

Mai waved a hand, cutting her friend off as she did. "I never said it was a bad thing, Natsuki." She offered a smile. "So... Could this need to clear your head possibly have anything to do with Shizuru's reaction to Mikoto and I being there the other day?"

Natsuki twitched her eyebrows slightly. "She wasn't too happy about that, actually." She felt bad admitting that.

"Well I can understand." Mai said calmly which caused Natsuki's brows to furrow.

"You can?" She asked, her head tilting to one side.

Mai nodded. "Of course I mean... If I was that bad off I don't think I would really want anyone seeing me either." She gave a gentle shrug of her shoulders.

Natsuki bit into her lower lip and nodded as well. Damn things would be easier if she just thought before acting. It's not like she'd meant to get Shizuru upset. It just seemed like a good idea to have Mai help out if she was willing. Hindsight always kicked her in the ass.

"I suppose I see what you mean." The bluenette murmured while fingering the table top, smearing the condensation from her glass across the surface.

Mai raised a brow as she watched the different emotions play across her friend's face. "What's really going on?" She asked suddenly. Natsuki wasn't quite herself... She had noticed that when she'd first seen her upon entering the restaurant. Her friend looked haggard, dark circles were under her eyes and she seemed more unkempt than usual. Something was definitely up besides simple stress from taking care of Shizuru.

Emerald eyes hid behind closed lids for a long moment as Natsuki tried to decide whether she should go into detail about what had really been going on. Would it be breaking Shizuru's trust if she told? She was sure that would be the case. To hell with it. "Shizuru's so lost, Mai." She whispered, biting into her lower lip once again. "She really believes that after all she did during the Festival she deserves to die. That's what she's been trying to do all this time, she's been trying to... Kill her self." She stopped momentarily to register the look of shock on her friend's face.

She sighed, running a hand through her shimmering hair. "I know you would think if she wanted to die so bad she would have just... Done it. However it's deeper than that. Something has a hold over her, I can feel it.

_It's inside of you too..._

Her inner voice decided to pipe up again, causing Natsuki to once again cringe. "Hell, I think sometimes I can see it. Something dark, something sinister... She's been torturing herself for months. Trying to "cleanse" her body of the impurity she's brought upon it as well."

Mai raised a brow. She wasn't quite sure what Natsuki meant when she said "cleanse" herself. "What does that mean exactly?"

Natsuki's eyes glanced to the table, unable to meet the concerned gaze of her friend. "When I first found her she was passed out in the bathroom floor. Her back and shoulders were covered in opened wounds... Gashes, cuts and bleeding sores. When I asked her who was responsible she replied she'd done it to herself."

Mai gasped, bringing a hand to her mouth. "Oh my God..." She whispered shock evident in her voice. Natsuki nodded solemnly. "That's why she had to go to the hospital?"

"Well that in combination with the fact she'd been starving her self. She was practically nothing but skin and bone when I found her. Mai she actually.... Died before the ambulance got to her house that night. She died right in my arms." Natsuki swallowed the lump forming in her throat and fought back the resurgence of memories from that night. Now was neither the place nor the time to break down.

"I just..." Mai clenched her jaw, furrowing her brows deeply. "I can't see Shizuru being like that."

Natsuki gave a nod. She had felt the same way before. Not that long ago she'd always seen Shizuru as a strong individual who could handle anything thrown at her. That was one of the main reasons why Natsuki had chosen her to do those dirty little tasks for her. During the Festival she seemed so sure of her self but after the incident with Yukino she just... Shattered. Like a fragile piece of glass she went into a million pieces.

_But that was your fault, wasn't it? Your hands are just as dirty as Shizuru's... How could you bring her down like that, down to your level? Then again she did all that you wanted, didn't she? All those people she killed... All those people you made her kill. _Her brain screamed at her causing her fists to clench and unclench under the table. One brow twitched but Mai hadn't noticed. She carried on as if an internal war wasn't currently brewing.

"Her wounds are healing but last night she cut her legs up pretty bad and gave me this." Natsuki waved her still bandaged hand, noting Mai's eyes widening ever so slightly. "It's nothing serious but it just goes to show what frame of mind she's in. I don't even think she realized I had been talking to her or the fact she cut me until she saw the blood. It's... Scary, what's happening to her and before I wasn't sure what I could do to help her.

Natsuki trailed off when the waiter began unloading a tray of food before them. She inhaled deeply and smiled, it all smelled so wonderful. They both thanked the waiter and began silently eating. Natsuki didn't want to continue the conversation and ruin both of their meals. Mai, though she wanted to know more, agreed and the pair ate in relative silence.

"You said **before** you weren't sure what you could do to help her." Mai said while pushing her plate away. "Does that mean you know what to do now?"

Natsuki wiped the corners of her mouth and gave a nod while tossing the used napkin over her half empty plate. "I have an idea, yes. I need to make her see that she's not alone in this. We all had a part in what happened during the Festival, not just her." She grimaced remembering something Shizuru had asked before. "You know she asked in comparison to her how many people had I killed. Even more than that she asked how many you killed..." She left the other names out.

Mai blinked. "How many people we killed?" The question brought back a rush of memories she'd worked _very hard_ to seal away. Internally her stomach twisted into knots and she looked away, avoiding eye contact with her friend.

Natsuki sighed. "I didn't answer her but she told me how many deaths she was responsible for. It's quite a contrast from everyone else..." She didn't go into specifics. There was no need for that. "That's why she's stuck in the mindset that she deserves the same fate as her victims. Never mind the fact that they deserved every ounce of pain she inflicted." Emerald flashed dangerously at the last comment and under the table her fists clenched.

Hell yes they had all deserved to burn! Each and every District One son of a bitch got what they had coming to them... Yes, for killing her family, for destroying her childhood. Her brow twitched again, jaw clenched and teeth ground against one another.

Concerned violet's scanned Natsuki's hardened face. She knew how her friend felt about District One and rightfully so. However the venom in Natsuki's voice wasn't like her at all. Normally she was cold yes, nonchalant yes, but never... Mai sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Mai..." Natsuki whispered quietly. "You need to know that I'm not any better than her. It's because of me her hands are stained with blood she can't wash away." Her eyes dimmed as she stared down at the wooden table top. "I made her do it all... I.." She trailed off.

"Please..." Natsuki said after a moment of dazing. "Know that you were the best friend I ever had. Hell Mai... You were the _only_ friend I ever had." She stood from the booth abruptly and wrapped her arms around the carrot top's shoulders hugging her tightly. "Thank you." She said softly against the other girl's ear before releasing her, dropping some money on the table and leaving. Mai watched in silence as Natsuki disappeared through the front doors.

She sat there for a long moment pondering what Natsuki had just said to her._ 'I made her do it all' _what had her friend meant by that? Pressing fingers against her temples she rubbed them roughly. A sudden feeling of helplessness washed over her and outwardly she cringed.

--

Long ago the sun had lost its battle against the encroaching darkness and retreated behind the mountains in the far away distance. The moon was high but was blocked out by heavy rain clouds that approached from the North. It was going to storm soon. In the unkempt backyard a lone figure sat in seiza, head lowered to the fresh smelling earth. Raven hair danced around the figure, blue highlights clearly made visibly by the rays of the moon that would shine down between passing clouds. It was unusual for Natsuki to sit in such a manner. For her it was uncomfortable and she never saw the point.

However tonight was different.

Her eyes bore down into the dirt below, unfocused and unclear. They were darkened by whatever emotion was currently ravaging her still body. Slow unsteady breaths were taken as she sat there otherwise motionless. Something was amiss. While her eyes seemed to show no emotion in particular something was clearly lurking behind them. Ever so often the corners of her mouth would tug into a ghost of a smile and she would internally shiver. Cold air washed over her as the wind picked up, sending leaves circling her body before sweeping them away.

Her eyes closed momentarily and memories of the incident in the bathroom filtered into the forefront of her mind. Shizuru had said Natsuki didn't understand what was inside of her, what... was just under the surface of her skin. She had said that Natsuki was merely a trigger, nothing more. That had been a lie. Natsuki knew what was inside of Shizuru because it was inside of her as well. She had been the bringer of all this destruction after all but the brunette didn't know that, did she? A sigh passed over her cracked lips.

_I knew all about your feelings Shizuru. Of course I never let on about that little fact did I? No... I let you believe that the little looks, the comments, the gestures were all confusing and misunderstood. In reality I knew. I saw the way you looked at me with those longing crimson eyes. When I would lay in bed late at night I would grin thinking about it. I seriously had you wrapped around my finger. Did you honestly think I didn't know you were a Hime? I may pretend to be dense, Shizuru but..._

_All along I was biding my time. I let Nao catch me, let her have her fun all the while knowing I could count on you to show up and rescue me. I knew that you would take care of her for me, just like I knew you would completely annihilate District One. I needn't get my hands dirty when I had you to stain your own for me. Looking back now it really was the perfect plan. I could concentrate on other things while you slowly slipped into madness. In the end everything would be shouldered by you alone and I could move on from this with ease._

_I suppose I didn't count on how deep your love for me truly ran. I never counted on being brought back to your student's home, nor did I plan for Yukino and Haruka to show up. That had been quite a surprise actually. Even more so when I overheard you had... Done things... To me while I was unconscious. What exactly did you do, Shizuru?_

A shiver went through Natsuki's body at the images that suddenly sprang into her mind. Slowly she pulled her self upright and stared up toward the Heavens.

_This has been quite a surprising twist you've added to my story. I thought I had everything figured out, planned so perfectly yet now here I sit questioning myself and my actions. Because of all of this I suddenly find myself feeling regret for what I've done. To think the Ice Queen Natsuki Kuga feels bad for using someone. Oh Shizuru you were so easy to manipulate though... All I had to do was bat my eyelashes and you were eating out of my hand like a love struck puppy._

Natsuki sighed slowly and brought a hand up to cover her eyes. She thought back to the time she first met Shizuru and then the times that followed. Every memory had some ulterior motive behind it. It was quite sad really. Though with Shizuru being such a strong entity Natsuki couldn't have risked not "befriending" her. If she would have had to go head on against Shizuru from the beginning she never would have gotten to District One.

So instead of fighting the powerful brunette she had decided to use Shizuru against her enemies and wait to destroy her last. She'd never cared what happened beyond District One, so Mai could have done whatever she liked as far as Natsuki was concerned. Her true purpose had been realized, District One was gone. Now that she had to deal with the backlash of her abuse.... It was shattering her once stone cold exterior and exposing her weakened core.

Shizuru was in the house. She was lying in bed motionless. Across her back she wore the physical scars of mental anguish and internally she fought with the demons ravaging her mind and ripping her soul to shreds. Sanity was abandoned as she resigned herself to her own prescribed death sentence. Natsuki had tried words, had tried subtle actions to bring Shizuru back from the 'dead' but nothing had breached the wall she had put up around her self.

_I wanted to destroy her because after District One I didn't need her anymore. Her purpose was served as was mine so it was okay to die by her side. It seemed fitting after all. I had my own sins to atone for but then we came back... And now I have to see my handy work first hand. It's all because of me and my actions Shizuru is the way she is now. I drove her insane on purpose. I never imagined it would go as far as it has. Now I am trying to save her when I am the one that damned her to begin with. Maybe the real demon here is me._

A low chuckle came from Natsuki as she ran a hand through her hair then allowed it to spill carelessly across her eyes. Her mind was cracking. The darkness that permeated the area around her was eating its way into her soul and she couldn't stop it. Pain radiated inside of her heart. She brought a hand to rest just above the spot where it thudded loudly and she dropped her head with a grimace. When had she begun to feel for Shizuru? When had using her become second to loving her? Her jaw clenched as hot tears rolled down her cheeks, glowing slightly in the dim moonlight.

She was losing it.

In the beginning she had been so strong, able to withstand anything. Of course she had been shocked when she found Shizuru lying in the bathroom and then her friend actually died. It had been one hell of an experience being in that hospital room waiting to find out if Shizuru would ever wake up again and if she did what type of state she would be in. But now Natsuki sat with the weight of her actions bearing down on her shoulders. She had to stare all she'd done wrong in the eyes and have it judge her right back. It felt like someone was ripping her insides to shreds every time those crimson eyes looked at her.

_I love her. Oh God... I love her__..._

_How could I..._

Natsuki's chest began to rise and fall rapidly and her hands clutched the fabric of her shirt pathetically. She was in love with Shizuru. She'd always been in love with Shizuru. Inside her chest her heart clenched painfully and she winced, allowing her eyes to close. Everything she was belonged to Shizuru. At some point the little 'toy' became a possession and now that possession had control over Natsuki's heart. How had this happened?

_I don't deserve someone like her._

_Look what I did to her..._

_I... I..._

_I..._

_I'm a monster._

Her lips parted and an agonizing scream was let forth. Her muscles tensed as she slammed herself down onto the ground, pounding the dirt with her clenched fists. Regret surged through every fiber of her being as she sobbed, clawing the ground with her short nails. She was no better... No, she was worse. She was the one who deserved to die, no even that was too good for her. Natsuki deserved to endure everything that Shizuru had put herself through and more. After a moment longer her body slumped forward against the ground and she sobbed. From above a rain drop splashed onto her shoulder followed by another and another until it was down pouring.

She laid there hoping the rain would wash her own sins away...


	8. Chapter 8

_So have you realized the twist yet? If not hopefully this chapter will do some clearing up. A lot of 'back history' in this one and probably the next one as well so yeah... Have an idea or guess as to what might go down? Please feel free to write me or leave a comment/review and share your ideas! You should know by now they're all welcome! ;)_

_---_

**Not Easily Washed Away**

_"This thing looks ridiculous on me." Natsuki grumbled, spinning around in front of the full length mirror to check out her new school uniform._

_"Nonsense, you actually look somewhat cute." Yamada grinned at the death glare he received at that comment._

_"To hell with you.." Natsuki growled while adjusting the collar of her uniform. Yamada looked on with pure glee, noting the middle school uniform really did look adorable on the girl. A smirk crossed his lips at his own thoughts, who was he kidding? Behind that 'adorable' exterior was a cold blooded killer. He needed to remember that. "Anyway what kind of school is this? Normal co-ed or all girls?" She asked, not bothering to look up from the buttons she was working on._

_Yamada raised a brow and then began shuffling through some paperwork he held in his right hand. "Fuka Academy is a co-ed school catering to middle school through high school students. It's run by a student council but there is a headmistress which you will meet later today. She wants to welcome you to the school, nat-chan."_

_Emerald eyes flickered as she turned toward Yamada and glowered. "Don't ever call me that again!" She bellowed, her cheeks turning a bit red._

_He blinked and shrugged. "Fine, fine." God this girl had a temper. Then again... He should have known that by now. It had been two years since Natsuki first found him. She was looking for information and he was well known at being able to get just that. For the right price of course. Ever since that night Natsuki had kept greasing his palm for anything he could dig up regarding an organization called District One. As far as he was concerned it was quite a good arrangement. Dangerous, but hey... It paid well._

_"I can't believe I have to do this." Natsuki grumbled, turning toward Yamada and snatching the paperwork out of his hand and scanning over it._

_"Relax; all kids your age are going to school right now. Besides its obvious District One is working behind the scenes with this school some way. You want to find out more about that don't you? Then you need to blend in and that includes going to classes." He smirked when Natsuki groaned at the mention of 'classes'._

_With a sigh she squared her shoulders. "Fine. No problem, I can handle this." She had been a smart kid when she'd attended school before. Straight A's actually and then her life completely turned upside down with the death of her mother. After that incident she'd basically dropped out of school to pursue the people responsible. If getting them meant she had to play the role of school girl again then so be it._

_"Alright I'll drop you off..." Yamada smiled, jingling his keys in his pocket. Natsuki shot him another glare as she swung her backpack over her shoulder and stomped out of the room. With his smile still intact he followed, internally chuckling the entire way._

_--_

_"It's a so nice to meet you Kuga-san, I am Headmistress Mashiro. I am pleased to have you joining our prestigious academy!" The headmistress was a young looking girl in a wheelchair, always followed around by her maid with pink hair. At first glance Natsuki had thought they were both weird but of course she kept her mouth shut about it. She did after all need to make somewhat of a good impression on them. Her scholarship had been based on fake grades on documents from her old school provided by Yamada... For that simple fact she didn't need any unnecessary attention._

_"Thank you Headmistress, I'm grateful to be accepted into Fuka Academy." She bowed her head slightly and slid on a false smile to appease the woman sitting across from her. Internally she grimaced, she hated these little social meet and greets._

_"Now Kuga-san your dorm is on the East side of campus, currently it's unoccupied so you don't have a roommate as of yet." Mashiro tapped her chin._

_"Uh actually I won't need to stay on campus. I have an apartment provided for me just outside of the academy in town." She smiled, dipping her head once again with that same little smile._

_Mashiro's brows furrowed but she simply nodded. It wasn't unheard of for students to live off campus but it wasn't exactly common either. "Well if you need anything please don't hesitate to contact me. Once you get settled in though please direct the majority of your questions or complaints to the Student Council. They are the ones that basically govern the student body so they will be the ones to help you." She smiled warmly causing Natsuki to fidget slightly under the table. She gave a nod though as she stood and took her leave from the smothering office. _

_Once outside Natsuki took a deep breath of the cool spring air and looked around. The campus was normal enough, basically like any other school grounds. Nothing too fancy about the buildings or the sculptures that lined the quad. From her pocket she pulled a slip of paper that had her class schedule typed on it and smirked. Man... She'd forgotten she would actually have to attend class. Inwardly she groaned, sliding the paper back into her pocket. First was History but today she decided the best way to learn about History was to wander the school grounds. Thus she was off... Little explorer.._

_Academics building, academics building, academics building, gymnasium, cafeteria, academics building, quad, library, dojo, surrounding land, forest, dorms, dorms, and more dorms. Natsuki sighed as she looked around. It seemed there was just nothing really exciting about this place. Man she had at least hoped there would be... Her mouth dropped and those emeralds began to shimmer just slightly._

_Across the quad between the dojo and the gymnasium she could clearly see students bouncing off of diving boards straight into a brilliantly gleaming swimming pool. "No way..." She mumbled to herself. Swimming had always been something she loved and with time she became quite good at it. Mentally she made a note to check out the Fuka Swim Team and see if she could weasel her way in. "That would help pass time..." She grinned and began making her way over._

_Later that evening she'd found her self a little lost. For a long while she wandered the pathway she was on until suddenly she stopped, eyes widening. In front of her was a quite beautiful, lush garden. Flowers were everywhere; petals blew delicately in the wind. Some of them even floated through the air on the gentle breeze. It was... Peaceful._

_Quietly she made her way over toward a white gazebo, checking out the vast view from inside. A breath passed over her lips and she ran a hand through her long bluish/black locks, allowing them to scatter in the wind. It was nice here._

_So today was the first day of her admission into Fuka Academy. Thus far she hadn't attended any classes but really.. There was too much to explore to be bothered with sitting in a classroom all day! Natsuki couldn't help but wonder if this new chapter in her life would be better than the last..._

_With a sigh she shook her head while striding over to a line of pretty pink flowers, fingering their leaves. Who was she kidding? She was here at this school to find out more about District One, not to change her life. If anything she was trying to get closure for her life. Those bastards... She ground her teeth unconsciously, her hand tightening around one of the flowers._

_"Please don't do that..."_

_Natsuki spun around quickly at the sound of a honey coated voice obviously speaking to her in some strange accent she couldn't quite place. Emerald eyes widened when they fell upon a beautiful chestnut haired girl staring at her with a sickeningly beautiful smile plastered on her lips. She took a step back, furrowing her brows while the girl across from her just kept on smiling._

_"Flowers are beautiful, because they bloom with all their might in their short lives"_

_The girl continued, brushing some loose bangs from her vibrant crimson eyes. That was when Natsuki noticed them. Those blood red eyes. They were beautiful, the girl was beautiful.. Momentarily her breath hitched as she stared. Where had she seen that girl before? Oh right... Student files she'd looked up thanks to help from Yamada. The girl's name was Shizuru Fujino, quite the sought after beauty of Fuka Academy. _

_Beautiful sure was right... No... Gorgeous... No... Maybe Angelic would be the right way to describe her. Flawless milky flesh, ample bosoms, long legs and that face. Still yet to Natsuki the most beautiful attribute were those eyes. So strange, the coloring... She'd never seen someone with crimson eyes before._

_"Tch, yeah." She muttered a harsh reply before turning her back to the girl. 'Way to go Kuga! Be a bitch to the hottest girl in Fuka!' that inner voice yelled at her but she paid no attention. Why did she care? It wasn't like she was here to make friends!_

_From behind her Shizuru laughed softly at the rudeness, letting it roll right off of her shoulders. "My name is Shizuru Fu..."_

_She didn't have time to finish her introduction before she was interrupted by the dark haired girl. "Yeah Shizuru Fujino, I know who you are." Natsuki rolled her eyes slightly._

_"Ara..." Shizuru smirked as she tapped her chin thoughtfully. "So you know me but I'm afraid I don't know you..." _

_Did this girl want to know her name? Natsuki turned slightly and peered behind her at those twinkling blood colored eyes. They made her shiver on the inside. "N.. Natsuki Kuga." She gave a curt nod and turned back around. _

_Unbeknownst to her Shizuru was inching closer, now standing to the side of her with that same little smile. "Kuga-san, could it be you're new to Fuka Academy?" She again brushed displaced hair from her eyes._

_Natsuki jumped slightly at the girl's sudden closeness. When had she moved there anyway!? She blinked as Shizuru hid a giggle behind her hand. A light blush covered Natsuki's cheeks, now she was being laughed at. Great! "What was your first guess?" She harshly retorted, snorting and crossing her arms over her stomach. Defensive much?_

_Shizuru didn't seem phased by the rudeness, on the contrary she was quite intrigued. Usually she was surrounded by fan girls trying to get her attention any way possible. And she did mean **any way**... Possible. "It could have been the lost look in your eyes..." She replied calmly, gauging the instant reaction from Natsuki who had turned to look at her now, narrowing her emerald eyes._

_"Idiot!" Natsuki stammered out before turning and stomping off leaving a semi wide eyed Shizuru in her wake. _

_"Ara, ara what an interesting girl..." Shizuru grinned to herself as she watched Natsuki disappear from the garden._

_--_

_"Kuga-san...." The teacher rambled off from the list of names in his hand. When there was no reply he looked up from his desk and raised a brow. "Kuga-san?" Those eyes scanned the room full of students and finally fell upon an empty desk. A sigh passed his lips and he adjusted his glasses higher onto his nose while marking a red check mark beside Natsuki's name._

_Out in the cool breeze of the morning Natsuki was sprawled out beneath a tree watching the clouds go by. Technically she should have been in Math but she just couldn't bring her self to deal with such a boring subject so early in the morning. A yawn passed her lips and she rubbed her eyes while sitting up. It had been three months since she began attending Fuka Academy and during that time she'd missed more school than she'd attended._

_That couldn't be helped though. She just... Didn't have the drive for such things anymore. Not since her Mother... Not since... All of that._

_She leaned backwards against the tree and closed her eyes for a brief moment, pushing back memories that suddenly wanted to resurface. No she couldn't deal with those right now. She had much bigger things to worry about. Nothing had happened with District One since her arrival and it was pissing her off to say the very least. Deep inside she knew the information was correct about them having something to do with this school but... What?_

_Yamada had provided her with records and files from her mother's office, things that weren't quite destroyed. They explained the Hime abilities she had but also spoke of others with this same quality. Each Hime would bear a mark somewhere on their body. Thus far though she hadn't seen evidence of any other Hime nor had she been able to find anyone that might have some information._

_Another yawn came from her and she pushed her self up, stretching toward the brilliant blue sky above. It was almost time for gym... At least that was one class she was doing well in. It was rare she skipped out on gym class, it was a great way to release pent up aggression._

_"KUGA!" The hot headed teacher bellowed as she strode in five minutes later than she should have. "This is the third time this week you've been late to my class! What do you have to say for yourself?" Ms. Katayuki sported a black and white windbreaker and a pair of black jogging pants. Her blonde hair was pulled up into a tight ponytail which Natsuki suspected was pulled a little too tight._

_She shrugged her shoulders and dropped her gym bag. "Uh, sorry?" A little smile was flashed but she wasn't getting out of it that easy. The teacher blew her whistle signaling Natsuki to run laps. She groaned but really it didn't bother her that much, she was athletic enough to handle it. Around the track she went after a quick change into her gym clothes._

_Cold water was a welcomed relief as it splashed up across her heated flesh, cooling it almost on contact. Normally she wasn't so worn out after gym but today the teacher had been especially hard on her considering her poor record of getting to class on time. She wiped her face with a towel and leaned backwards against the lockers in the changing room. _

_"Damn teacher has it out for me..." She muttered into the towel with a groan. Her legs were aching but not too terribly, she would be able to manage. The towel was tossed into a nearby hamper and Natsuki began striping out of her sweat soaked gym clothes. Time to take a cool shower and relax... Oh yes, this was going to feel nice. Just as she got her shirt halfway up her stomach something caught her attention._

_"Ara...." _

_Natsuki blinked and slowly turned around to find a blushing Shizuru Fujino standing in the doorway to the changing room. Quickly she tugged her shirt back down, a faint blush on her cheeks. Technically she couldn't get mad at the girl for being there, it was a student changing room and she definitely was not the only student._

_"Hello Kuga-san..."_

_Shizuru said with a smile gracing her plump lips. Natsuki merely nodded and tried to hide slightly behind her locker door as she undressed. Now across from her Shizuru began undressing as well, changing from her school uniform into her once piece purple bathing suit. Natsuki's eyes went a little wide and she instantly turned, shielding her eyes from the visage of perfection getting naked right behind her. _

_Curiosity got the better of her it seemed because she kept sneaking little glances here and there when she was positive the other girl wasn't looking. 'Man she's got a nice body...' Natsuki commented to herself, licking over her suddenly dry lips. 'Wait a minute...' She blinked, furrowing her brows as she turned her head a bit more so she could basically ogle Shizuru's naked body._

_However the show was over much too soon._

_"See something you like?" Shizuru asked, raising a brow as she flipped her perfect hair over her shoulder. So she had noticed she was being stared at? Damn!_

_Natsuki blinked. "Uh... No!" She stammered, tugging on her school uniform top and then skirt quickly. Suddenly she didn't feel much like showering especially with this girl here now! Shizuru raised a finely manicured brow, a smile tugging her lips. Natsuki twitched her nose as a blush consumed all of her face and slammed her locker shut, slinging her bag over her shoulder and rushing quickly out of the changing room._

_"What the fuck!?" She growled upon exiting the changing room. Her cheeks were still flush with her own embarrassment but what was worse... Had that been a Hime mark on Shizuru's side? Natsuki's chest was tight and her breathing was a bit heavy. Surely her eyes had been deceiving her. There was just no way! A million thoughts were running rampant through Natsuki's mind. What if that had been a Hime mark?_

_"Shit... Shit... Shit...!" Her hands laced through her hair and tugged as she made her way toward one of the many academics buildings. She wasn't positive but she was pretty damn sure she'd found a Hime. This was no time to be rash though; she needed to be positive... How could she manage to see Shizuru that naked again and not have it be obvious? She decided then and there that she would tail the crimson eyed girl and find out as much as possible about her... Including where she stayed._

_--_

_"Um Shizuru...." Natsuki asked as she inched her way closer to one of the tables occupied by older students. Crimson eyes blinked up at her and then Shizuru smiled warmly as the other girls at the table glared at the girl who had the nerve to call their beautiful onee-sama by her first name._

_"Ara, hello there Kuga-san." Shizuru noticed the way Natsuki said her name but didn't mind correcting her, she thought it was cute. No one else was brave enough to call her by her first name._

_Natsuki offered a nod. "I was wondering if you could show me around the dorms this evening?" Strange, random request I know but come on! She said to herself while eyeing the girl sitting in front of her._

_"Show you the dorms?" Shizuru echoed, a small smile lighting up her face. The younger girls around her noticed the brightening of her mood due to this new girl and it only furthered their immediate hate for her. "I would be honored."_

_"It's not that big of a deal..." Natsuki said with a flip of her hair, crossing her arms over her chest afterward. "I just.. Well I don't live on campus so I've never made the rounds." Why did she feel the need to give any explanation? _

_Shizuru's smile widened at the cute girl standing before her. There was something about Natsuki that instantly drew her in so any chance at becoming closer to her was something she couldn't pass up. "That's fine; I will meet you by the gardens after the final bell?" Shizuru tilted her head slightly._

_"Sure, I'll be there." Natsuki gave a slight wave before turning and leaving the cafeteria all together. Okay so now she had a date.. Er.. A meeting with Shizuru and would surely be able to get the girl to show her which dorm room was hers. "Alright now I just have to make it through the rest of this damn day..." She muttered under her breath while trudging toward Science class. She couldn't afford to get detention today if she was going to meet up with Shizuru later. Ugh pain in the ass!_

_It was a little chilly that afternoon. Natsuki adjusted her hoodie, wrapping her arms around herself to keep in the warmth. She was standing outside of the gardens waiting for Shizuru to show up. It had been a while after the last bell rang and it was starting to piss Natsuki off that the crimson eyed girl was clearly running behind. 'Perhaps she forgot?' She pursed her lips suddenly feeling a little dejected at the thought. Why would she all of a sudden feel bad about being stood up by that girl? Internally she growled at herself for such a dumb thing._

_"Kuga-san, I'm sorry I kept you waiting." Shizuru suddenly appeared from beside a line of trees, bowing her head slightly._

_Natsuki instantly stood up straight and shook her head toward Shizuru. "No, it's no problem. I haven't been waiting that long." She lied; she'd actually been here ten minutes before the bell had even sounded._

_Shizuru offered an easy smile. "I was held up with Student Council work but allow me to make it up to you by treating you to dinner...." Crimson eyes twinkled._

_"Uh.." Natsuki licked her lips. She was hungry sure but she wasn't too comfortable heading out with this girl considering she could possibly be an enemy. Of course she wasn't positive about that but still... _

_"Please?" Shizuru tilted her head slightly and gave a pout._

_Immediately Natsuki's stomach as well as heart constricted. "Okay, okay just stop making that face!" She waved her hands before shoving them into the pocket of her hoodie._

_She followed beside Shizuru who smiled triumphantly the entire way toward the diner just outside of the campus gates. It was a small little establishment with down home food, nothing complicated. Natsuki sat with a heaping bowl of ramen in front of her while her dinner companion enjoyed a small bowl of miso soup, some tofu, and white rice covered in just a splash of soy sauce._

_"Aren't you going to be hungry later?" Natsuki asked while covering her ramen in a thick white concoction then stirring frantically._

_Shizuru watched her with one brow lifted but didn't bother questioning what the girl was doing. "Why would you think that?" She asked with a curious smile._

_"Because." Natsuki slurped up a mouthful of noodles. "You're eating like a mouse." _

_Crimson eyes twinkled and Shizuru laughed, hiding the curl of her mouth behind her hand. "Kuga-san, you have a little something..." She grinned and with her own napkin wiped away a bit of sauce from Natsuki's mouth._

_Immediately Natsuki flushed red, causing Shizuru's grin to widen tenfold. She took her own napkin and wiped at her mouth furiously before pulling her ramen bowl closer and staring down into it. She looked like a little puppy that'd just been kicked, 'She's so adorable!' Shizuru mentally clapped her hands at the sight. Their meal was relatively quiet besides little conversations here and there about where each of them had come from. Of course she lied about everything but Shizuru didn't need to know that.._

_"So you're on the Student Council?" Natsuki asked, furrowing her brows._

_"Ara, well I do help them." Shizuru replied while she rested her chopsticks atop her rice bowl. She was so damn graceful, Natsuki noticed. It seemed everything she did had an air of elegance to it. How annoying...ly cute her subconscious added on. Aside from her mental note about how cute Shizuru was, Natsuki also stored away the fact that girl was basically on the Student Council. That could come in handy later. Soon they took their leave and returned to campus._

_"The dorms are separated of course; boys are on the West side while girls are on the East side. Normally each student has a roommate but there are some without. That includes me." Shizuru showed off the female dormitories to Natsuki as they walked in the coolness of the night._

_"Why don't you have one?" Natsuki asked curiously._

_"She fell ill and had to return home at the beginning of the year." Lie. It was a lie but Natsuki didn't need to know that, did she? However Shizuru kept that annoying little smile on her lips._

_"Oh." Natsuki twitched her nose._

_Shizuru saw that and cooed on the inside. How cute... "So why doesn't Kuga-san live in the dorms?"_

_Natsuki blinked at how odd it seemed for this girl to be calling her Kuga-san. "Just call me Natsuki, okay?" Shizuru stopped briefly and blinked at the suddenness of the request. "I've never been big on formalities." She shrugged her shoulders which only got a broader smile from Shizuru. "And I don't stay on campus because I have an apartment in the city. It's not a long trek from there to school."_

_"I see." Was all Shizuru said as they continued their mini-tour._

_"So..." Natsuki twitched her nose one more time. "Where do you stay?" She gave Shizuru a sideways glance before looking ahead again._

_Shizuru raised her brows slightly as she looked at Natsuki. Her mouth couldn't hide the smile that was forming there already. Natsuki wanted to know where she stayed. That was interesting... She wondered why but decided not to bother questioning it. After all who was she to question a cute girl that wanted to see her room? No there would be no questions... Well maybe one teasing question... But did that really count?_

_"Ara, Natsuki wants to see my room...?" She teased, narrowing her eyes seductively._

_Red immediately covered the dark haired girl's cheeks as she strode ahead of Shizuru just a little bit. "It's not like that! Pervert.. Geeze.."_

_Shizuru feigned a hurt look and stopped walking all together, placing a hand over her heart. "Mou, now Natsuki thinks me a pervert?" She pouted which made Natsuki immediately turn and try to fix the situation._

_"No, no, no, shit I'm..." Natsuki stammered. It didn't take her long to notice the shimmer in those red eyes and the ghost of a smile on Shizuru's lips masked by her fake pout. Her own emeralds narrowed as she realized she was again being teased. "You're crazy.." She muttered under her breath then they continued on toward Shizuru's dorm room._

_It was in the third building on the second floor. Dorm number 415. Natsuki would easily remember this for the plan she was still conjuring up. "Well thanks for showing me..." She said with a small wave and turned to leave a confused looking Shizuru standing in front of her door._

_"You don't want to come in?" Shizuru asked in somewhat of a saddened tone. Natsuki furrowed her brows and slowly turned. She hadn't planned on staying she had just needed to know where it was!_

_"Uh... Well..." Her lips pursed slightly and she gingerly rubbed the back of her head. "Okay?" Shizuru smiled and opened the door, stepping inside with Natsuki right behind her._

_"Make yourself comfortable, I will make some tea." She offered a smile before disappearing into the kitchen. Natsuki raised her brows and then began looking around as she wandered through the small dorm room. When they'd come in she was already in the living room. There was a small kitchen area where Shizuru had wandered to and there was a hallway leading to what Natsuki assumed was two bedrooms and a bathroom. Perhaps this would be good after all, now she knew the layout of the place._

_A moment later Shizuru returned to the living room with a tea pot and two cups, setting the small tray carrying them on the coffee table. She smoothed out her skirt and sat on the edge of the couch, patting the cushion next to her. Natsuki sat and took the tea cup that was handed to her. "Thanks." She sipped it and though she'd never been big on tea it was quite delicious. Shizuru sat back some and tasted her own seeming to enjoy it much more than Natsuki was._

_"So Kuga.. I mean, Natsuki.." She smiled after correcting herself. "What brings you to Fuka Academy?"_

_Natsuki pondered the question for a moment. "I needed a change of scenery." Now to her credit that wasn't a total lie! Still though it was ridiculously far from the truth. However she couldn't very well say 'Well I'm searching for other girls with this strange mark on their bodies. HEY can I see your body? I mean your mark!' Inwardly she berated her own immaturity._

_"Oh." Shizuru smiled politely. "Are you finding it to your liking thus far?" That accent was quite lovely. Natsuki found that when she heard it the little hairs on her arms and neck would stand at attention. _

_"It's not bad, it's school... But it's not bad." She sipped her tea and leaned back on the couch, making herself a little more comfortable. "I think it's going to get more interesting now though..." She couldn't help but let a little edge come into her voice. _

_Shizuru shivered slightly at the rough tone Natsuki's voice had taken. It sounded dangerously seductive and that was something that lured Shizuru toward her even more. Oh my, was she swooning? No one had made her feel like that before. Almost like a rush of cold water had been dumped over her body. Natsuki Kuga was quite the girl that much was obvious._

_Natsuki easily picked up on the shiver that went up the girl's body. The corners of her mouth turned upward into a somewhat evil grin. So Shizuru might be more useful than previously thought.. Especially if it turned out she was indeed a Hime._

_Oh yes.. This was going to get much more interesting._

_--_

_Dorm 415 was dark now that all the lights were out. Perfect. Silent steps carried the intruder down the narrow hallway and to the first door on the right. Quietly it was opened to reveal a bathroom; the second door was an empty bedroom so that meant the other room had to belong to the sole occupant. _

_Carefully it was opened and the intruder slipped inside without so much as a sound. The figure made its way over to the bed in the middle of the room and surveyed the beauty sleeping soundly under violet covers..._

_For a long moment the intruder simply soaked in the image. Unkempt chestnut colored hair was strewn about the pillows, covers touched tenderly upon pale flesh... Shizuru was beautiful even when she slept. Suddenly a gloved hand clamped down over her mouth and those crimson eyes popped open, staring up in surprise. All she saw was the reflection of her own startled eyes in the mask of a biker helmet. "Mmphff!" She groaned against the hand covering her mouth but it was secure in keeping her complaints muffled._

_"Shh!" The figure hissed harshly while ripping the covers away from Shizuru's body, letting them land in a heap on the floor. Crimson eyes went wide when the figure began tugging her night gown up. She struggled which caused the figure to have to lean into her, pinning her to the mattress._

_What was that... Shizuru's brows furrowed as a familiar scent filled her nose. Confusion washed over her but she stilled against the figure holding her down. The night gown was shoved up over her stomach and then just as abruptly as it had began everything stopped._

_Shizuru's chest heaved, her skin tingled but there was another feeling present too, one she couldn't place. Fear? Obviously but no that wasn't it either. The figure gripped her wrists and held them firmly above her head for a long moment. Shizuru could only guess she was being stared at from behind that biker helmet. She swallowed but to her surprise the figure released her wrists._

_Quickly she pushed her night gown back down and scooted further toward the opposite edge of the bed. Without a word the figure turned and exited the room, leaving out the window it had crawled through. Shizuru sat in her bed silent for a long moment listening to the sounds of her dorm. When she finally felt safe enough she exited to the living room to find the curtains blowing gently in the breeze. The intruder was gone..._

_"She's a Hime..." Natsuki said bitterly to herself for the fifth time since she'd arrived back at her apartment. She was still wearing the dark biker leathers she'd worn as a cover up when she'd broken into Shizuru's dorm. Only thing missing was her helmet. Pacing back and forth in front of her bed her brows furrowed deeply in thought. As she feared the mark on Shizuru's side had really been there and it was a mirror image of her own. A shaky hand ran through her hair as she processed what needed to be done. The most obvious answer was to of course take Shizuru hostage and question her about her involvement with District One. _

_That girl might have answers..._

_She couldn't risk not confronting her about it. Then again what if Shizuru had no idea about that mark? What if she just assumed it was some weird ass birthmark or something? Natsuki sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. Rubbing her temples she sat on the edge of her bed and allowed her head to drop forward. Why was this suddenly bothering her? She knew she had come to Fuka to find more Hime and figure out what District One was up to but here she was having found her first Hime and... She didn't want to capture her. She needed to come up with a plan._

_--_

_**-Fast Forward A Few Years Later...-**_

_Patrolling the streets had become a nightly ritual of sorts. It seemed the lowest of the low always came out after the sun dropped behind the mountains. That was fine; Natsuki didn't mind searching through the darkness if it meant catching her prey. Prey of course consisted of those bastards with District One affiliation or anyone that looked like they might have some sort of information pertaining to._

_From shadow to shadow she hid in silence, keen emerald eyes focusing on the next soon to be victim. He was a solid built man around early forties with black hair that was already turning grey on the sides. His crystal blue eyes seemed inviting. Actually everything about his appearance made him look like a kind gentlemanly type that would lay his coat on the ground for a lady to keep her from walking through a puddle._

_Two gun shots rang out in the distance and a woman dropped dead beside a dumpster in a discreet alleyway. The man tucked his gun back into the inside pocket of his blazer, a smirk turning the corner of his mouth. Natsuki watched from a distance, her eyes narrowing dangerously. So much for a father figure, she snickered to herself. Once the man turned his back that was when Natsuki made her move._

_She gracefully slid down a ladder that led from the fourth story ledge she'd been perched on to the ground and landed in a low crouch behind the man. He turned quickly at the sound of her boots slamming into the asphalt but it was already too late. One heavy leather boot crashed into the side of his head sending him to the damp ground. His gun skidded away from him, stopping in front of the body of the woman he'd just murdered._

_Slowly with a groan he picked himself up from the ground, trying to focus on what had hit him. Natsuki was like a blue streak of lightening through the darkness, her movements were fluid and quick. Before the man had a second to defend himself he was sprawled out on his back, nose busted and leaking red. "What the fuck!" He screamed, rolling over onto his side and pushing himself up to his knees._

_There was the feeling of something cool against the back of his neck and he froze eyes wide. Emerald eyes shimmered from behind him, a smile curling the sides of plump lips. "I wouldn't move if I were you..." Natsuki said in a husky voice._

_"Who the fuck..." He started to ask but shut his mouth the second he heard a hammer click back. The cold sensation pressing into the back of his neck was the barrel of his gun and it had just been cocked. "What do you want?" His eyes narrowed and he swallowed, trying to remain calm. How was it he was on the receiving end of his own pistol now? What the hell had happened!?_

_"I want answers. I know you work for District One." Natsuki smirked at the little noise the man made. "Where can I find their headquarters?"_

_"Are you insane? Like I would tell you that!" The man chuckled, shaking his head slightly from side to side._

_Natsuki ticked her tongue and pressed the gun deeper into the fold of the man's neck causing him to cringe. "Would you rather die?" She asked, growling._

_"They will kill me anyway." He replied. That was true enough. Then again Natsuki never had any intention of letting him walk away, information supplied or not._

_"Then I suppose me taking out the trash for them won't matter, will it?" She asked. A single shot rang out, splitting the silence cleanly in half along with the man's head. He slumped forward motionless on the ground. Natsuki smirked as she tossed the gun from her gloved hand onto the ground beside the woman the man had killed earlier then bent down to check his pockets. There was a wallet which she took, some receipts that she didn't bother with and then... Jackpot. Inside the coat he wore was a small yellow envelope. With any luck it would contain some valuable information she could use._

_With a quick look around to make sure no one had been watching she exited the alleyway via the same method she'd made her entrance... Up above the city streets on the rooftops. One by one she scaled the buildings until she was nearly back to her own apartment. In the pocket of her biker jacket the yellow envelope seemed to be burning a hole so rather than wait she stopped halfway to her apartment and tore into it. Emeralds scanned the letter inside along with diagrams that had been drawn out. It was information regarding the building in which her mother had worked. Rooms were clearly marked with what they might contain._

_A smirk graced her lips... Bingo._

_--_

_It had been almost a month since the incident on the ferry involving that strange yellow eyed girl and her violet eyed friend. Natsuki had learned one was going to be a student at Fuka and tried to stop her arrival... That was when she found out the violet eyed girl was also going to Fuka and that both of them were Hime. After the tiring battle with the yellow eyed girl Natsuki had made her escape thanks to Yamada via speed boat and was back at her apartment seething. More Hime had finally arrived. Now including herself and Shizuru that made four on Fuka grounds, which could be a problem._

_It had been quite a while since the appearance of a Hime. Natsuki had found out about Shizuru her first year of middle school and now they were both in high school. She had decided to befriend Shizuru rather than bust her up for answers. For the time being the girl didn't seem like a threat but now with these two new Hime things could change. She needed to be ready for that change..._

_However as time progressed she found herself bumping into Mai more often than not. Of course whenever Mai was around Mikoto was following... It had turned out to be quite troublesome indeed (especially considering the little Orphan fight that resulting in all of her lingerie being destroyed!). Come to think of it why had Mai even helped her then? At some point something started to change. Natsuki began getting to know the two of them and somewhere along the line... She'd begun trusting them the slightest bit. That was a shocker in its self considering the Ice Queen trusted NO ONE. Needless to say the realization of her own feelings toward the two new Hime's caused many sleepless nights. Maybe it would be okay... Maybe... Those two wouldn't get in the way. Perhaps they could even turn out useful to her in the end._

_Heh. Always thinking about different ways to use and manipulate.. Damn Kuga._

_It was nightfall... Finally she had been able to slip out and planned on using the information she'd gathered from the goon she'd killed a while back to her advantage. All she needed was a boat and a little luck. Quietly she had made it almost to the docks but midway she was stopped by Takeda, that idiot! And then there was Mai.. Who confronted her about her awkward moment with the spiky haired freak. She ended up having to take Mai with her across the lake and as if there weren't enough distractions Mikoto showed up to tag along as well._

_At least the trip hadn't been a wasted effort; she'd managed to get hold of some information. Hopefully Yamada could help her out with it later. Thanks to her new hook up with _Sakomizu-sensei she also had insight on District One's involvement with Fuka Academy. Oh and also thanks to Sakomizu-sensei all three of them hadn't ended up in jail that night.

That aside Yamada had been able to help her by cluing her in that the information she'd found was a bank account linked to two high profile corporations one was a pharmaceutical company and the other was something called the SEARRS Foundation. Both sounded oddly suspicious so she'd decided to do some research on her own. Why pay Yamada for things she could easily look up herself?

_The door to the Student Council room slid open and a pair of crimson eyes came to rest on a busy biker typing away on a laptop. Shizuru blinked, raising a brow as Natsuki looked up to see who was coming in. They both exchanged a smile while Shizuru closed the door behind her and walked over, situating herself beside Natsuki. "Well this is a surprise."_

_"Hey Shizuru.. I needed to use this, I hope you don't mind." Natsuki began typing again, dipping her head slightly to hide the smirk tugging her lips. She knew Shizuru would show up about this time. Perfect. These little encounters always proved beneficial. Well to her at least... For about three months now Shizuru had been slipping up more and more. The little looks, touches, careless caresses, oh yes.. She was letting her feelings show. Of course Natsuki played it off by pretending to be clueless. A little blush here, a well timed growl, now and again screaming out 'idiot!' and bolting... Heh, too easy._

_Shizuru gave a subtle shrug. "Not at all, anything I can help you with?" She offered like she always did._

_"Not really, I don't want to get you involved." Natsuki flashed a 'caring' smile. 'At least not yet, but wait because soon you'll be more helpful to me than you could have ever imagined.'_

_Shizuru sighed. There was the typical answer she had been waiting for. Natsuki never gave her the chance to be helpful aside from allowing her access to the schools database and free use of the laptop. It somewhat bothered her that in all the time they'd been friends it was a rare occurrence she was ever allowed a glimpse into Natsuki's life. For friends they really knew nothing but the basics about one another. It wasn't for her lack of trying that was for sure! At every turn Shizuru went out of her way to invite the bluenette out places or ask her over for dinner... Each time she was shot down. _

_But then randomly Natsuki would invite her out for the same types of things.... Of course Shizuru would go, who was she to decline that type of offer? Still yet she hadn't even seen Natsuki's apartment but the bluenette had been over to her dorm room many times. The one time she'd asked about it Natsuki just shrugged and told her it was a wreck and she didn't like bringing people over._

_That seemed logical enough but still... There was something mysterious about Natsuki and the way she carried herself through the time they'd known one another. Shizuru's brows creased slightly as she stood there lost in her own little world. Finally the sound of snapping fingers brought her back and she offered an apologetic smile toward Natsuki who was standing and looking at her with a questioning expression._

_"Sorry Natsuki..." She bowed her head the slightest bit._

_"No worries, hey thanks for letting me use that." Natsuki hooked her thumb toward the laptop before turning on her heels and heading for the door. _

_"Leaving already?" Shizuru asked in that teasing tone, a pout evident on those luscious lips. She'd only just arrived and it had been the first time in three days she had been able to talk to Natsuki privately. Inwardly she sighed._

_Natsuki smirked slightly and turned back toward the other girl. "I'll see you later, Shizuru." With that she left the brunette there to pout even more. Natsuki always teased her like that. She'd be there for a brief moment and then vanish. It drove Shizuru crazy. The tawny haired girl took a seat behind the desk and sighed while brushing her bangs out of her eyes. At some point during their friendship Shizuru had developed.... Feelings for Natsuki. Feelings hell, she was falling in love with Natsuki more like it!_

_Her brows furrowed as she tried to figure out how it had all happened. One day they were friends, though it wasn't often they got to see one another. Natsuki was always running around doing things late into the night. She was curious as to what those things were but never asked. She didn't want to pry. Not like Natsuki would have told her if she asked anyway. However now her feelings were much more than those of a strong friendship... That was... Complicated to say the least. Never mind the fact that Natsuki was a girl. That never really crossed Shizuru's mind._

_How could she have helped it? Natsuki was so beautiful... Not to mention her "bad girl"/"Rebel" image she'd worked quite hard to attain. Even still all of that aside there was something else about her that Shizuru just couldn't put her finger on. The more time she was allowed to spend with Natsuki the harder she was falling. She hadn't mentioned any of this to her of course... How could she? Surely the other girl would think it was utterly disgusting. She couldn't handle it if Natsuki were to shun her. Not for something like that. Her heart constricted and she tapped the place just above it, sighing heavily once again._

_"Oh Natsuki..."_

_On the opposite side of the door Natsuki pulled her ear away and smirked. Oh yes things were going according to plan alright. It seemed she had Shizuru headed in the right direction which would make things a lot easier on down the road. Or so she hoped anyway. As she turned she bumped into Haruka, head of the Executive Committee and stepped back. _

_"Sorry." She muttered and then walked on down the hall, exiting the building all together. "Bumbling girl!" Haruka growled out as she slammed open the door to the Student Council room, her eyes immediately falling on a forlorn looking Shizuru. She stepped in and behind her followed the mousy assistant.. Yukino. "You're here early." Haruka snickered as she tossed her bag down beside one of the desks._

_Shizuru had barely registered the door slamming open but now that Haruka and Yukino were there her normal coy smile replaced her confused expression and she sat up straighter. The laptop was closed without a glance as she focused on the two girls. "Hm,.. Am I?" A subtle smirk crossed her lips, something that always had irritated Haruka. Shizuru knew that and used it against the blonde girl as much as possible._

_However today she didn't feel like keeping up with the normal teasing banter with Haruka. Something else was on her mind or rather someone else really. Ignoring the two girls she stared out the window, one hand tucked against her cheek. Crimson eyes were half lidded as thoughts of the emerald eyed beauty drifted through her mind. _

_Natsuki..._


	9. Chapter 9

Alright so this is chapter nine... Whaaaat? Nine already!? Gah.. Doesn't seem like I should be that far into this story yet lol. Well anyway I'm sure no one is complaining! This chapter like last chapter deals with past events. Don't worry; revealing the development is fun so just embrace it already! ;) I hope you guys enjoy! I will update again soon. -- Hm okay.. Well some things messed up in the document transfer so I re-uploaded this after fixing everything that I saw. Eek, dunno what happened but oh well I think it's taken care of now!

_---_

**Not Easily Washed Away**

_Where do you go when you're gone?_

_I've seen you leaving early in the evening and not returning until the wee hours of morning. Stalking? No... I just happened to notice these things over the course of our friendship. How do I know these things? Oh that's right you don't live on campus do you? Well sometimes I do watch you from a secluded spot by your apartment complex. But... That's not stalking, right? I just worry about you, that's all._

_So Natsuki... Where do you go when you're gone?_

_Shizuru sat patiently shrouded in the darkness, keen red eyes watching the front of the apartment complex. It was eight thirty in the evening and just like all the times before the front door opened and out walked Natsuki Kuga. She looked striking as usual in her dark biker suit. The sight caused butterflies to appear in Shizuru's stomach each time. Challenging emerald eyes surveyed the darkness before the Ducati she'd mounted came to life with a roar. She gunned the engine and sped off leaving the scent of burnt rubber in her wake. _

_Shizuru smirked. Something about that bad girl biker made her heart thud behind her rib cage. "Alright Nat..su..ki... Let's see where you end up tonight." Shizuru licked her lips and backed into the darkness, allowing it to engulf her once more. Only the vivid red eyes were visible until in a flash those were gone as well._

_"Stupid bitch...!" The man howled, cradling his newly broken arm against his chest while inching backwards from the alleyway. _

_"Strong words for someone getting their ass kicked." Natsuki hissed, edging closer to the man with a pistol in either of her hands. She wore a wicked little smirk as she advanced, clearly enjoying this little game._

_He growled from behind clenched teeth. It was annoying that he could taste blood in his mouth... No doubt from one of the many vicious attacks this girl had sent his way. "What the hell do you want?" He finally asked._

_"I want what you know about District One." Natsuki chuckled as the man's back came to rest against the brick wall of one of the buildings they were between. Fear was evident in his eyes though he tried his best to hide it. She was used to seeking that out in her victims, no one could hide that look from her._

_"District One? I have no idea what you're talking about." He snorted, shaking his head._

_Natsuki's smirk widened and she ticked her tongue. "Wrong answer." She said, firing one ice bullet right beside the man's head. Concrete and mortar chipped from the wall causing him to duck with a squeal. "The next time I won't miss." Her tone was daring him to lie..._

_The man swallowed, his throat was so dry now he could barely formulate words. Shaking slightly he righted himself and held up the hand attached to his unbroken arm. "Okay, okay.. Look I'm just a messenger lady I don't know any details!" _

_"Well that's too bad for you now isn't it?" Emerald eyes flashed dangerously and she raised her pistols, taking aim on the now begging man. It was always so pathetic when they begged.._

_"Wait! Damnit, wait! He... Here..." He produced a sealed brown envelope from his jacket and tossed it onto the ground in front of Natsuki. "That is what I was asked to deliver. I have no idea what's inside but I overheard some of the higher ups mentioning something about Fuka take over plans. They're looking for something; I think it might have something to do with students." He whimpered, sweat dripping down his forehead._

_A slow smile spread across Natsuki's mouth. Now that was more like it, solid information of District One's involvement with the shit going down at Fuka. She bent down to grab the envelope but never took her eyes off of the man in front of her. Too bad she hadn't heard the one sneaking up from behind..._

_**CRACK!**_

_Her vision bloomed white as she crumpled forward with a groan, pistols both disappearing from her hands in a flash of blue light. The man against the wall stared wide-eyed as his captor fell flat on her face in the damp street. Looking up he saw the man he was supposed to deliver that envelope to standing behind the girl with a pipe in his hand. _

_"What the hell are you doing?" He asked himself while dropping the pipe and scooping up the envelope. The man against the wall sighed in relief and began to step forward... His eyes widened slightly though and he stumbled back, groaning as a silenced bullet pierced his chest._

_"You think those idiots at District One could at least have someone worthy deliver this shit." The man hid his gun back in the folds of his suit jacket along with the newly acquired envelope. Blue eyes shimmered as they focused on the girl's body in front of him. She was beginning to move, trying to pick her self up off of the ground. "So you're awake already?" He smirked and strode over, lifting her to her feet and shoving her backwards until her back was against the building wall._

_"Who are you and what did you want with this information, girl?" He asked as he gripped Natsuki's throat to keep her standing. She winced, eyes widening as she tried to focus on what was happening. The knock to her head really sent her out of it.. She was still seeing blooms of color behind her eyes. The man chuckled darkly and began undoing his belt buckle. "If you're not going to give me information willingly maybe I can get it out of you another way." His eyes gleamed at the sound of his own zipper coming down. Natsuki grimaced, trying to pull herself together enough to get out of this mess._

_She could feel his hot breath on her neck as he slobbered messy kisses along the tender flesh, biting and nipping. A groan came from her. She tried kneeing him but he was too close for her to get a worth while shot in. "Oh come on, don't fight." He said between rough kisses. Panic began to set in as she struggled fiercely, trying any tactic she could think of to get him away from her. The front of her biker suit was slowly being unzipped, cool night air causing her skin to prickle. "Mmm,..." He nuzzled against her._

_Just as his hand reached inside to grip one of her breasts he suddenly went limp against her. Natsuki's green eyes widened and she pushed him backwards watching as his heavy body thudded dully against the wet ground. Quickly she looked around for the cause of his sudden unconsciousness but there was... No one else around. She blinked and hurriedly zipped up her biker suit. Quickly the envelope was retrieved from the inside of his jacket and stuffed into her pocket then she rushed out of the alley toward her hidden motorcycle._

_Vermillion eyes watched the biker flee the scene, waiting until she was far enough out of sight before walking into the alleyway. Shizuru wore a slight smirk upon full lips while trying to register all that had just taken place. What the hell was Natsuki into? Had she... Really planned on killing that one man if he didn't hand over information? A slow sigh passed her lips. Of course Natsuki would have killed him. That much was quite obvious in the look in those beautiful emerald eyes. Shizuru needed to think. Without hesitation she took her leave from the alley and headed in the direction of the one place she knew she could find solitude. Her home._

_On the breeze her voice carried that sweet Kyoto-ben..._

_**Kiyohime.**_

_She whispered and then vanished._

_--_

_Dancing was an intimate art form._

_This particular art form always interested Shizuru Fujino._

_Her moves were more fluid and graceful than any dancer._

_However no partner rested in her arms._

_She only danced with swords._

_The room was dim with only a few candles to keep back the darkness. The tiny flames flickered wildly against the light green walls and the bamboo colored floor sending shadows this way and that. Inside the immense space various mats lined the floors; at the far end was a massive statue of several Samurai Warriors doing battle with one another. Around the statue was a bubbling pond in which swam several white koi, breaking the surface ever so often in search of food. Toward the middle of the room was a lone figure moving swiftly in what seemed to be a choreographed trance._

_Elegantly she performed the solo dance, step after step made graceful by her flawless form. She had this particular Kata perfected. It was one she regularly used when training alone. The steel of the long blade she held sliced through the air precisely with each smooth motion and turn. Weaving through the intricacies of the Kata she seemed quite at ease. Those crimson eyes were closed the entire time. She twisted her lithe body around, cutting sideways with the Katana and then jerking it upward cleanly. If the air were an enemy it would have been cut in half with minimal effort._

_So Natsuki **was** a Hime..._

_That was quite an interesting development to say the very least. Of course Shizuru had her suspicions over the years... But what did Natsuki want as far as District One was concerned? Yes. Shizuru knew about District One. She was after all a Hime and quite a powerful one at that. She had done her homework years ago in order to figure out the origin of her own mysterious powers. However she'd never felt the need to outright chase down the people behind the scenes. To her it was more important to remain hidden in the shadows when it came to her abilities. After all she had no idea what District One would do to her should they find out..._

_Why did Natsuki want to find them so badly? Shizuru's crimson eyes opened and focused on the sword she held between her hands. So this was why her friend was so secretive. Such a thought had never crossed her mind. She had always figured Natsuki simply liked her privacy but this... This was a shock._

_A thought crossed her mind causing her brows to crease slightly. If Natsuki were also a Hime... How many other girls at their school could also be potential Hime? She ticked her tongue quietly as the gears in her head began turning. They could also be a threat, couldn't they?_

_Wait.. Also a threat? Natsuki wasn't a threat..._

_Was she?_

_Shizuru furrowed her brows deeply, sheathing the sword and setting it aside. That thought was ridiculous. She shook her head, smiling gently. Surely there was nothing to fear from Natsuki being a Hime,... They were friends after all, were they not? Of course they were! Shizuru chuckled to her self and began untying the obi holding the black Uwa-gi on her upper half. It was shrugged off and folded neatly before being placed at her feet._

_With that off she was left clad only in her white zubon and a black sports bra. Her body was quite the thing to admire... She had spent years sculpting it. Of course martial arts played a big role in her 'development'. Reaching toward the sky she stretched her long arms then bent forward to loosen her back, sliding down into the splits a moment later to ensure her lower half was also properly stretched. _

_Slowly she rose from the ground and sighed. There were too many thoughts running through her head making it insanely difficult to plan a course of action. While massaging her worn shoulders she strode toward the bathroom thinking a hot shower might ease her nerves even if just slightly. _

_Her head fell forward sending long, slick tendrils across the front of her shoulders. Soaked bangs scattered across her forehead, hiding those crimson eyes from sight. The hot water bit into her shoulders and back, rolling in beads down that lithe, sculpted body. It felt nice. Her hands pressed into the cool tile in front of her as she leaned forward, allowing the water to penetrate deeply into those achy muscles. _

_All of the raging thoughts bidding her brain to scream in frustration seemed to focus on the blue haired girl..._

_She sighed and ran a hand through the wet mop that was her hair, pushing it from her eyes. Her attention focused momentarily on the beads of water rolling down between the cracks of the tile. How had her feelings come to this? Shizuru scanned her memory for any indication as to when she'd began falling for Natsuki._

_There first meeting came up first. That girl had been so rude... She smiled at the memory, shaking her head slowly. After the first meeting there was plenty of times they'd seen one another on campus. Then that day in the locker room when she'd seen a glimpse of the beautiful, sculpted body the biker usually kept hidden. A light blush tinted her cheeks at remembering how her heart had sped up at the mere sight. It was ridiculous, wasn't it? No one had ever made her feel so... Alive by doing nothing at all._

_Suddenly a slow smile crossed over those perfectly plump lips. Another memory came to mind, one that made her body shiver at the very core. The night the intruder had broken into her dorm room. Oh that had been quite a frightening experience! Having someone clamp a hand over your mouth and wake you from a dead sleep. However it had taken only a few moments before the lingering scent of fresh earth mixed with lavender permeated her senses. That leather clad intruder had been Natsuki. She knew that but hadn't dared to question the other girl about it. What had she been looking for that night? Shizuru smirked knowing fully now that the biker had been searching for her mark. So she knew then, that Shizuru was a Hime? If so she hadn't said anything..._

_Shizuru licked at her lips, gliding that pink appendage across silken wet tiers. Tenderly she bit into the bottom one and sucked against it, savoring the taste of water mixed with a hint of her own blood. _

_Natsuki..._

_A slow sigh came from her as one hand moved from the wall and ran the length of her stomach. She played over the muscles there causing them to contract slightly. A shiver passed over her pale flesh and her hand dipped lower before finally disappearing between her thighs. She bit into her lip a little harder at the first feel of those fingers stroking her most intimate place. It had been quite a while since she'd given in to the more primal desires..._

_Images of the dark haired biker flashed through her mind like lightening causing her touches to gain speed. A soft moan passed her lips, echoing softly off of the tile walls surrounding her. This was pure torture but God did it feel good.._

_Natsuki..._

_She whimpered at the thought of the rebel biker being the one to touch her. Internally she quivered at the mere idea! She could imagine those long fingers stoking her desire, bringing her up the heights of ecstasy and then sending her crashing over the edge into complete and utter oblivion. Her stomach tightened as a wave of heat engulfed her body. A long moan erupted from her throat and liquid fire coated her fingers. Panting she knelt to the floor, resting her forehead against the wall in front of her. Her body shivered from the aftershocks of her own teasing. For a long moment she remained in that position... Two things clear in her mind._

_1. She needed to protect Natsuki whatever the cost._

_2. She needed to figure out who else shared their unique abilities._

_--_

_**-Fast Forward One Week-**_

_Natsuki's back hit the wall, random strands of black/blue silk sticking to her sweat soaked forehead. Her chest rapidly pulled air into her screaming lungs but she had no time to catch her breath... Not now. Without another moment of hesitation she pushed off from the wall and spun around into the open, both pistols blazing. Several men in black suits dropped, their weapons clattering to the stone floor. Emerald eyes flashed dangerously as she ran forward and rolled behind another pillar, just barely dodging a barrage of bullets spraying the structure she now hid behind._

_"Fuck!" She howled when a stray bullet chipped through the side of the pillar and skimmed the upper part of her right arm. Heat radiated through the appendage but she couldn't stop, if she stopped she was dead. Fighting through the pain crippling her arm she shot out from behind the pillar, her body a mere blur as a defensive wave of bullets sprayed from her guns. Several more men dropped when she broke through their line using her body as a battering ram to send them sprawling this way and that._

_"Someone fucking stop her!" One of the men screamed, clearly enraged that his entire battalion was being obliterated by a single female with only two pistols. A vicious wave of bullets ate through the building; they were taking out their own men trying to get to her. It clearly showed how desperate they were. Natsuki tucked and rolled, coming up in a low crouch and firing controlled bursts at her attackers. She was making them drop like flies. The entire time a smug smirk could clearly be seen etched across her lips._

_Suddenly an elevator opened behind the remaining men dressed in suites and out marched a group of men in military uniforms. Her smirk instantly faded and her mouth fell open the slightest bit. The game had just changed and not in her favor..._

_Emerald eyes focused on the new group of soldiers, there were at least twenty. She couldn't even hope to make a clean escape from this, but maybe just maybe she could at least make it out with her life. Fatigue clawed at her from the inside. She was running on pure adrenaline right now but the high was amazing. She pushed up from the crouch and took off in a dead run toward a staircase that would lead her up to the second floor where the files she'd been looking for could be found. "Don't let her get away!" The same man yelled, clearly he was in charge of the group of soldiers that had been "guarding" this building._

_This time rifle fire erupted, tearing through the staircase as Natsuki breathlessly climbed. Every muscle in her body ached but she struggled on, leaping forward over the last two steps and rolling onto the second floor. Behind her she could hear the men rushing the stairs. Emerald eyes scanned the hallway in confusion. What room? What fucking room! She scrambled to her feet and began checking each and every door._

_Locked._

_Locked._

_Locked._

_FUCK!_

_She screamed in frustration, turning to look over her shoulder as the soldiers stormed the second floor. Ice bullets ate into one of the doors but there was no time... She rammed her shoulder into the steel structure once and then again. Thankfully it shifted and she fell through, landing in a heap against one of the desks inside of the office. The blow knocked all breath from her lungs, it felt like something shifted and that couldn't have been a good sign. With a gasp she fought to get her legs working but they were like rubber. Files be damned, she had to get out of here!_

_"Get her!" Someone yelled from the hallway. She didn't waste time looking... With her last bit of strength she threw herself into a run but where was she going? There was nothing but glass pane in front of her but she had no choice, they weren't going to capture her. With her face shielded she dove straight through the glass, expecting to be falling through the other side of the building. To her surprise she landed hard against... Floor? It was a double sided room! Her eyes widened. Ignoring the various shards stabbing into her flesh she jumped from her feet and surveyed her surroundings._

_A door._

_She grabbed the handle and pushed it open. _

_A staircase._

_Relief flooded her body and she took to the stairs, heading down. She could hear the soldiers gaining ground behind her but she didn't dare look back. Leaping over the railing she saved time avoiding the last row of steps and broke through another door. Just as her body slammed into the door forcing it open something searing hot ate into her shoulder, jerking her forward into a rather large garage. She fell in a heap on hard concrete, a strangled cry erupting from behind her lips. Her eyes clenched shut, God damn that had hurt! Blood poured from the wound inflicted by what was no doubt a high caliber rifle. With her good arm she attempted to push herself up but her body was exhausted. _

_Another cry came from her; she could hear them coming from behind. Another second and they would be right on atop of her. Again she tried to push herself up but her vision blurred and nausea rippled throughout her stomach. This was it. It was all over. Mentally her brain screamed for her to get up but her body just couldn't respond. 'Get up! Damnit! Get up!!'_

_Just as darkness began to invade the corners of her eyes the floor around her exploded into pieces. The sound reverberated through her skull, rattling her brain and effectively blurring all of her senses. She quickly covered her head as chunks of concrete and rebar rained from the heavens. Her eyes shut tightly, what the fuck had just happened!? From behind her location she could hear the soldiers screaming, their guns opening fire on whatever had surprised them. Smoke and fire engulfed the garage. Natsuki tried crawling forward, inching away from the madness ensuing behind her._

_The screams became muffled as her breathing increased, it was ragged and shallow at best... Her vision ebbed, eventually failing all together. Finally she collapsed forward onto the cold concrete, unconscious but she would swear before darkness consumed her she saw a flash of crimson._

_--_

_"Where... Am I?"_

_"You're safe."_

_"Who... Are you?"_

_"...Someone who cares about you."_

_"Why? I'm nothing special..."_

_"Rest now."_

_Darkness remained a constant companion. Time seemed to pass by slowly but then again it could have been quickly for all she knew. In the place she currently occupied time and space held no sway. Now and again a soothing voice would quiet her soft whimpers and lull her back into a feeling of security. This was all wrong wasn't it? Pain filtered through that void where she resided trying to tug her back toward the light. Stubbornly her consciousness pushed her further away from that light and kept her suspended in darkness._

_Dreams came and went. They were fleeting at best and couldn't be held onto. Crimson flashed ever so often in those silent dreams and it would cause the raven haired beauty's brows to crease as she slept. Each time that happened there would be a gentle touch upon her forehead, easing the worry lines away. Then warmth would envelop her cold body and muscles would relax, allowing sleep to take hold once more._

_"Am I... Dead?" Natsuki's lips murmured the words quietly into the surrounding darkness. Emerald eyes refused to open as feeling began to work its way through her numb body. How long had she been sleeping? She was unsure..._

_"You're not dead." A soothing voice responded almost immediately. Though unfamiliar at the moment the voice made Natsuki feel at ease. _

_After a few moments of failed attempts Natsuki's eyes finally parted and she stared up at the white wash ceiling high above. The dim light hurt. She blinked a couple of times trying to clear the grogginess from her brain. Her pink tongue flicked over her dry lips and she coughed, sitting up slowly with a groan. There was something attached to her shoulder. Glancing over her brows furrowed as she took in the sight of a thick bandage covering her pale flesh. What.. Had happened?_

_Oh._

_Memories of the fight flooded her mind along with a wave of dizziness that sent her back down onto the mattress. She lifted her hand and ran it through her hair, sighing heavily. Her brows creased again and she removed her hand from her line of sight. Crimson stared at her questioningly from the side of the bed she currently occupied. _

_"Shi..zu..ru..?" She said the name slowly, allowing each syllable to roll off of her tongue. Why was the brunette sitting across from her? Confusion sat in._

_Shizuru seemed to notice this almost immediately because she formed a warm smile and began answering questions that hadn't yet been verbally posed. "I believe you had an accident, Natsuki. I found you a couple of days ago outside of the school grounds. You were in quite bad condition so I brought you back to my home to recover." She lied so easily, but it was for the best wasn't it?_

_Natsuki tried sitting up again but winced halfway through and lay back down. "Please don't try to move so much, it's best to rest and let your wounds heal." Shizuru said gently, placing a hand upon Natsuki's bare side. Her touch was cool against the dark haired girl's skin. It actually felt quite nice. That was when Natsuki noticed she was only wearing a bra on her upper half. Her cheeks flushed instantly and she used her good arm to jerk the covers over her body._

_Shizuru could only smile at the abrupt act. "Modest?" She teased playfully, those crimson eyes dancing._

_Emeralds narrowed slightly. Natsuki took a deep breath and sat up, making sure to keep the covers over her upper half. She managed to remain upright with only a wince which she figured was a good sign she was already healing. 'Good... I can get the hell out of here. She found me huh?' Natsuki eyed Shizuru for a moment. 'Wait.. No.. That's not right. I was.. In that building, something exploded.. What the fuck? Did I make it out of there and back to the school without even knowing it?' Shizuru watched the different emotions play out across her friend's face. 'That's not possible. God did she...?' Natsuki blinked and swallowed slowly. 'Did Shizuru save me?' The thought hadn't even crossed her mind until now._

_That had to be the case; there was no way in hell she could have made it out of that situation on her own. She'd severely underestimated the security and it had damn near cost her, her life. Suddenly a new feeling made its presence known causing her heart to thud a little quicker behind her rib cage. What the hell was that? "So you..." She began quietly, looking down to the sheets. "Took care of me, huh?" and those men with your child I'll bet. She snickered inwardly wishing that she had been able to see the look of fear on their faces._

_Shizuru smiled softly. Natsuki was quite cute... "Of course I did, I couldn't let Natsuki die in the middle of the street." She said that like it was common for someone to care. No one ever cared for Natsuki, why did Shizuru?_

_Oh you made her care, remember? Natsuki inwardly yelled at herself. "Well.." She twitched her nose, something Shizuru had always found rather cute. "Thanks." She said that word a little rougher than she should have but.. She'd never been that great at thanking someone for anything. She never really had a need to; no one ever helped her out. Not until now. But that was only because she had spent so much time making Shizuru... She sighed. That was all it was, a planted emotion she'd helped grow over the course of their 'friendship'._

_"Are you alright?" Shizuru suddenly asked. Natsuki blinked. Apparently she'd zoned out._

_"Uh yeah, I'm fine. Look I'm going to get out of here, thanks for letting me stay and recoup..." Natsuki swung her legs over the edge of the bed. Ugh they felt like lead._

_Shizuru raised a worried brow at her friend and then placed a gentle hand on her good shoulder, effectively ceasing her movements. "I don't think you should force yourself." Her voice was so sweet it sounded as if someone had laced it with pure sugar. Concern was evident though._

_Natsuki shrugged the hand from her shoulder and grabbed a shirt she noticed was hers from the ground, tugging it on. Once it was in place she took note of the shredded parts where the bullets had scorched through. That had been a close one. Regardless she was alive and now she needed to get back to her apartment. Upon standing her head swam with dizziness that almost forced her to sit down but she fought against it and took two unsteady steps forward. Shizuru stood from the bed, ready to catch her friend should she fall but fortunately, or unfortunately as it may be, she didn't._

_"I wish you would reconsider..." Shizuru sighed softly at Natsuki's obvious stubbornness._

_"I'm fine." The bluenette stated flatly, tugging on her boots which had been beside the door to the bedroom. In reality she was anything but, each move felt like someone was stabbing her in the shoulder with a red hot poker. She said nothing about it though and moved through the door into the hallway. Shizuru was on her heels, trying to get her to reconsider. _

_"How exactly do you expect to get back to campus?" The brunette asked, lifting a well manicured brow in a questioning expression._

_Natsuki's lips pursed. Well she hadn't thought that one through but really.. Was that any surprise? With a groan she turned back toward Shizuru and sighed. It seemed she really wasn't going any where after all. But was that so bad? She wasn't sure..._

_--_

A/N

Just to clarify for those who didn't know.. Shizuru was wearing a standard style karate uniform. If you don't know what they look like just google 'Karate Gi'

Obi = Belt

Uwa-gi = Shirt

zubon = Pants

I don't think there is anything else I wanted/needed to add. Erm -thinks- Nope, I guess that's about it. Hope you enjoyed this chapter; the next one will be coming soon. Thanks for all of the comments/reviews!


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter ten.. Wow we're into the double digits now, huh? ;) Well I hope you guys are enjoying the ride because it's only going to continue through more twists and turns from here. I'm not quite done torturing all of you yet -evil grin- Oh come on! I know you secretly like it. ^_^ Anyway this chapter deals with the events of the carnival. You'll finally get to see how it -really- unfolded for our two girls. Ready,... Action!

--

**Not Easily Washed Away**

_How could I have been foolish enough to believe that someone as fucked up as me came from a loving family?_

_Still..._

_I didn't want to believe what that man from the SEARRS Foundation had said. Something inside of me knew he wasn't lying. He was getting too much pleasure from telling me to be lying._

_My mother had attempted to sell me to them. She'd already received compensation, then District One killed her when they found out about her plans. Thus 'killing' me in the process. _

_I guess now it's very plain to see..._

_Memories aren't worth the regrets..._

_Gears shifted carrying the motorcycle to faster speeds. Water made the drive treacherous; each curve caused the bike to sway dangerously and tires to nearly skid out. Natsuki leaned further against the bike, flattening her form against the gas tank. Emerald eyes flashed as her mind went into overdrive. Emotions she'd thought were long buried were resurfacing and caused her focus on the road to dissipate. _

_How could she have been so blind?_

_Her teeth ground together as she kicked up another gear and sped around the quickly approaching curve. She hadn't even seen the almost translucent wire glistening in the heavy rain. The front tire snapped the wire and immediately sent the bike into a high speed wobble. Her eyes widened as the bike slid to the side, crashing into the asphalt below. Chunks of fiberglass and steel exploded into tiny pieces under the impact. She was thrown from the bike and landed hard on the road, rolling quite a ways before coming to a stop on her back._

_Fragments of her biker helmets shield cut into her cheeks, her leathers stuck painfully to her body, parts which were burnt into her flesh from the skid across the asphalt. Every inch of her ached. What the hell happened? Slowly those eyes opened and peered upward, a slow breath being pushed from her lungs. Vision blurred just as the visage of Nao appeared before her. Was that... A smirk?_

_Shit._

_--_

_The bindings were tight, too tight to easily get out of. A struggle would be necessary but how could she manage that with Nao watching her so closely? The wind blew gently from the ocean side, in fact the water was so close random spray kept dampening Natsuki's face. It was dark; the only source of light was from the moon shining so brilliantly above. She recognized where they were immediately... This oh so familiar place. Without bringing attention to herself she tensed her arms to test the true strength of her bindings. Yep. Not so much as a budge. Damn. Mentally she scolded herself for being caught off guard so easily._

_Stupid Nao._

_Internally she sighed. That damn girl got in her way more often than not. It seemed they had a mutual hatred though, even before the incident with Nao's eye. She shouldn't have attacked Natsuki to begin with, then that never would have happened and currently they both could have been doing much more important things. Instead here they were playing bondage on a cliff side. "Come on, smile." Nao held up her cell phone and began taking pictures. A tied up Natsuki...Those would serve as good bragging material later, she was positive. "Ugh.. This is boring, why aren't you fighting back?" _

_"Don't ignore me." Nao said bitterly, a smirk tugging her lips as she stepped forward. "Ugh seriously torturing you while you're acting dead isn't going to make my eye feel better in the least..." She closed the small space between them and wrapped her clawed hand around Natsuki's face, squeezing slightly with a sadistic glint in her lime green eyes._

_Natsuki didn't even react, she couldn't take her mind off of what had happened with John Smith from SEARRS. So her mother had tried to sell her? She sighed, brows furrowed deeply. Why did it surprise her? Seriously, she had to be worth a lot considering her powers but for her own mother to try and sell her... That was just too much to bear. Now she had to deal with Nao as well and her strength for such trivial matters had faded long ago._

_Maybe this was it. Perhaps this was how it was meant to go down in the end. She'd never have her revenge on District One and all because of this... Girl. She peered down to Nao and instantly felt sick to her stomach. This bitch couldn't destroy all of her hard work, her countless years of research trying to find her enemies so she could finally defeat them. Then again were they her real enemies? Confusion washed over Natsuki's body._

_Her mother had tried to sell her, District One killed her, so who was her real enemy? Heat rose from her skin, prickling the little hairs and causing them to stand at attention. It didn't matter, things couldn't end this way. 'Duran!' She yelled out in her mind. A few seconds passed but nothing happened. 'Duran!!' She yelled again but to her dismay the same thing.. He didn't respond to her. What the hell? This was a little unsettling to say the very least. But then.. There was that sweet Kyoto-ben._

_"That's enough."_

_Nao blinked and turned, quickly taking a defensive stance. Her eyes widened when she saw the Student Council President striding calmly up to them. Immediately she smirked and dropped the stance, opting instead to put a hand on her hip to appear nonchalant. Natsuki's head lifted slightly and to her surprise she saw crimson staring back at her. She couldn't believe her eyes, why was Shizuru here? Had she come to...? To save her again? Immediately her heart began thudding behind her chest. The feelings coursing through her were the same as before.. What did they mean?_

_"Shizuru..." Natsuki whispered hoarsely. Well this was a sudden yet very welcome surprise. A smirk wanted badly to spread across Natsuki's mouth but she kept it from happening by biting the inside corner of her mouth. Shizuru and Nao were talking but Natsuki hadn't really been paying attention to the conversation. She caught the tail end of it, something about Shizuru wanting to protect her? Her brows furrowed.. "Sh..zuru?" She questioned more to herself than the other girl. However now Natsuki's eyes were wide... Shizuru had just summoned her element, a massive steel naginata._

_'Impressive.' Natsuki thought, a glint of awe shining in those beautiful emerald eyes. Nao laughed of course and brought out her own element, those damned spider webs like strings... She bound Shizuru's weapon in an instant. Well damn... That hadn't gone very well. There was something mischievous in those crimson eyes though, something on Natsuki picked up on._

_"Kiyohime." Shizuru calmly said, a smile curving her lips. Nao blinked and stepped back just as the ground beneath her began to quake. Lime green eyes widened in horror as a massive beast smashed upward through the earth, taking her child with it as it rose into the sky. It was something of a cross between a Kraken monster and dragon._

_Without a doubt it was one of the most deadly looking Child's Nao had encountered yet. She screamed and tried to run but she too was caught up in the debris. When the dust settled she was lying battered on the ground, reaching desperately for her cell phone. Shizuru stepped on it as she stared down upon Nao, those deadly eyes glowing fiercely in the darkness, behind her Kyohime stood in all of his glory. Nao was helpless... Her Child had been discarded off the side of the cliff leaving her vulnerable. Natsuki was safely removed from her bindings and rested atop one of the heads of Kyohime, watching in awe at what was happening below._

_Without warning Shizuru slung her element forward. The end detached into something resembling a whip and sliced cleanly through the cliff in front of her. Nao's eyes widen and she cried out as the side she was lying on began to detach and fall into pieces toward the awaiting ocean below. As the dust and dirt rose back up from the ocean shore Shizuru smirked and turned, allowing Kyohime to hoist her upward as they departed from the remaining cliff side._

_Natsuki weakly watched from her slouched over position as Nao fell to the awaiting water below. She was a little disappointed that Shizuru hadn't just outright killed that bitch, destroyed her child and her special person all at the same time. Perhaps the girl had her reasons... Though Natsuki wasn't sure what they might be. Her body ached from the crash she'd endured earlier, not to mention the other random abuse she'd suffered at the hands of Nao. Slowly her eyes began to close and darkness eventually took her away._

_--_

_Why do I... Smell... Tea...?_

_Slowly Natsuki's eyes opened and she tilted her head to one side. "Where am I?" She asked. Seemed she tended to wake up a lot in places she didn't recognize as of late._

_To her side Shizuru sat in seiza, her ever present smile seeming to light up the dimly lit room. "This house belongs to one of the students I teach Tea Ceremonies to. Don't worry, no one knows of this place. We're the only ones here..." Those crimson eyes seemed to flash at that last statement._

_Natsuki shivered slightly, licking her lips slowly. So she was here alone with Shizuru? At the moment considering now both of them knew one another were Hime Natsuki wasn't sure how safe that was. But... This was after all Shizuru, right? She had nothing to worry about... Right? _

_"I held myself back a lot, you know..." Shizuru began after adjusting the covers over Natsuki's shoulders, their faces dangerously close. Natsuki's breath hitched and her eyes focused on those lips... To her dismay Shizuru moved back into seiza. "If you had figured out I was a Hime, then you would have been too considerate towards me." She smiled. "I was happy how you kept yourself a secret for my sake..." Her gaze shifted toward the floor. "But I couldn't overlook it this time. Even if it meant discarding my work as president..."_

_Natsuki swallowed. For some reason hearing all of this coming from Shizuru made her stomach twist into knots. 'Shizuru... I knew all along. Considerate toward you? No... Rather I have been using you for some time now.' Her inner voice was going on a rampage. She sighed and turned her head to the side, trying to keep her eyes from welling up. "I didn't care about what would happen to me." She said in barely more than a whisper. It was true. After finding out about her mother she wanted to die. Nao just happened to be there with a trap ready._

_Warm tears finally found their way down her cheeks but Shizuru was right there to gently wipe them away. Natsuki furrowed her brows and allowed her eyes to close. Why was Shizuru being so kind to her? She didn't deserve it but then again... Shizuru didn't know that. The now familiar feeling inside of her heart made another appearance causing the organ to thud painfully in her chest. It seemed this feeling only came around when the brunette was near._

_Eventually daylight spilled into the room surrounding them. Natsuki had drifted in and out of consciousness during the time between but Shizuru had never left her side. Now that it was morning the brunette stood and adjusted her Kimono. "I Love You, Natsuki. So whatever happens, I'll protect you." She turned to leave._

_Emerald eyes widened slightly. Natsuki's heart constricted at the words Shizuru had just said with such ease. She... Loved her? For a brief moment her mind blanked completely. Those words... They touched her deep inside for some reason. Her heart was beating rapidly again, it almost hurt. Closing her eyes momentarily she spoke without thinking. "Me too." Shizuru turned, those crimson eyes focusing on viridian ones that were wide open now. "I Love You, Shizuru." Even as the words left her mouth she couldn't believe she was saying them. Her inner voice yelled again, trying to shake her out of her lapse in judgment. How could she have said that!? More so she'd said it without thinking; it was almost as if it were natural. That fact alone scared her beyond belief._

_Without any more words exchanged Shizuru left the room and sighed, closing the door behind her. "But my love and your love are quite different..." Her eyes closed half way and she swallowed down the pain that threatened to break her. Why had she bothered telling Natsuki of her feelings? Down inside she knew it probably meant nothing to the biker._

_Natsuki stared up at the ceiling for a long time after Shizuru left. Her mind was full, so full in fact it was beginning to hurt. Shizuru had said she loved her. Even more disturbing Natsuki had told Shizuru she loved her as well. How had that even been allowed to happen? She sighed and furrowed her brows. "Shizuru... If you only knew what kind of person I really was you would see how loving someone like me is only dangerous to you..."_

_She pinched the bridge of her nose. "Besides... You don't love me." Her tone was defeated, why did she suddenly feel bad about that? "It's all just part of my brilliant scheme to use you.." Sarcasm was clearly evident as she slammed her hand down against the covers. Her eyes closed slowly, why was she feeling bad about this now? Could it be.. She was developing feelings for Shizuru after all this time?_

_With a growl she shook the thoughts from her head. "Impossible!" She said under her breath. The mere idea of falling in love with Shizuru was just... She blinked and then swallowed as her heart began thumping hard again. No.. It couldn't be, there's just no.. Way..._

_Over the next few days Natsuki's body began to heal. Her mind however was in the same wrecked state as before. During the long hours of the day she would sit outside with the help of Shizuru and stare off into the distance thinking. Confusion seemed to be the only real emotion she could feel at the moment. For years she'd worked to get Shizuru to the point where she was now. Though it seemed all pleasure derived had dried up._

_Was she truly regretting her actions?_

_Her concentration was broken when something wet touched her foot. She looked down and furrowed her brows as a small pup looked up to her, wagging its tail. It looked like her stuffed puppy from before. A slow smile spread across her lips and she scooped the little dog up. "Hey that tickles.." She said with a soft chuckle. Just then Shizuru appeared from behind her, setting something down on the porch. She had been distant lately and wore a more than forlorn expression most of the time._

_"To be honest, during that time with Nao... I cried out for Duran many times in my mind, but... Duran didn't answer me." Natsuki bit her lower lip and sniffled, a couple of tears falling from her closed eyes. Her resolve was beginning to crack. The little dog leaned up and licked her cheek causing a ghost of a smile to appear. At least being here like this... She could indulge in Shizuru's company in secret._

_Dusk had washed over the land. The sun dipped behind the horizon casting a beautiful bronze hue over everything it touched, including Natsuki who was in the same place as before but now had her back against the door, dozing. Shizuru approached from inside the house and knelt down with a smile. "Natsuki... The sun has set, so it'll get cold soon." Her crimson eyes widened slightly when she saw the rays of dying light framing Natsuki's beautiful face in gold. Her chest constricted and the breath she'd taken caught in her throat. _

_It wasn't fair for Natsuki to be so striking..._

_Shizuru sighed softly and closed her eyes, brows creased in frustration. "Natsuki..." She said softly with a hint of a blush covering her cheeks. Gingerly she reached out and ran the backside of her hand across Natsuki's cheek, touching that flesh so tenderly. The tips of her fingers brushed over soft lips and then cupped her chin, turning so her face was toward Shizuru's. 'I shouldn't be doing this...' Her inner voice whispered but the urge to touch Natsuki's lips with her own was overwhelming. Internally she shivered, swallowing quietly as she leaned in. Her heart thudded in anticipation and then... Their lips touched in a soft exchange. It felt like butterflies erupted in Shizuru's stomach at the feel of those lips on her own. She moaned softly into them, savoring the taste._

_Delicious._

_Divine._

_Forbidden..._

_In a brief flash her long sought after moment was crushed by the shrill scream of a girl hiding in the yard. Shizuru instantly stood, her heart caught in her throat as she turned those crimson eyes toward... Haruka? She'd been seen. Her jaw clenched and she narrowed her eyes, gesturing toward another part of the garden. "Shall we talk over there?" She asked in that calm, sweet voice._

_---_

_Dreams..._

_For Natsuki dreams always consisted of horrible memories pertaining to her mother's death. This time however she was greeted to a different kind of dream. A gentle weight settled atop her body and a warm stream of cool air brushed against her lips, a precursor to the lips that met her own. The kiss was unlike anything she'd ever felt before. Of course she'd never really been... Kissed before. But this, this was... _

_Crimson eyes flashed in her dream and her name was spoken in that seductive Kyoto-ben._

_Suddenly her eyes snapped open and she jerked backward, hitting the door behind her. Her chest heaved and she blinked rapidly trying to clear the dream from her eyes. Quickly she scanned her surroundings. Shizuru was no where to be found. She blushed lightly and shook her head. "H-How foolish... Shizuru would never kiss me..." She sighed. Was that a disappointing realization? Her brows furrowed slightly as her ears perked to the sound of raised voices. Not being one to deny her curious side she slowly got up and snuck toward the source._

_Hiding herself behind a cluster of trees and bushes she peered out through the darkness. Just barely she could make out three figures. One was Shizuru; the other two were Haruka and Yukino of the Student Council. Haruka seemed more than upset and the mild mannered Yukino seemed at the moment to share her feelings. Why were they mad at Shizuru? Natsuki leaned a bit further around the tree, straining her ears to hear what was being said. _

_Yukino stepped toward Shizuru daringly. "If you don't come back... I'll..." She paused and set her jaw. "I've seen it, just like you kissed her a moment ago while she slept. I've seen what you did to Kuga-san!" From the hidden spot behind the trees Natsuki blinked and let out a slow breath. Yukino took another step forward and continued with her accusations. "You masqueraded around as a friend of hers but.. What you've done is..."_

_Natsuki's brows twitched as the words Yukino was saying filtered through her head. Vague images of Shizuru's lips against her own as well as being in the same bed with her surfaced causing her to shiver. She clenched her jaw and wrapped her arms protectively around herself. She hadn't given Shizuru enough credit for her bold actions..._

_"Look who's talking, Kikukawa-san." Shizuru said her voice dark and challenging. "Aren't you in the same situation?"_

_Yukino took a step back as Haruka eyed her curiously. She blushed and adverted her gaze back to Shizuru, glowering slightly. "No, I'm not. I'm..."_

_Shizuru cut her off coldly. "Then is peeping just your favorite pastime? What a wonderful hobby you have." A smirk touched upon her lips at the shock reflected in Yukino's eyes. She hadn't even noticed Haruka advancing toward her until her head jerked to the side from the slap she'd received. Her lip split painfully but she made no indication she'd registered the pain at all. Rather she calmly turned her head back, focusing those blood red eyes upon Haruka._

_"You make me sick." Haruka spat through clenched teeth. "What's up with that determined attitude of yours? In the end you think about nothing but yourself. Such a person has no right to say anything to Yukino!" She was seething. Her eyes were wide like an animal but she wasn't done just yet. "To indulge in such action between females.. How disgusting! Both you and Natsuki Kuga are-!"_

_The remaining words never left Haruka's mouth as a harsh slap from Shizuru promptly shut her up. The blonde's head snapped to the side and she growled softly, refocusing her gaze back on Shizuru. The brunette was as composed as ever. "That... Was something I did on my own. I won't forgive you for insulting Natsuki." A long moment passed between the three, around them the wind began to pick up ferocity. "If it's for my dearest one, I will do anything. Do you think like that?" Her eyes fell on Yukino once more, challenging her. She got nothing but a cold stare for a response. A slow smile spread across her lips and she gave a single nod. "Yes.. My thoughts exactly."_

_There was a bright flash of light as Shizuru summoned her element. Both Yukino as well as Haruka stepped back, eyes going wide. What the hell was that? They both stared at the steel weapon now wrapped in Shizuru's right hand. Yukino covered her mouth as a gasp escaped her._

_From the trees Natsuki watched, her eyes wide. "Shizuru!" She mumbled behind numb lips. This wasn't supposed to involve the other Hime. Not like this... Nao was only an exception because she'd brought herself into the situation. Yukino and Haruka were innocent, they didn't deserve to die... 'Look what you've done Kuga!' She yelled at herself, ready to bolt from her hiding spot._

_"Fujino?" Haruka questioned, looking at her rival in confusion._

_"Fujino-san... You too?" Yukino whispered loud enough to get a strange look from Haruka._

_The blonde looked back and forth between Yukino and Shizuru, not sure what the hell was going on. When she turned back toward Shizuru her rival lifted that massive naginata in her direction and smirked, a deadly gleam in her eye. She was preparing to attack._

_"Stop it, Shizuru!" Natsuki yelled from behind as she ran toward the trio, breathing heavily. She realized quickly when Shizuru raised that blade that she was serious about ending the two girl's lives. There was no mistaking that look in her eye._

_Shizuru spun around, dread overtaking her features. "Natsuki?" She said questioningly. Her eyes shown with the fear that gripped her heart. "Did you.. Hear us just now?" She asked slowly, her chest tightening._

_Natsuki grimaced and looked away, emeralds focusing on the ground. Shizuru slowly stepped forward, reaching out to cup Natsuki's cheek. "Natsu... ki..." Just as her hand touched upon that tender flesh Natsuki jerked away from her, crying out her rejection. At that second Shizuru's heart shattered like glass. It was all just... Too much to bear. "I didn't want you to know. I knew you would reject such inappropriate love. Still..." The tears began to fall down her cheeks before she could even think to stop them._

_Emerald eyes softened at the heartbreak evident on her friend's face. It broke her heart to hear these things from Shizuru, knowing that she was the cause of all of it. These feelings Shizuru had for her were all planted by Natsuki to begin with. Now look where it had led them! Internally she wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around Shizuru and pull her close. To admit to her how this wasn't her fault, she had no reason to be ashamed. Her body refused to move though. Shizuru took a breath and swallowed back her emotions, turning coldly back toward Haruka and Yukino who were watching intently._

_"Kikukawa-san, the deadline is close is it not? We need to settle this..." She lifted her naginata back toward both of them, smirking._

_To everyone's surprise Haruka grabbed firmly hold of the end and shook it. "What's the big idea with this?" She asked, putting a hand on her hip in defiance to Shizuru's obvious threat. Yukino's eyes widened and she stepped forward, trying to pull her friend back. "For crying out loud, I never thought you'd stoop this low." Haruka snickered as she dropped the end of the naginata and advanced toward Shizuru. "Because she saw your weakness, you're going to threaten her with this knife?"_

_Shizuru blinked, caught off guard by the brash actions of her rival. She hadn't anticipated this type of response. Natsuki stood behind the three looking on tensely. This was getting worse by the second but what could she do?_

_"What a great president of the Student Council you are. Just try it!" Haruka stood toe to toe with Shizuru, challenging her without waver._

_Yukino rushed from behind and grabbed onto Haruka's shoulders, trying to pull her friend back. "Don't taunt her, Haruka-chan!"_

_Haruka shrugged her off. "Be quiet." She said calmly to Yukino before turning her attention back to Shizuru. "What's wrong, you're not going to do it? Then be gone before you commit any more unsightly acts! I won't let you lay one finger on Yukino!" _

_Shizuru closed her eyes momentarily, chuckling under her breath. The defiance of Haruka was quite astounding. She couldn't help but feel slightly jealous of Yukino. She had someone who truly loved her,.. Enough to stand up to a weapon as menacing as the naginata. "Step back. This is not something for you to get involved in." She said coldly, not bothering to look at Haruka any longer. Her voice dropped a couple octaves; she was done playing this game. It was time to end this dispute once and for all. "Kiyohime."_

_From behind her in a rupture of light the massive monster made its presence known, erupting from the ground. Its vicious heads loomed above the four of them, hissing in unison as they awaited eagerly the signal to devour their enemies. Natsuki turned and instantly her blood ran cold. Emerald eyes widened as they took in the devastatingly evil visage of Shizuru's Child just behind her._

_At that moment she wanted to cling to Shizuru and beg her to cease this but she knew it was futile. Without another choice she grabbed hold of Shizuru by the shoulders. "Shizuru, stop this!" Her friend didn't respond so she shook harder. "Shizuru, please!" Still Shizuru didn't budge, her mind was made up. Natsuki turned and ground her teeth before screaming into the night air. "Duran! Duran!" Nothing. She tried again. "Please come out Duran!" Still nothing, frustration began to set in. "Duran!" She squeaked pitifully, why would he not answer her!?_

_"Haruka-chan please you have to run!" Yukino begged, trying to pull her friend from Shizuru's line of attack. Haruka wasn't budging either, damn her stubbornness! _

_"Natsuki..." Shizuru said seriously. "I'll protect you." She sounded a bit off... Like she wasn't particularly there at the moment. Her attention turned back to Yukino and Haruka and she spoke the grave words that would lead her Child onward into battle. "Kiyohime."_

_The beast prepared to lunge but before it could Yukino leapt in front of Haruka and yelled. "Diana!" Immediately her child surfaced and shot upward toward Kiyohime in a sudden surprise attack. With expertise Shizuru swung her element into action, defending Kiyohime from the sudden attack by slicing cleanly through those tentacles with the sharp blade of her naginata. Yukino gasped in shock, holding her hands to her mouth. What had just happened? In the blink of an eye pieces of her Child were raining around them. High above Diana was being torn to shreds by the many mouths of Kiyohime._

_The demonic smirk etched onto Shizuru's face never once faltered, even as Haruka fell to the ground. She clutched her chest, wincing from the sharp pain radiating through her body. "Haruka-chan!" Yukino cried, reaching for her friend._

_Haruka looked at her in confusion. "Wh.. What is this?" Her eyes focused on Shizuru once more and with sheer determination she forced herself to stand. "I see..." She snickered._

_Yukino reached outward but Haruka was already stepping forward toward Shizuru. "Haruka-chan..." She said softly._

_"Stay where you are." Haruka said to Yukino, her voice determined as ever as she staggered closer to her rival. "Fujino, you might think you've won but unfortunately for you I'm Haruka Suzushiro. I won't lose." She ground her teeth in silent agony; each step was pure torture... From around her body tiny green sparks of light began flittering upward toward the moonlight. She was becoming slight more transparent with each step she fought to take. "I'm right. A human's worth can't be quantified by this..." Haruka stumbled but righted herself after biting back a scream of pain. Her eyes watered slightly as she stared upward at Shizuru, her gaze hard and unwavering. "Stupid magic!" She yelled while jerking her self forward and effectively head butting Shizuru._

_Crimson eyes widened in utter surprise. Yukino stared in awe at her friend's determined attitude until the very end. From behind Shizuru, Natsuki looked on in completely disbelief at what was happening._

_"Yukino!" Haruka cried out as she turned, locking eyes with her best friend, her companion... Her other half. From her arm she yanked the Fuka Student Council band and threw it to Yukino who caught it, eyes wide._

_"Haruka-chan!" The dark haired brunette screamed while before her very eyes her one and only friend vanished. Tears filled the corners of her eyes and slowly streamed down her cheeks. Natsuki softened her gaze upon Yukino, regret filling her entire being. This was her fault.. She had caused this and now Haruka's death was on her hands._

_There was a bitter laugh that caused both Yukino as well as Natsuki to look up. Shizuru shook her head just slightly. "How amusing..." She said flatly. "Isn't she miserable? You think she was saved by that?" She chuckled dryly once more. "There's no need to keep it a secret, Natsuki." She turned toward Natsuki, those enchanting red eyes hidden behind her eyelids. Slowly they opened to meet surprised emeralds and she spoke the words she'd wanted to say all along. "I Love You."_

_Natsuki took one step back and blinked, feeling as if someone had just hit her in the stomach. "Shizu...ru..." She said softly._

_Shizuru licked her lips, her brow twitching. "That's right; I'll defeat all the other Himes and everything else you don't like." Her voice was chilling and dark. It was a twisted form of her normal collected and sweet accented charm... The change was quite disturbing. "So.. Hand in there for me." With that she gave a wicked smile and turned, walking away from both girls her naginata still in hand._

_Natsuki reached for Shizuru but it was too late, she grasped only air. "Shizuru!" she cried out. "Please wait!" But the brunette continued onward without as much as a glance back._

_---_

_Dreams. They're often fleeting... However there are those that are so vivid you feel more alive sleeping than awake._

_Such dreams caused Natsuki to toss, turn and whimper until she finally shot up in the bed, crying out as sweat beaded up on her forehead. She gasped, sucking in a much needed breath as the dream faded from her mind. With brows furrowed she looked around taking note she was in a hospital room. But why, what had happened? Everything seemed so very blurry. _

_"Yo..." A voice called to her from the side of the bed, causing her brows to furrow even deeper. Emeralds focused on.. Tate? "I heard you collapsed in the middle of the street. You were carried here in an ambulance."_

_Natsuki gave a sigh and clenched her hands around the sheets covering her body. "I would've preferred to be left there." She replied coldly. It would have been more fitting; she deserved death for what she'd caused._

_"Something's wrong with you, too." Tate said with a sigh. "You're a Hime too, right?" He asked, his eyes burning into those striking emeralds. "What happened? It's the same with Tokiha!"_

_Natsuki blinked in confusion. "With Mai?" She repeated, eyes widening slightly. What had happened with Mai? She listening intently for a brief moment and then sat back, folding her hands in her lap. "I see, so she's... The Hime's destiny is tearing everything apart." Suddenly she turned to Tate, staring him down. "Do you like Mai?"_

_Tate seemed to immediately grow uncomfortable; he began to fidget and looked away almost instantly. "I don't know.. But that... What the hell?" It was actually somewhat cute to see him so flustered all of a sudden._

_Natsuki smiled softly and glanced down to her hands. "The life of the person dearest to a Hime is at stake when she battles." She began to explain. "When a Hime is defeated, the person dearest to her dies." Her eyes glazed over thinking about Yukino, as well as what had happened with Takumi even before that. Mai's brother had gotten involved in this mess as well and Arika ended up being defeated after trying to save him. What a mess._

_"Then Takumi is..." Tate asked eyes wide._

_Natsuki cut him off with a shake of her head. "Takumi disappeared as the person dearest to another Hime. Right. by then, Mai's dearest might have been someone else."_

_Tate's brows furrowed and he slammed a hand down into his thigh. "Don't tell me she's..." He stood upright, crying out in utter frustration._

_Natsuki blinked. "Tate?"_

_"Damn it!" He yelled, turning and making for the exit. Natsuki watched as he ran into the hallway and listening until the beating of his shoes against the tiles could no longer be heard. She sighed, smiling softly down at her hands. He was so in love with Mai... And she loved him, too bad they were both too blind to see it. Her heart leapt into her throat and she touched her chest tenderly, wincing. Her mind went to thoughts of Shizuru and what had happened between them not that long ago. A hand ran through her shimmering hair and she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. She'd really created a monster._

_Biting into her bottom lip she rewound her actions to the beginning when she had first noticed Shizuru might be developing feelings for her. Of course it made everything easier, didn't it? With Shizuru in her pocket and being a Hime... Well she would have no trouble taking care of her enemies. Now though... Now things had gotten complicated. It seemed she had feelings for Shizuru as well. Frustration began creeping up on her again. She flung the covers from her body, stood and exited the room quickly. She needed to think and this wasn't the best place to do so. What were these feelings she was developing? It was all so very confusing. She'd never felt like this toward anyone before..._

_Why Shizuru, why now?_

_--_

_A/N_

_Hey guys I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I know it can be strange reading things you already watched but hopefully I was able to throw in the perspective from both girls. I wanted to write in all the scenes from the anime I felt were important to the story of Natsuki & Shizuru and give them the twist of Natsuki having those ulterior motives to use Shizuru for her dirty deeds. I hope everything came across okay. Shoot me a PM or leave a comment/review if you wanna. Thanks as always for reading!_


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter eleven. Moving onward still! This chapter will be the last of the "flashbacks" and the next will bring us back into their present time. I hope that this chapter is worthy of all you readers out there that have been supporting the story thus far. I know it can be a little difficult to read stuff you've already watched but I try to give it perspective from both characters. I think it gives you a better understanding what everyone was thinking while stuff was going down. Well anyway enjoy the chapter and as always feel free to leave a comment and or review. Have questions? Shoot me a PM and we'll talk. Take care!

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**Not Easily Washed Away**

_Natsuki, you need to remain on course. You've come so very far... The destruction of District One is close at hand. You can't afford to stop now, not after everything you've done to ensure their fate would be sealed. _

_Shizuru is nothing more than a pawn, Natsuki. You must remember that and push back these feelings of regret and... Love. It's ridiculous and you know that! She doesn't really love you; down inside you know that to be true. For years you have planted that seed in her and watched it bloom into the madness that's completely consumed her._

_Now that she is broken she will take vengeance for you in your honor. Blood will be spilt, tainted blood from those that deserve no lesser fate. Remain a bystander in your own game, Natsuki. Don't get involved now or your hands will be stained as well. _

_They're already stained._

_No. What happened to Haruka wasn't your fault. They should have never come around... They had no right being there, why had they showed up anyway? Damn nosy people always end up getting hurt in the end. _

_Allow Shizuru to do this for you Natsuki, she wants to take the life of those that have wronged you. Is that so bad? Why should you deny her something that will obviously bring her so much satisfaction?_

_Because I... love her. I don't want to see her hands dirtied because of me._

_Bullshit, Natsuki. If you loved her you never would have used her to begin with. Since day one you have put yourself first. Never once did you speak to her without some ulterior motive behind your words and actions. How can you even stand there and make such a claim? Love... What does Natsuki Kuga know about love?_

_N.. Nothing._

_You use, manipulate, deceive and then throw away everyone you encounter. Don't try to deny it; you know that it's all true. Shizuru is no exception and you shouldn't treat her as one. In the end you know what will happen... You will end up extinguishing her as if she were nothing more than a flickering flame trying to hold the darkness that eats you up inside at bay._

_Make no mistake, Kuga.... You're just as twisted as you made her out to be. Before she met you she was everything a high school girl should be. Polite, endearing, charming, positively a radiant light at Fuka Academy. But you took that grace and beauty and turned it into a distorted shell filled with rage and love. Both the most dangerous emotions humans can harbor. To be quite honest with yourself you have made her into the perfect killer willing to do anything for her Natsuki._

_I... I'm a monster..._

_When have you ever been anything different? It's much easier to admit that and go ahead with your plans. Changing the course of your actions now won't save you in the end. You think one act of selflessness can wash away your sins? Not in this life time. You're tied to her and she to you, not for the reasons you both would like but because you're the master and she the slave. Never forget that._

_Natsuki's head hurt. She was fully aware of that if nothing else going on around her. It felt like something was splitting her brain in half from the inside. Not a nice feeling at all. The trip from the hospital to her apartment had been one of the longest walks of her life. In reality it was only a couple miles but with the war waging inside of her head it seemed like twenty. She sighed while pulling the card key from her wallet and sliding it into the door. When the lock clicked open she pushed against the door and walked inside, allowing the heavy obstruction to slam closed behind her._

_Home sweet home._

_She turned and cringed when her skin met with something sticky. What the hell was that? Emeralds scanned the darkened room and noticed instantly it was covered in spider webs. Before she could even register the damage done to her home or think to call her elements her wrists were bound in the sticky web and she was jerked clean off of her feet._

_Fuck._

_Her eyes widened when Nao sat up in what looked like a hammock made of spider web and yawned. Those lime green eyes focused on her, sending a chill up her spine. "Welcome back." Nao said coldly. "You're late aren't you? I've been waiting for you all this time..."_

_"Nao." Natsuki growled, instantly annoyed that this girl had the nerve to attack her again. I don't have time for this, she thought to herself while struggling against the bindings. It was as before though, she didn't have a chance at breaking them. _

_Lime green eyes focused on her struggling form, twinkling with amusement. "You know this wound still hurts, it aches actually. It doesn't stop, no matter how many guys I entangle." Nao slipped those dangerously sharp talons underneath Natsuki's chin, allowing the tips to graze the tender flesh there. "Looks like it's useless unless I kill you..."_

_Natsuki grimaced, trying to lean her head back enough to keep those talons from digging into her throat. She swayed lightly, feet dangling just above the floor. Damnit why did she keep falling into Nao's traps? It seemed every time she was deep in thought she ended up being captured by her!_

_Nao mindlessly kicked aside a shattered picture frame holding an image of a young Natsuki, her dog along with her mother and father. "This apartment... It's paid for by your parents' money, isn't it?"_

_Natsuki snickered, not wanting to go into her life business with someone like Nao. "Mind your own damn business."_

_Nao smirked up at Natsuki who was now hanging, body entirely bound by Julia. "Quite different from my life..."_

_"Obviously. You go hunting for men using your body as payment..." Natsuki ground out through clenched teeth, hoping to hit a nerve._

_"I don't those scum bags touch me! That won't serve my purpose." For a brief moment Nao seemed to lose her calm demeanor but she recovered quickly enough. "Those guys barged into somebody else's house to swipe a little money. This is my family we're talking about here!" She growled. "By the time I returned Mama was the only one..." She paused, grinding her teeth against one another. "The adults pretended to be kind, threw me in an orphanage and that was it. The ones who broke into my house eat three meals a day and sleep peacefully in jail...." Nao's voice softened, cracking slightly. "But I don't sleep anymore... It won't stop." Her eyes drifted about the room almost as if she were in a daze._

_Natsuki furrowed her brows at hearing all of this. She'd never imagined Nao had gone through so much in her short life. Something resembling sympathy made itself known in her chest. "Nao..." She said softly buy was cut off._

_"I won't let you take anymore!" She howled, placing one hand on her hip. "Nothing else..." Her element hand was brought to her mouth and licked as she glared up at the emerald eyed biker. "I will not lose." Her tone was absolutely serious; she meant to kill Natsuki this time._

_"What are you planning to do?" Natsuki finally asked, her face etched from stone._

_Nao as cool as ever simply smirked. "You're the bait to lure her out. Right, kitty cat?" She mock clawed the air and mewed._

_How true her words had been. Behind Nao, through one of the broken, windows rose Shizuru. "Natsuki. So this is where you were." She stated flatly, an unstable smile crossing her lips._

_"Shizuru!" Natsuki said, brows furrowing deeply._

_Nao simply smirked. "Didn't think you'd really come." She smirked with false shock._

_"I did because I love Natsuki." Shizuru said as if it were the simplest answer in the world as to why she'd shown up. Nao growled, instantly enraged by such a brash statement and shot forth with her red spider web like strings. Shizuru fell back from view, easily avoiding the shot intended for her._

_"Are you an idiot or what?" Nao spat while on the back of Julia, leaping to the safety of a nearby rooftop. Natsuki was taken along for the ride of course. "Love, attraction, affection..." Julia landed roughly on the rooftop and turned to face the oncoming Shizuru. "The only person you can trust is yourself!"_

_Natsuki's eyes widened at hearing that comment from Nao. She herself had uttered damn near the same exact words when she'd first arrived at Fuka Academy. Nao watched the edge of the building but Shizuru wasn't forthcoming. The ground beneath her began to tremble and her lime green eyes widened slightly. Julia leapt safely out of the way just as the monstrous Kiyohime broke through the building from below. "Did you think I would fall for the same trick twice moron?" Nao yelled triumphantly. Julia shot a stream of webbing toward Kiyohime, tangling its many heads and effectively stopping it for the moment._

_"You're the moron." Shizuru said from right in front of Julia and Nao, swiping her element into action and severing the front legs of Nao's child. Natsuki was freed from her bindings in the process and fell painfully to the concrete below, grunting upon impact._

_"Julia!" Nao screamed as her child, along with her, toppled over. The naginata came close to cutting her in half as well but at the last moment Nao evaded the attack and jumped backwards out of the way._

_Shizuru smirked and brought her element to her side. "Kiyohime." She calmly said._

_Natsuki pushed herself from the ground and watched the scene in horror. "Shizuru!" She called but it fell on deaf ears._

_Nao stepped back watching in utter shock as Julia was torn to shreds by Kiyohime. "You're joking... But this is..." She stammered, eyes widening. "Julia!" The spider like creature was crushed between the mouths of Kiyohime, left as nothing more than burning green embers on the rooftop. Nao crumpled to her knees. "Ma.. Ma.."_

_Shizuru stepped into frame from the side. "Do you think this evens the score after what you did to Natsuki?" Her voice was dead serious. Nao slowly turned her head, eyes wide with fear. This was the end for her; she knew it was over at this moment. Shizuru raised her element and behind her Kiyohime prepared to attack at his master's word. _

_"Stop it!" Natsuki cried out, stepping between Shizuru and Nao. This shocked both other girls.. Especially Nao._

_Shizuru blinked, lowering her weapon slightly._

_Nao looked up wide eyed at the back of Natsuki and simply whispered... "Why are you...?"_

_Natsuki lowered her gaze toward the ground. "You are I are similar." Memories of meeting Shizuru for the first time flooded her mind causing her body to tense. Natsuki also lured people in and then used them for her own benefit. Just like Nao... But why had she felt so differently these past few days? "The reason I was able to avoid becoming like Nao was because you and the others were there for me..." She admitted while locking eyes with crimson._

_Her heart began to thud painfully against the inside of her chest, causing her gaze to soften. "I should have noticed sooner." I should have stopped pushing my feelings aside for you, Shizuru. I never... should have used you. "My precious person." A feeble smile crossed her lips and she closed her eyes, summoning her pistols to her hands. They're lifted and aimed at the crimson eyed beauty._

_The shock of having those pistols pointed at her soon faded and Shizuru smiled sweetly toward Natsuki. "It seems your powers have returned. I'm glad. Just before coming here, I destroyed the First District's Headquarters." She lowered her naginata. "But there are still things left here and there to tend to. So will you wait for a while? You do belong to me, after all." She smiled that same tender smile before turning and stepping off of the side of the roof. Kiyohime was there of course and took her away..._

_Natsuki stepped to the side of the ledge and sighed. "Shizuru!" She called out but it was in vain, the girl had already vanished. Behind Natsuki, Nao sat on her knees crying... She'd been defeated. Her mother was no longer of this world. The agony that filled her soul was unlike any she'd felt before. Natsuki turned and sighed once more, brows knitting in frustration. "The Hime Destiny... I won't allow it to consume me." She whispered under her breath. "Right, Mai?" Her eyes focused off in the distance._

_---_

_She has her powers back. That can only mean that she's realized who her most important person truly is. There's only one person that it could be and that's you, Shizuru._

_You think so?_

_Of course! No one else deserves to be in Natsuki's heart more than you. Look at how much you have done for her. You've slain her enemies; you've taken care of those who wish to harm her. No one else has been there for her like you, Shizuru._

_That's true. I do everything for Natsuki._

_You've killed for Natsuki. You're hands are stained with the blood of hundreds..._

_All for the sake of **my** Natsuki..._

_You'd do anything for her, wouldn't you?_

_Anything at all for **my** Natsuki..._

_Shizuru's head was dizzy from the events that had just transpired. She felt drunk. Her body swayed slightly as she walked the short distance to her destination... An affiliated business of District Ones. If she were drunk it would have to be blood drunk. She'd killed so many in the span of only a few days time. It was indescribable, the feeling, the pure rush of adrenaline as her victims begged for their lives._

_As she walked the halls, element in hand Kiyohime took care of those who dared to flee. One by one each person that crossed her path was cut down, screams dying in their throats as they bled out on the floor. A permanent disturbed smile tugged the corners of Shizuru's mouth as euphoria filled every inch of her body. This was for her beloved. This was all for her... _

_Kill them._

_I have to kill them._

_Each and every one of them._

_They all deserve to die for their sins._

_I'll be their judge._

_I'll be their executioner._

_All for **her**._

_Everything is for **her**._

_Wicked laughter filled the ears of the damned as they were ripped to shreds. It was more of an intricate dance than murder... The way Shizuru glided through the halls picking apart those who would dare to stand in her way. Lambs to the slaughter, that's all they were. In that building alone the death toll rose by forty-five. _

_What about the ones hiding?_

_Her inner voice taunted her to kill every breathing soul left inside that building. With her mind already cracked she simply grinned and wandered into one of the many various office rooms. This particular room housed a generator cooling unit which kept all of the systems inside of that room from overheating. They were after all highly advanced machines that were most of the time overloaded and constantly running code and other information for the scientists that used them. _

_Using her element she sliced cleanly through the generator box sending sparks flying this way and that. It took no time for the sparks to catch onto papers that were scattered about and soon a blaze had erupted in the room. Shizuru eyed her handy work proudly but as she turned to leave something caught her eye. With brows furrowed she lifted a manila folder from one of the desks. Stamped across the front was the name S. Kuga._

_Natsuki's mother? Was all she could guess before opening the folder and scanning the contents. Inside was a file on the scientist named Kuga, along with a photograph attached to the personal records. Shizuru studied the photo for a long moment. The woman looked just like her Natsuki... Rather, Natsuki looked just like this woman. "Was this why you hated District One so much, Natsuki?" She asked aloud when her eyes read across the information explaining Natsuki's mothers death._

_"Natsuki is mine now... Only mine..." She murmured in a distanced voice, holding the edge of the folder to the flames and allowing it to catch. It burned up half way in her hand before it was dropped to the ground, now nothing more than ash. Shizuru turned and exited the room, vanishing along with her child. Any remaining survivors would soon perish in the flames._

_That was fine, wasn't it? Because it was all for Natsuki..._

_---_

_All she saw upon arriving were the many daggers heading straight for her friend's back. Mai was her friend, right? There was no time for hesitation. Producing her guns the daggers were destroyed with several well placed ice bullets. "Mai!" Natsuki cried out as she took aim on the figure that had been attacking the carrot top. Her eyes widened in slight surprise. "Shiho?" _

_The momentary distraction, also known as Natsuki, ended up causing Shiho to get blasted from Mai's child. This wasn't going to end well. Emerald eyes focused on the crumpled form of Shiho and then Tate who ran onto the scene almost immediately. She grimaced; no this wasn't going to end well at all._

_Stepping aside she looked upward at the battle ensuing between the two winged child's of Mai and Shiho. Then came the request from Tate that shocked everyone. "Tokiha! Shoot down that beast!" No... That would.. Natsuki watched in horror as Shiho's child was suddenly split clean in half. Mikoto landed in a crouch not far away. Natsuki gasped... It was over._

_Tate collapsed to the ground, slowly beginning to fade as Mai knelt over him, tears streaming down her face. Her cries echoed in the darkness. It was heart wrenching. Then... He disappeared completely. "Mai..." Natsuki whispered, trying to fight back her own tears. With Nao it had been different; she hadn't truly cared for that girl. But here with Mai, watching her lose another important person was completely devastating._

_"Yuuichi." Mai said flatly and then stood, trying to walk away from the madness._

_Natsuki bit her lower lip and then darted after her friend, grabbing her shoulders. "Mai..." She said but the carrot top pushed her away. Natsuki's eyes began to water and she leapt forward, wrapping her arms around Mai from behind. "Mai stop!" She said just as her friend crumpled to her knees, taking Natsuki with her. A guttural cry escaped her friend's mouth but all she could do was hold her. Inside her heart was breaking for her friend, but there was nothing she could do to ease the pain radiating from the other girl. So she just held on. Held on to whatever was left._

_---_

_This place..._

_It seemed like she'd been ending up here quite a lot lately. Normally this cliff was a place she avoided but today she was here on her own free will. Sakomizu-sensei stood behind her a ways, trying to give her the space she needed right now._

_"I don't know why an intelligent person like her took such an action." He said suddenly, pulling Natsuki from her daze as she stared off into the distant ocean. "But Dr. Kuga did care about you. I think that's an undeniable truth."_

_Natsuki sighed inwardly, her gaze softening the slightest bit. "I'll believe in the mother inside of me. So... I don't care anymore." Lies. The bitter truth still gnawed at her insides. "People probably ponder and make mistakes because they have something important. Because... That something is truly important." She had something important, didn't she? Was that why she'd made so many horrible mistakes? That something important was probably lost to her now._

_"It might be." Sakomizu-sensei said thoughtfully and then sighed. "Fujino-san was... Well in love with you... That's why she did such a thing."_

_Natsuki cringed at the word. Love. Shizuru loved her? No... Shizuru thought she loved her. If she knew the truth of everything that love would surely turn to bitter hate. "Then... I'd rather not understand love." It would be easier to deny her own feelings. But easier for who? Just for her. Could she deny the feelings growing inside of her? Doubt was finding a way into her mind._

_"But because there is love, people are able to live." He said, shocked to hear such depressing words from his student. This seemed to get through to her because Natsuki turned and gave him a weak smile. That brought a smile to his face as well. "I wish you good luck."_

_Good luck? She was going to need much more than luck, but even with that there was no way she was going to survive what was to come._

_Shizuru... You loved me. No. You loved the person you believed me to be. I wish I could be that person for you. I wish so much that I could change what I've done and just... Start over. Life isn't like that though, is it? I've done so much wrong I doubt I could ever repent enough. I wish I could tell you the truth, just come clean about it all. God I wish a lot..._

_If things had turned out differently there would be so many things I would say to you._

_Like..._

_When the sun bathes your pale flesh in its rays you look utterly angelic._

_At night, under the light of a full moon, those alluring crimson eyes call to my heart._

_I steal glances at you and each time my breath catches in my throat._

_Late at night when I am alone in my bed it's you that haunts my dreams._

_I used you since the first day I met you._

_You were nothing more than a pawn in my sick game to gain revenge against those that destroyed my life._

_I knew you were falling for me and I took those feelings and manipulated them into something dark and disturbed._

_You're a puppet._

_You're my... Scapegoat._

_I Love You..._

_Her heart ached inside her chest. She knitted her brows together and swallowed hard. In her mind knew what she had to do. It was time to atone for Shizuru's sins as well as her own. Maybe in death she cold find the peace she sought. Perhaps Shizuru could find her peace as well. In death could they both have what they desired?_

_---_

_She's entered the classroom expecting to have a moment of reflection but instead she found Mai stuck in her own moment. A gentle smile was given before they both decided to take a long walk outside. Perhaps having someone to talk to wouldn't be quite so bad. In all of her years Natsuki had never really just... talked to someone._

_"Say Natsuki... School's fun, isn't it?" Mai asked as they strolled along the battered school grounds. It had really turned into a mess since the 'invasion'._

_They took a seat on a row of bleachers and Natsuki chuckled while surveying the distance. "I never knew you were that academically diligent." Taking a jab at her friend now probably wasn't very nice but that was her way after all._

_Mai chuckled despite everything. "Putting academics aside, everyone's there and it's always filled with energy so I really like school."_

_The sun was beginning to set behind the horizon. Remains of dying light split across the land of Fuka and coated it in a golden hue. It was quite beautiful regardless of the destroyed state it was in. "It was more of a pain to me." Natsuki confessed with a smile._

_"Well you were the ditching queen." Mai smirked, taking her own shot at her friend._

_"Hey shut up!" Natsuki growled, shaking her fist in mock threat. Mai just giggled and stood, leading them off on another short walk through the remainder of the campus._

_"But you know... I want to enjoy it from now on." Natsuki finally said as she turned to face Mai, stopping them once more. "To make up for the days that I didn't." The way she spoke hinted that there might be something left for her to look forward to in the future. However it was all false wasn't it? She knew what awaited her and it wasn't enjoying approaching school days. It was cold, hard truth that in the end would kill her._

_A distant look overcame Mai as she looked at the empty buildings surrounding them. "Yeah." She mindlessly said. Down inside she too knew that the days of carefree school life had passed them by and probably wouldn't be returning._

_As they made their way inside they passed by the wish ribbons. Natsuki stopped suddenly, emerald eyes glancing over the dangling pieces of cloth. Her heart made its presence known, thudding a bit quicker now behind her chest. It had been so foolish, she thought about what she had secretly done when no one else had been around._

_-Flash Back-_

_Natsuki quietly made her way into the now empty building, emerald eyes dancing through the darkness. She was ever vigilant, for to be caught doing what was about to be done would surely be the end of her "bad girl" persona at Fuka Academy. On tip toes she rushed her way to the circular railing and stared at all of the pretty ribbons tied there. _

_"Ugh.." She groaned inwardly at the display of emotions on each ribbon. It was ridiculous after all but... Then why was she here? From one of her jeans pockets she pulled a pale blue ribbon and looked it over. Unfolding it she admired the clean handwriting. She had worked extra hard on this to make sure it looked beautiful. _

_"Shizuru..."_

_That's what the ribbon said on the inside. She twitched her nose and ran a thumb across the black writing. She knew it was a fruitless effort to do something so stupid but... Something had come over her when she saw Shizuru putting her own ribbon on the railing. Inside she had no doubt the name on that ribbon was her own. It seemed only right to return the gesture since... Well since she too had fallen in love with the beloved Kaichou. Despite her horrible manipulation of Shizuru's love for her, she felt guilt... But in that guilt she had her own feelings of love. It was twisted but it was the only way she knew how to do things._

_She tied the ribbon to the railing securely and then turned, chancing one glance back at the fluttering cloth. A sigh passed her lips and for a brief moment her eyes closed, her mind trying to paint an image of what it could have been like..._

_What if she hadn't been a Hime? _

_What if she had met Shizuru and things turned out differently?_

_What if... Her love was pure and without strings?_

_A hand ran through shimmering blue locks, allowing them to spill carelessly back over her shoulders. She'd spent too much time on what ifs... Nothing ever turned out like she wanted, did it? With another sigh she quietly made her way out of the building. It was stupid huh? Dwelling on what could have been._

_-End Flash Back-_

_Natsuki leaned back in the tub sighing. They had come back from walking the campus and Mai had insisted she stay with her for the night; enjoy some good food and a little rest. Who was Natsuki to argue? She wouldn't be able to go home anyway; Nao had really torn her place to shreds. Tenderly she fingered the Hime mark on her side. Damn thing... _

_The door slid open and Mai happily peered inside. "Dinner's ready!" She called._

_Natsuki quickly dipped lower into the water covering her body, a blush evident on her cheeks. "D.. Don't barge in like that!" She scolded._

_Mai chuckled and then tapped her forehead. "Sorry, force of habit." The door closed as she exited without another word. Natsuki shook her head and stepped out of the bath, drying herself off. Dinner actually sounded pretty good right about now and from the smell coming from the kitchen her mouth was salivating in anticipation._

_Clad in a pair of clothes borrowed from Mai Natsuki took a seat in front of the small dining table and licked her lips. The ramen in front of her looked absolutely inviting and smelled heavenly. Oh this was a nice little treat that was for sure._

_"I thought of making it a little more extravagant but you know..." She chuckled while finishing up with the dishes she had started cleaning. "Go ahead and start without me."_

_Natsuki smirked and broke her chopsticks in half, digging right in. After slurping up a generous helping of noodles she purred. "Man its great! Are these really instant noodles?" Hers never turned out that good!_

_Mai took a seat beside Natsuki and smiled while giving a nod. "Yep, but these are special..." Her words threw her into remembering someone who loved her noodles the most. A distant look overtook her and she sighed. Natsuki raised a brow questioningly but could already guess what was on her friend's mind so rather than say anything about it she let her have her moment in peace._

_Night had fallen and Mai had resigned to the bathroom leaving Natsuki alone with her own thoughts. She stood silently at the window, allowing the cool air to breeze gently through her hair. It felt nice on her flush skin. What would tomorrow bring? Her body felt heavy with anticipation... "Shizuru, I will end this for us. I will end your suffering and mine as well. Soon, I promise, I will make everything right."_

_It was quite a sleepless night..._

_---_

_Both stuck in their own thoughts Mai and Natsuki silently made their way out of the building and into the sunlight of the brand new day. How could such a beautiful day hold such an ominous fate for both girls? It was almost too cruel. The sound of a roaring engine caused the two to look up._

_"Yamada!" Natsuki called, shocked to see her partner in crime for so many years standing there with a brand new motorcycle idling in front of him. "This one's on me." He said with a small smile. "Since you were such a good customer. It was fun working with you..." He gave Natsuki a knowing look and then turned to take his leave. _

_With a sigh Natsuki watched Yamada drive away. He had been one of the only constants in her life besides Duran... In a way he had been almost a father figure. "I'm leaving everything up to you Mai." She said suddenly. "There's no way I'm going to make it through this..." Thoughts of Shizuru began surfacing in her mind causing her body to tense. "I'm sorry." But to whom was she apologizing? It was unclear even to her._

_She climbed onto the motorcycle and took a deep breath trying to calm her rampaging nerves. "I'm glad I met you, Mai." She said with a soft smile before tugging on her helmet._

_"Me too..." Mai said quietly, watching as the motorcycle roared to life and then in a cloud of dust sped away. That would probably be the last time she ever saw her friend. As she thought of her own approaching battle she wondered... Would she even make it out of this? It seemed very doubtful._

_---_

_Today is the day. You're waiting here just for her. She said she would come.. _

_She'll be here._

_Natsuki was never one to go back on her word. _

_Shizuru sat calmly drinking her favorite tea. As she swished the sweet nectar around in her mouth she wondered if this would be the last cup she would ever be able to enjoy. Heh, funny the types of thoughts you have right before you know your life is probably going to end. Natsuki was a strong Hime; her powers had returned which made her quite a threat. _

_Natsuki a threat._

_Shizuru had entertained that though once before, a long time before. Never did she envision it being true. However time changes things, and people too. Natsuki was indeed a threat but Shizuru had no intentions on losing the fight. Natsuki was hers; today she would prove just how true that was._

_Before another thought could be formed the wall furthest away from her exploded as a motorcycle came screeching through. Desks were flung this way and that as the bike came to a halt right in the center of the room. The loud commotion hadn't even startled the ever composed Kaichou. She'd been expecting such a brash entrance, this was Natsuki after all. The girl had no sense of elegance..._

_"You're as spontaneous as ever." Shizuru mused, a slight smile tugging her lips. Those crimson eyes narrowed dangerously at the biker who was now meeting her eyes through that helmet._

_"Destroying the headquarters of District One and defeating the other Himes. I can't allow you to keep doing that anymore." Natsuki said in a dangerously low voice. How could she even call Shizuru on her actions when she had been the one to put the girl up to them in the first place? Guilt tried to edge its way into her mind but she pushed it aside. She had to remained focus if she wanted to stand any chance at all against Shizuru._

_"So..." Shizuru stood slowly, staring Natsuki down without waver. "You don't accept my feelings for you then?" How could Natsuki stand there and say such things when it had all been for her in the first place? Silent rage began to build inside of Shizuru, threatening to falter her composure. Quietly she cleared her throat, trying to settle her rattled nerves. So it would come down to this after all, very well. "Then..." The familiar golden aura surrounded Shizuru as she called her element. _

_'Shit...' Natsuki murmured and raised her pistols, firing away. Shizuru easily used her massive naginata to disband the crystals as she leapt over her desk toward Natsuki. "Kiyohime!" She calmly said just as Natsuki revved her bike and sped away through the hall._

_Natsuki don't run, you're going to make this harder than it needs to be! Shizuru screamed in her mind. She didn't want to have to do this but it seemed her blue haired biker was leaving her with no other choice. As Natsuki crashed through a window to bring her outside, one of the many heads of Kiyohime raised high above, looming over her. "I'm sorry, I really had no intention of hurting you." Shizuru said in her slightly disturbed voice. She was perched atop one of the heads, element loosely in hand at her side._

_"Shizuru!" Natsuki called out as she stopped and peered up at the brunette. She was as beautiful as ever... Even like this. What a time to be having these sorts of thoughts!_

_"But Natsuki...." She switched to holding her element with both hands, readying to strike it seemed. "I do still love you."_

_At the mention of the word Natsuki's stomach twisted into knots. How could this girl still love her after everything? But she didn't know, did she? All of the manipulation, the lies, the way she'd been used all of this time. 'Oh Shizuru.. What have I turned you into?' Natsuki asked herself._

_"So even if you hate me..." Shizuru said slowly, deliberately drawing out her words. "I will make you mine." Her crimson eyes watered the slightest bit but she remained unwavering in her assault. "Kiyohime!" She yelled and her child immediately heaved out a blast of plasma toward Natsuki. The biker, ever quick on the defensive, hit the gas and sped out of the way just before the blast reached her._

_With the only option of escape being the edge of the rooftop she gunned it and soon was flying high through the air. Quickly she threw off her helmet and pushed off of the bike, letting it fall just as she began to. "Then I will stop you." Her elements came to her hands in a brilliant flash of blue light. "With everything I got! DURAN!" She screamed and instantly ice surrounded her. As it broke Duran appeared but he was three times the size he used to be. Charged on Natsuki's new found emotion he was now a sizable match for Kiyohime. _

_"The Child." Natsuki said as she stood atop Duran's snout, preparing for the true battle about to ensue. "An abnormal one born from the affection for a loved one. The stronger the affection, the stronger the child." She flashed her pistols, emerald eyes narrowing in challenge._

_Shizuru looked on from atop her perch on Kiyohime. The words Natsuki spoke soaked in after a brief moment. So... Natsuki had that much emotion for her? A knot tied its self in her stomach causing her hard exterior to crack. How could Natsuki say something like that? A wave of dizziness washed over her, cheeks beginning to turn red from anger and frustration. The reality of the situation began to set in. Natsuki didn't love her. Everything she had done was in vain... The biker could never return such a detestable feeling. _

_No._

_Natsuki was hers. Nothing was going to keep Shizuru from claiming what was hers. "Do you hate me that much!?" She screamed, lunging forward with Kiyohime. Hate me Natsuki, hate me with every fiber in your being but I will make you mine. I... I love you... Can't you see that!? Every nerve was on fire, every emotion raged like a fire consuming her entire being. Her breathing became ragged, labored and a thin sheen of sweat formed on her brow. _

_The fight continued on the ground as Natsuki avoided the lunge from the naginata by tucking and rolling out of the way. Shizuru leapt to the ground and turned but found her self being fired upon by those damned pistols. Quickly she dodged, weaving her way out of the line of fire and making her escape into the chapel. Natsuki growled and pursued, but didn't see the giant Kiyohime lunging from behind. At the last second Duran stepped in and rammed Kiyohime, keeping Natsuki from being devoured. The bluenette ran straight for the chapel but as she entered one of the massive heads of Kiyohime struck the tower... Emerald eyes focused upwards and widened._

_Shit._

_The huge bell that hung above was falling, even if she leapt now she'd never clear it in time. With a loud CLANG it surrounded her, encasing her inside. Shizuru turned and smirked, slinging the retractable whip like blade forward. It wrapped around the bell and shattered it to pieces, ensnaring Natsuki at the same time. The biker gasped as she was jerked forward but to her surprise it was the warm arms of Shizuru that she was greeted to, not the sharp end of that naginata._

_Her eyes widened as she realized Shizuru was hugging her. She had been defeated. True her child still fought outside but her heart... Her heart had been surrendered to the one that held it all along. Emerald eyes watered slightly but no tears were allowed to fall. Slowly she pulled away from Shizuru, staring into those beautiful crimson eyes. Her body tugged her forward, senses failing her... And her lips touched Shizuru's for the first time of her own free will. Crimson eyes widened in shock. Natsuki was... Natsuki was kissing her? Shizuru's brain went into overdrive, she couldn't even begin to process what was happening and then.. It was over._

_Her lips burned._

_Natsuki wrapped her arms around Shizuru and pulled the girl close, keeping their bodies tightly pressed together. "Shizuru.... You were the first one who came to me when I was unable to believe anyone. I wasn't able to return those feelings you had for me back then... Even though I was truly flattered you felt that way about me. I love you too Shizuru..." The words burnt her tongue as she spoke them. Even now as their deaths loomed right before them she was unable to come clean. Oh death... Please wash my sinful hands. "That's why.." She sighed; looking outside at their Child's which were still very much so locked in combat. "Duran! Load Silver Cartridge!" Without hesitation her Child loaded the massive missiles. "FIRE!"_

_Shizuru couldn't believe what she was hearing. Natsuki loved her... The words reverberating through her ears, drowning out whatever else was being said. Warmth enveloped her shocked body and she leaned heavily against Natsuki, strong arms holding her close. Outside Duran shot off the ammunition straight into Kiyohime. A brilliant shock wave of light surrounding both Child's as they blew into pieces...._

_Inside the church began to crumble from the impact of the explosion. Pieces of wood, glass and other debris surrounded Natsuki and Shizuru. It was over for them. Natsuki slowly closed her eyes, her jaw set as she accepted her death, almost welcoming it. Maybe in death she could be forgiven._

_Shizuru closed her eyes as well and nuzzled against Natsuki. She had everything she'd ever wanted there in her arms. "I'm so happy..." She whispered softly as she began to fade along side her Natsuki. Death held no sway. She was truly fulfilled._

_Natsuki allowed a lone tear to escape down her cheek. "I'll leave everything to you now, Mai.." She whispered just as she vanished along side Shizuru. Even though she was taking her final breath some how it felt right to be sharing it with the brunette. Natsuki knew inside she deserved to die... For all she had done to those around her, no, for all she'd done to the woman in her arms._

_Perhaps though, death was even too nice a fate..._


	12. Chapter 12

Well we're back on track with their present time. Okay so there is a lot of dirty laundry about to be aired... And not just on Natsuki's side. Oh man, oh man this is taking quite a turn! Hopefully it will be a good read for all of you! Enjoy and as usual if you have any comments or reviews please feel free to post them. Your comments/reviews are very helpful to the creative process. Feedback is just one of those things that keep authors happily contributing to their stories lol. Also if you have any questions or aren't clear on anything just shoot me over a PM and we can discuss anything ya wanna!

**Not Easily Washed Away**

_"Emotions are for the weak willed, Shizuru. As a Fujino you wear a mask. Forever hold onto that mask, darling. When someone can interpret your feelings, they can destroy you. Never forget that, do you understand me?" Hanako landed another harsh slap across the tender face of the tawny haired girl that stood in front of her after no answer was forthcoming. "I said do you understand me?" She growled._

_Two crimson eyes peeked from under chestnut colored bangs. They were devoid of emotion, dull and seemingly lifeless. Suddenly a very small smile curled the edges of the young girl's mouth and she nodded mechanically. "I understand." She said in a most courteous voice. It seemed the years of abuse suffered at the hands of her mother had finally yielded the end result Hanako been hoping for._

_Her daughter was just as empty as she was._

_Hanako smiled and embraced the girl as a reward. It was a gesture that was not returned on the part of the girl but that was the norm. From the stairwell behind the two Yuudai watched in silence. Inside his chest his heart broke into pieces. His little girl was being transformed into the same cold, manipulative monster her mother was. He knew something needed to be done before the damage was irreversible. So taking the initiative he set to make things right for his daughter once and for all the only way he knew how._

_"Hanako, I would like to speak with you." Yuudai's voice was cold as he stepped into the dining room where his wife and daughter now sat silently eating dinner (though his daughter wasn't eating much of anything on her plate). Cold brown eyes stared up at him as his wife slowly stood and accompanied her husband upstairs. From the table young Shizuru made no sound but rather picked at her meal in silence._

_Upstairs the yelling intensified as Yuudai revealed his plan to divorce Hanako and seek full parental custody of their young daughter. Hanako was enraged, her chest heaved with uncontrolled anger. "How dare you! If you think for one second I will allow you to take my child and turn her into a weak minded fool like yourself..." She was cut off._

_"You're doing nothing but harm to her! She never speaks, hardly does she eat and you beat her like a savage! I cannot allow you to treat her like this any longer, I am taking her and we're leaving Hanako. That is the end of it!" Shizuru's father slammed his hand down atop the wooden dresser as he stared defiantly into his wife's smoldering brown eyes. His own crimson eyes were on fire, rage licking his belly._

_For a long moment they remained staring at one another until finally Hanako flipped her chestnut colored hair and turned away from him. He sighed, his body visibly relaxing. Without another word he turned and began downstairs to retrieve his daughter. "Shizu-chan, I need to speak with you darling." He called tenderly to her as he neared the bottom stair._

_Young Shizuru lifted her head and looked toward the living room before standing from her seat and going to meet her father. As he stepped down onto the floor something sharp hit him in the back and sent him reeling forward. His vision bloomed white and he staggered against the wall, holding himself up while looking down at his chest._

_Warm crimson leaked through the front of his dress shirt and his eyes widened as his chest constricted. From the doorway Shizuru stared, her eyes wide. For a brief moment Yuudai caught eyes with his beloved daughter and then he collapsed._

_On the stairs Hanako stood, her body trembling. She licked her dry lips and tore down the stairs toward the garage leaving Shizuru in shock staring at her father._

_"Papa..." She whispered hoarsely and took one step forward before her mother grabbed her from behind. The only thing she remembered seeing was a burst of white and then darkness as she slumped against the floor._

_When she finally awoke it was in the care of her father's brother, Hajime Fujino. She was informed of what had happened. Her father was dead, as was her mother. She had killed herself after setting blaze to the Fujino estate. It was ruled a murder/suicide by the authorities however enough money greased their palms to ensure everything looked like an accident to the public._

_Shizuru was made out to be the only survivor of a tragic house fire that claimed the lives of both her parents. Her uncle became CEO of Fujino Corporations and she was allowed to stay with him. He was a good man, a decent man who cared for her like she was his own._

_Therapy had been a daily event for three years of her life until she'd managed to push the memories of her tortured past to the furthest recesses of her mind. Eventually she began a new life in a new town and soon enrolled at a school called Fuka._

_The lessons her mother taught her however, never left her mind. She was gracious, courteous, well mannered, garnered respect and was admired by all of those around her. Too bad it was all fake. Yes, the mask she'd created for herself was perfect and she wore it very well._

_Up until the arrival of one Natsuki Kuga._

Crimson eyes twitched behind closed eyelids as she slept enveloped in the warm violet sheets of her bed. Her heart thudded quietly inside of her chest but slowly the beat picked up speed...

_Natsuki Kuga had quickly caught Shizuru's interest. The tawny haired girl hadn't understood her own feelings at first but over time she began to secretly relish in the fact she loved Natsuki. She wanted to be with her as more than just a simple friend. The blue haired girl seemed so out of reach..._

_Shizuru eventually resigned herself to simply being there whenever Natsuki needed her. When she learned of the other girl's Hime abilities though... She became a silent guardian. Many nights she'd returned home in the early hours, her body beaten and bruised from fights to keep Natsuki safe._

_Never once had she spoken about it. _

_Never once had she complained._

_That night with Yukino had been the breaking point. With Nao it was different; she had managed to remain somewhat in control of her emotions. Yukino... broke the last string holding Shizuru's mask in place. When it shattered every dirty secret she'd been hiding came spilling out and her sanity... Fell to pieces with that mask._

Shizuru jolted upright on the bed, her chest heaving. An instant throb began in her temples from the suddenness of her movements. She groaned and slid to the edge of the bed, relishing the coolness of the wood on her bare feet. That dream again, she sighed and pushed a hand through her sweat soaked hair. While pulling in a ragged breath she stood and carefully tried to take a step forward. The muscles were rubbery though and she landed against the wall, bracing her self from falling further. A frustrated scowl found its way across her face.

"Why do I feel so..." She furrowed her brows and brought her hands to her head, rubbing her temples to try and clear some of the grogginess from her mind. It felt as if she'd been drugged but that was impossible. Right? Her skin prickled slightly and eyes narrowed. Something tugged her from the inside and she pushed off of the wall, making her way toward the lone bedroom window. It was raining again. Large droplets smacked into the dirtied glass and rolled down but something else caught Shizuru's attention almost immediately.

_Natsuki,..._

What was she doing outside in the rain? Shizuru tilted her head, concerned crimson taking in the visage of the slumped over bluenette. Her friend looked to be deep in thought but then... She lashed out, striking the ground in a sudden furious rage. As the thunder rolled it competed for volume with the agonizing scream Natsuki unleashed into the night air.

Shizuru's breath caught in her throat and her chest tightened. The obvious frustration radiated off of Natsuki as she slumped over onto the ground, clenching the wet grass between her fingers. Shizuru stepped back from the window just as a bright flash of lightening lit up her face. In it she saw brilliant emeralds staring at her and it sent a shiver down her spine. Why, she wasn't sure.

Outside Natsuki lifted her body from the ground and slowly stood. Her eyes were on the bedroom window where for a brief moment she'd seen a glimpse of crimson staring at her. Drops of water landed on her cheeks, rolling down them and dripping from her chin. It made her appear as if she'd been crying. Those beautiful emerald eyes were deep and darkening more with each passing second. Something she'd been suppressing for so long was beginning to surface and it was slowly taking over.

_That's right Natsuki..._

_It's time to come clean..._

She closed her eyes and turned her head to the right, cracking several vertebras. When those eyes reopened they were dilated and hollow. With an empty expression she stepped forward, boots crunching the moist grass beneath them and made her way toward the house. The door creaked when she slid it open and once again as she closed it. With her back to the kitchen she leaned her forehead against the door and licked slowly over her lips.

"Shizuru." She called out in a haunting sing song voice. "It's good to see you're awake finally." Her voice faded and she turned, scanning the room with her blank eyes. Perhaps she was still in the bedroom. Best to check and see. Those heavy boots thudded against the wooden floor, causing the table to rattle when she passed. She made her way down the long hallway, dragging her short nails along the wall as she went.

Inside the bedroom Shizuru sat on the edge of the bed, brows knitted. She was staring at the bedroom door where the footsteps had stopped. Slowly it slid open and there stood Natsuki, head downcast. There was a different aura around her. Something wasn't quite... Right.

"Natsuki?" Shizuru asked after a moment of silence had gone between them. At the sound of her name the bluenette lifted her head, eyes staring out from behind her still wet bangs which stuck in various directions to her forehead and cheeks. "Are you.."

Shizuru was cut off before she could pose the inevitable question. "Don't worry about me." Natsuki said softly while stepping into the room, sliding the door closed behind her. The brunette watched her troubled friend close the gap between them and seat her self on the edge of the bed. The darkness inside of Shizuru was finally affecting her friend, wasn't it? She frowned, causing her brows to crease down the middle. It was too much to bear, seeing Natsuki slowly being drug down with her.

Natsuki sighed. "I need to talk to you... Shizuru." She said softly, swallowing the lump beginning to form in her throat.

So this was the inevitable conclusion to their relationship, wasn't it? Shizuru lowered her gaze to the floor, steeling herself in preparation for the goodbye she was sure to come. Finally it seemed Natsuki had come to her senses and was going to leave for good. It was for the best after all, was it not? Still Shizuru's heart felt heavy. That heaviness turned to immediate frustration... Was this really what she wanted?

"Just leave, save us both any explanations. They're useless anyway..." She said suddenly but she wasn't quite sure when the decision to open her mouth had been made.

Natsuki blinked. This again? "I already told you." She said, staring into those endless pools of red. "I'm not going anywhere, Shizuru. There is just something I need to say.."

The only thing Shizuru saw in those emerald eyes was pity. That was something she couldn't take. She shook her head fiercely. "I don't NEED your sympathy Natsuki!" She spat the girl's name out with utter disgust.

Natsuki's mouth hung open, her jaw slack as the words bounced around inside her head. Her chest constricted tightly but nothing was going to deter her from the course she was now on. "Shut up.. For once, just be quiet." She said softly, rubbing her temples. Finally she had managed to work up enough courage to spill her guts, confess her sins to Shizuru and the girl was making it ten times harder. Frustrations were quickly mounting and the weight on her shoulders seemed to double as the seconds ticked by.

Across the bed Shizuru swallowed hard. Emotions threatened to spill over; she was quickly losing control of the situation. Her eyes closed and she set her jaw, growling softly under her breath. "I told you that night... I don't want anything to do with you anymore, Nat..su..ki..." She drug that name out, hoping the blow would hit its mark. Shizuru needed this girl out of her life before things spiraled any further out of control.

Heh, how much further could they really go? They'd already hit bottom... Right?

The words bit at Natsuki's heart, tearing holes here and there and leaving it more tattered than it already was. Her hands trembled slightly as they clenched her still damp jeans, knuckles turning white from the strength of her grip. Her mouth felt dry, tongue felt swollen and each moment it was becoming a little harder to breath.

Had it gotten hotter inside this room? She swallowed nervously, feeling a panic attack coming on. Hold it together... Hold it together.. Her mind repeated like a mantra but it wasn't helping. Shizuru was still talking but whatever she was saying couldn't be heard at the moment. Then without warning Natsuki's lips parted and out tumbled...

"I Love You."

"....."

"I always have."

Shizuru sat back wide eyed on the bed, blinking rapidly as the words uttered from Natsuki reverberated through her mind. Natsuki remained on the edge of the bed, her head lowered and her shoulders slumped forward. Again she was defeated by the brunette. Why was that any surprise? It always turned out that way...

_Natsuki loved her?_

Shizuru dropped her head and focused on the wrinkled covers beneath her. Slowly her hands curled around and clutched them to still the trembling that had begun. At first all breath had left her but now it was being sucked in rapidly, her chest was heaving actually. Darkness invaded every inch of her and began to churn her expression into something unrecognizable. All of this time... She had fought for the love of the woman in front of her. Lives had been destroyed, their own included. After everything, they had died but where as Natsuki had been granted life once more.... Shizuru had remained dead.

Uncontrolled emotions surged through her body, tensing each individual muscle. No one understood the depth of the pain and regret that smoldered behind those crimson eyes. She had been forced to bear the burden of her actions alone, penance she'd come to believe she deserved for all the sin she'd committed. The sin brought on by the blue haired girl across the bed. If she'd never come along. If she'd never... No. No! No, this all was her own fault! Shizuru's body began to tremble from the sheer power of the emotions she fought to contain.

"You're too cruel..." She said softly, her voice cold. Natsuki's brows furrowed and she reached out to place her hand over Shizuru's but to her surprise the woman snapped her head upward. Their eyes met and the untold volumes of hatred bled from crimson. It caused Natsuki's breath to catch in her throat.

"Shizu.."

"No!" Shizuru said sharply, her eyes narrowed to slits. "You couldn't love me before... Not like I loved you. Now you sit here and tell me... You've loved me all this time? I died for you.." Her voice cracked slightly.

"I died for you too, Shizuru...." Natsuki carefully said.

"I'm still dead!" The tawny haired Hime spat as she stood from the bed abruptly, sheets falling to the ground around her feet. Her skin prickled, hairs stood on end as hate flooded her body. The darkness that crippled her mind was consuming her once again. Natsuki stood quickly and faced Shizuru head on, emerald eyes glowing intensely.

"Please..." The blue haired girl pleaded quietly, reaching out once again for her friend. Shizuru didn't move. She didn't budge an inch. Even when Natsuki's smooth arms wrapped around her and enveloped her in a hug, she didn't flinch.

Internally Shizuru was breaking apart. Crimson eyes hid behind chestnut colored bangs as she dipped her head forward and rested her chin on Natsuki's shoulder. The raging emotions taking hold melted from her body leaving her devoid, a mere shell. Both corners of her mouth creased and twitched, curling upward the slightest bit to reveal a most sinister grin. From the deepest recesses of her twisted mind something surfaced. Slowly her arms entwined themselves around Natsuki's slim waist and pulled the blue haired girl closer.

"Shizuru..." Natsuki said as she closed her eyes tightly. She was holding onto the other girl for dear life, trying to keep her from losing herself to the demon that lurked beneath. Shizuru was hot to the touch, her skin was on fire and sweat began to pool and collect on the surface. Sharp nails were digging themselves deeply into the blue haired girl's sides, pressing until nearly drawing blood. She winced from the feel of those sharp points burying into her and tried to pull away but the tawny haired Hime kept her tight against her own body.

"Something lurks inside of me..." Shizuru whispered against Natsuki's ear which caused her to shiver from the feel. That voice was so undeniably cold; the edge could have sliced right through bone. Natsuki's brows furrowed and she tried to pull away yet again but Shizuru held her firmly in place. "Do you want to know what it is that's inside?" She asked quietly against that same ear, nipping at it tenderly.

Natsuki's breath hitched and heat began to spread through her body. "It's emptiness." Shizuru continued with a low, deep laugh that rumbled in her throat. "I'm not worth loving, all I do is destroy." She turned, shoving the girl roughly away from her in the process however Natsuki caught hold of her hand and pulled her back.

"Then we're the same Shizuru, because I'm the one that destroyed you first..." Wide crimson met narrowed emerald in an intense battle before Natsuki caught Shizuru's lips in a searing kiss. For one brief moment Shizuru's body went slack against the strong form of Natsuki and her moans were eaten by her blue haired angel...

"Get off of me!" Shizuru yelled, roughly shoving Natsuki backward and effectively breaking the kiss. Her lips still burned from the forbidden touch. Brows knitted together from a mixture of confusion and frustration. Her head spun. Why did Natsuki have to toy with her like this?

"Let me share the burden for once!" Natsuki suddenly cried out, her voice strangled. She looked up to Shizuru, eyes wide.

"It's not yours to carry..." Shizuru murmured, turning away slightly.

Natsuki sighed and closed her eyes. "But it is..." She said quietly. "More than you know."

Shizuru tilted her head in question. "What.."

"Shizuru..." Natsuki cut her off. "If it weren't for me you never would have done those awful things. If there is anyone to blame in all of this, it is me."

A look of amusement overtook Shizuru's beautiful face, she even chuckled the slightest bit. This was seemingly very entertaining to her, which caused a slight scowl to cross Natsuki's face. "What's so funny?" The bluenette asked.

"Natsuki is." Shizuru said flatly, narrowing her eyes. The look of amusement vanished instantly. "I killed those people with my own two hands."

"Because of me." Natsuki looked toward the ground, brows furrowed.

Shizuru snickered and ticked her tongue against the back of her teeth. "It's not like you asked me to do it. Just stop already, Natsuki." She growled lightly. "You're not doing me any favors by pretending to shoulder partial blame for all of this. We ALL KNOW who was responsible for the blood spilt." Her voice hitched a couple octaves. She kept talking but the words were falling on deaf ears.

Natsuki's head was spinning. Sweat began to bead on her brow, making a trail down her temples. So this was it, this was the moment in which she'd chosen to come clean? The words tickled her lips just waiting to spill forth with the secret she'd kept for so very long.

"I used you."

That comment was blurted out with such suddenness that Shizuru almost hadn't heard it over her own talking. Her words trailed off and crimson eyes met with emeralds in confusion. What had Natsuki just said?

"What?" She asked, head tilting slightly causing chestnut colored bangs to fall loosely into her eyes.

Natsuki swallowed and her hands began to tremble as she wrung them together. Each nerve ending in her body was alive and standing at attention. There was no turning back now. "I knew you were a Hime. I broke into your dorm room. That was all me." Her mouth seemed incredibly dry but the words just wouldn't stop coming. It was as if a flood gate had been opened.

"I did it to be sure about the mark I'd seen on your side. Then I got closer to you on purpose. Don't think I didn't know about your feelings for me either. I knew all about them and I used them to my advantage.." She chuckled nervously, eyes shifting around the room. "They really made manipulating you a lot easier. You were right about one thing; you destroyed my enemies without me ever having to ask."

Shizuru had to sit down on the bed; her knees had almost given out. That beautiful face was completely blank and devoid of emotion. Her brain was scrambled, unable to process the words that Natsuki had just said. She blinked rather than make a sound and that apparently gave Natsuki the go ahead to continue because she did.

"You see.. I've been using you this whole time. Well before the Carnival to find out everything I needed to know about District One and especially during the Carnival to ensure they would be destroyed." Her jaw clenched. "The person you thought you cared about **didn't exist**, I made her up." Emerald eyes misted over as she gazed down to Shizuru who had her eyes locked on the floor. She could only imagine what this confession was doing to her.

"In the end I thought killing us both would be fitting. I never expected to develop love for you. It took me by surprise and by then it was too late to turn back and change what I'd done to you. If you found out the truth I knew that love would turn to hate. Instead killing us, no killing you, was easier because I couldn't bear you hating me. At least in death my sins could have been erased. Then we came back and..." Her brows furrowed. "I had to sit and watch you suffer with what you'd done. What I made you do. It was too much." Natsuki took a ragged breath and ran a shaky hand through her hair.

"I came back that night to confront you and end it once and for all. I knew you had sunk so low that you would reject me without hesitation. Then I could put you in the past and forget. You could shoulder the burden alone. You seemed content enough to do just that but when I found you... And then... I saw you die in the back of that ambulance. I couldn't handle it Shizuru, I knew that how much you truly meant to me."

Natsuki furrowed her brows. It seemed the next part of what she wanted to say was actually the hardest. "There was no denying that I was... That I am.. Completely and utterly in love with you." Her words trailed off. She had finally confessed her horrible secret and now she stood in silence. Unfortunately she felt no sense of relief from airing her sins. Instead her shoulders felt heavier than before.

"You see now, this is all my fault. Everything that happened was because I wanted it to. It was all going perfectly according to plan until that night. Until the night you died. I'd lost you for good; at least I thought I had. I wanted to die too at that moment. Everything I had died in that ambulance, and then I knew... I knew you were all I had ever wanted. There's no chance of having that, I know, but I couldn't keep it inside any longer."

On the edge of the bed Shizuru studied the floor with half lidded eyes. There was an internal war brewing behind those eyes. Normally bright crimson were hazed over with a darker shade. "So instead you tell me..." She said slowly, quietly. "And destroy the one thing I had left..."

Natsuki's brows furrowed. "What do you mean?" She asked.

"The only thing left... My idea of you. But that's all it was, isn't that what you said? What I believed was nothing more than a dream that you had put into my head." Her voice trailed off as she tried to soak in her own words.

How could this have been true?

So this entire time she had been nothing more than a mere puppet? Some how that hurt worse than being the sole bearer of an unrequited love. Her brow twitched slightly and she stood, smoothing the front of her shirt with the palms of her hands. Her eyes refused to meet concerned, almost pleading emeralds watching her. What could she say? How did Natsuki expect her to respond to something such as that?

'Oh it's okay... I knew you broke into my dorm room. Honestly I kind of liked it... In a seriously demented sort of way.'

'Natsuki, did you think I was naive to think you weren't aware of my Hime status after all of this time? That's okay... I don't mind that you used me. It doesn't matter now because you're in love with me finally. At last Shizuru gets her happily ever after.'

'I Love You...'

Shizuru bit the inside of her cheek, eyes blinking rapidly as she tried to gauge her own mental stability at the moment. It seemed that stability was slipping rather quickly. She swallowed but her throat was tight, almost suffocating. Bile rose in the back and burned the sensitive skin, causing her mouth to water. It felt like in the matter of minutes her entire perspective on herself had once again shattered. So she wasn't just some deranged lunatic that sought pleasure from killing the enemies of her imaginary lover?

Then what did that leave her as..

A pathetic pawn in a devious game of slave and master?

What did that make Natsuki..

The puppet master that still held Shizuru by her strings?

Her stomach hurt. Was the room spinning? Her brows furrowed and her vision ebbed, she stumbled slightly but to her surprise Natsuki caught her before she could fall. Each touch burned. Slowly she removed the bluenette's hands from her and backed away, looking once again to the floor. So many emotions were coursing through her body that it felt like she was going to be swept away at any moment. What the hell had just happened? Once again her entire world was upside down and she was spinning completely out of control.

It was this girl... Natsuki always had the control.

How true that statement was now that the secret was out, huh? Suddenly anger flared inside of her and those crimson eyes shot upward to meet concerned emeralds. Natsuki took a step back from that look. It was quite scary.

"Shizuru..." She began but was cut off before another word could be uttered.

"Everything was a lie." Shizuru said flatly in a low, menacing tone. "You said the person I fell in love with isn't real.. But I see her standing in front of me." Her voice began to waver along with her sanity. Her hands were shaking; no actually her entire body was shaking. She licked her lips, nervously chewing the lower lip as her eyes shifted from Natsuki to the floor and back again.

"I'm not who you think I am." Natsuki said, wrapping her arms around her self loosely.

"Oh you're right about that, .ki." The way Shizuru said that name caused the bluenette to shiver. Her emerald eyes closed, trying to hide from the crimson boring into them again. "You're a much more intricate being than I ever gave you credit for. Here I thought I had fallen in love with a clueless pup..." That voice had an edge to it now.

Natsuki blinked and focused on those blood red eyes. "Shi..."

Shizuru smiled weakly. "Seems you had even me fooled."

For some reason Natsuki found no comfort in that smile. It was frightening if anything. There was a different aura surrounding the brunette as she stood there. It seemed her shoulders had straightened, her head held a little higher than before and then there was that smile...

"But then again what was it you said..." She tapped her chin thoughtfully. "My feelings for you were nothing more than a lie, was that it?" Her eyes narrowed and she stepped forward, causing Natsuki to take one more step back.

Natsuki licked her lips nervously, suddenly feeling less than at ease around the brunette. "I..."

Again she was cut off as her hand was lifted and held between both of Shizuru's. She swallowed, watching as Shizuru pressed that hand to her chest right above her heart. "Can you feel that, Natsuki?" She asked.

Natsuki gave a single nod.

"It beats only for you." Shizuru allowed her eyes to close, momentarily enjoying the warmth of Natsuki's hand. "My Natsuki..."

The bluenette released a slow breath. Her own heart was beating so fast she feared it was about to jump out of her chest. Her own mind was faltering; she could feel the walls around herself crumbling and her own sanity trying to check out. Oh the cat was out of the bag now and it seemed the truth was going to bring them both down. Wasn't this the most fitting scenario? One uses the other, confesses to relieve her self and now risks losing everything... Including her mind.

_This is everything you deserve for what you've done to her._

_Before you... She was everything anyone could have hoped for in a young woman._

_Look what you turned her into... And you have the nerve to say you love her?_

_What sort of twisted, demented love are you capable of, Natsuki Kuga?_

"Everything that I am was consumed by you long ago. Don't you understand... If you don't exist then neither do I." Shizuru's voice had dropped lower, nothing more than a whisper now as she brought that hand to her mouth and kissed it tenderly. It was allowed to fall afterward.

What did it matter now if she took what she wanted? The last string of sanity that had been keeping her in check was deathly close to snapping. Maybe there was some truth to Natsuki's idea about setting them both free. It seemed they both were too soiled to ever be washed clean in this life. Why not end their suffering now? It would be so very easy.. She could finally have Natsuki all to her self.

In Death.

In a flash of light Natsuki's head was tilted back, the steel blade of Shizuru's naginata pressed to her throat. She swallowed, her chest heaving as she stared wide eyed at the brunette in front of her. Shizuru stood in silence, body trembling, head downcast, eyes hidden by shaggy bangs. Molars ground audibly against one another, muscles coiled and tensed causing the blade of the naginata to shake just slightly.

"Since we're coming clean, I have some things of my own I would like to confess." Shizuru said softly. "I also knew you were a Hime though I wasn't using you. I didn't even consider you a threat, though I probably should have thought a little more on that one, hm?" She laughed sarcastically which only served to further aggravate Natsuki. "On the contrary I thought I needed to protect you even more. Countless nights I would follow you, keeping those that sought to harm you from getting too close. Even before District One I had killed for you."

Natsuki's mind went into overdrive recalling several nights when she shouldn't have made it home alive. She'd had her suspicions but never had been able to confirm them out loud. Now there was no doubt, Shizuru had been her savior all along. A savior that she used manipulated and then left to rot in her own insanity...

Shizuru licked the corner of her mouth and pursed her lips. She wasn't quite done with her own little confession. "Ara, there's more, you see.. Before our battle I destroyed one of the many District One Affiliates. I'm not quite sure what they manufactured but I do know it had something to do with Bio-Mechanical Science. After I had slain every employee I could find I set fire to the building to ensure those hiding would also meet the fate they so deserved..." There was a momentary pause as she replayed the events through her mind. "On my way out I found a file containing information about your mother."

Natsuki's eyes widened, almost doubling in size. What had Shizuru just said? Her heart thumped loudly in her chest. Shizuru just smiled, she could probably hear that heartbeat. "You..."

"I read the file." Shizuru tilted her head to one side. "It told all about your mother's death. How she had been caught trying to trade research for an undisclosed amount of money. I never knew your mother worked for District One, or the reason behind your hate for them. Now I do." A sadistic glint shown in those crimson eyes. "Seems we're both just bastard children, huh, Natsuki? Your mother tried to sell you and mine.. Well mine just tried to outright kill me."

Natsuki stood there as still as a statue but if one looked closer they would see her body was trembling. At her sides her hands were clenched tightly, knuckles white from the stress. What else could have been inside of the file that Shizuru had found? There could have been more information regarding her mother... Things she didn't already know. "Shizuru... What else was in that file?" She asked through clenched teeth.

That question brought a laugh from Shizuru who shook her head slowly back and forth. "Are you really concerned with just that? Well... I'm not quite sure. You see... I burned it all." Now she didn't feel quite so bad about what she'd done. Not after learning what her Natsuki had been capable of. There were so many different sides of Natsuki she was seeing now; it was quite a treat... Yet a bitter one.

"So where does this leave us now, Natsuki?" Shizuru asked coldly, bringing the bluenette back from her momentary lapse in concentration. Before she could say anything though the brunette chimed in with her own thought on the matter. "You know... I think... I think I might like to kill you." Her voice wavered but only slightly. There was so much emotion being held back.

That comment stopped Natsuki's advancement in its tracks. A chill washed over her causing the hairs on her arms to stand at attention. So this was what it was going to come down to? For her sins Natsuki was going to die at the hands of the one she'd tormented for so long. 'It seems only fitting', her inner voice mocked.

Shizuru swallowed, that hard exterior front she'd erected was beginning to show signs of wearing thin. The sheer weight of finding out the truth behind Natsuki's 'friendship' with her felt like a bus slamming into her at full force. At the corners of her eyes tears began to well up but she fought like hell to keep them from falling.

Natsuki couldn't believe her ears. She looked down to the blade at her throat and then up to Shizuru who wouldn't meet her gaze. Slowly the shock started to dissipate, being replaced quickly by anger. Heat spread through her body, tinting her cheeks red and she stepped forward daringly, pressing the blade against her throat. A thin trickle of blood slid down the front of her shirt with the movement.

"Don't..." Shizuru said dryly, keeping her weapon firmly extended.


	13. Chapter 13

I hope you guys liked the little cliffhanger in the last chapter ^_^ Well this chapter is NOT... a happy one. In fact it deals with elements of what happened while Natsuki was 'sleeping'. It's pretty intense and bold in my opinion but... One cannot fully begin to heal until all wounds have been examined. As hard as it was to write this chapter I am actually pretty proud of it. Enjoy and as usual please feel free to leave your comments/reviews or send me a PM. Thank you all for your continued support on this project!

**Not Easily Washed Away**

_How..._

_Natsuki blinked. How... That was the only question lingering in her otherwise blank mind. How what? Well she was standing face to face with Shizuru who had managed to materialize a naginata out of thin air. It was logically impossible since the destruction of the Hime Star, or rather wasn't it supposed to be? Yet here Shizuru stood with her element held firmly between her hands. So.. How!? _

_She wanted to blurt out the question but anger washed over her with such suddenness that she stepped forward. The blade easily cut through the tender flesh of her neck and blood bubbled to the surface, making a line down the front of her shirt. Pain didn't register, she didn't even flinch._

"Don't..." Shizuru said dryly, keeping her weapon firmly extended. Natsuki's emerald eyes flashed dangerously and her hands clenched tighter at her sides. Shizuru had the nerve to pull a weapon on her? Her teeth ground together audibly as she fought to hold back the shock wave of anger rolling through her body. Each nerve was standing on end, muscles tense and ready to explode into action.

Natsuki's keen senses picked up the change in Shizuru instantly. Those viridian eyes narrowed at the sight of Shizuru's thigh muscles cording and tensing along with the muscles in her arms. She recognized the motion before it came; the brunette was preparing to swing. Without hesitation the second Shizuru made a move Natsuki slid backwards and ducked, narrowly avoiding the steel blade of that naginata taking her head off.

Pushing off of the floor she bounced a foot or so back from Shizuru and crouched, hands out at her sides. So Shizuru was serious about this, huh? It seemed the only way this was going to be settled was through more violence. The strange thing was that despite the confession from the brunette Natsuki still didn't want it to come to this. Her jaw clenched as she stared up into those now wide crimson eyes. "You dare pull that thing on me..." She said in a growl.

Shizuru seemed a little surprised at the agile nature of Natsuki, but she shouldn't have been so surprised. She'd seen her in action many times before. "Did you expect something different?" She asked, her tone mocking of course.

Natsuki snickered. "Honestly..." She tilted her head. "No."

The brunette smirked and lunged forward, her naginata again missing its mark as Natsuki bounded to the side and out of the reach of the massive blade. She spun around at the same time Shizuru did and found herself again staring at the point of that weapon. Shizuru was fast, very fast. Emeralds narrowed the slightest bit as she straightened her posture and licked her lips. Maybe she did deserve this, no; she knew inside that Shizuru had every right in the world to want to kill her... But she would by lying if she said she wasn't just a little pissed off. After all... This was Natsuki.

Shizuru lunged forward with a cry but Natsuki again managed to dodge the attack. However, anticipating this, Shizuru swung around quicker than before and caught her by surprise. The sharp edge of the blade sliced the bluenette right across the cheek. Luckily Natsuki had pulled her self out of the way before the blade had done more damage. Still she couldn't believe the speed in which the second attack came. Being surprised was an understatement. Taking a knee, Natsuki lifted a hand to her cheek and cringed. Looking at her fingers they were now coated in sticky red. A low growl passed her lips, Shizuru had drawn first blood.

Shizuru pulled her weapon back the slightest bit and offered a soft, albeit unnerving smile toward Natsuki. As she went to ram the blade forward a blinding light sent her stumbling backwards. She shielded her eyes, lowering her weapon in the process.

Natsuki was completely consumed by brilliant blue explosions of light brought on in the wake of a harrowing scream. "Stop!" Her voice reverberated off of the walls, bouncing back in a shock wave through Shizuru's ears. She blinked and took one step back, crimson eyes narrowing as they fell on the now visible form of her 'friend'.

She stood arms out to either side with pistols in hand. Her palms tickled from the long lost sensation of materializing her elements. Natsuki had no idea how she'd managed to pull it off but it seemed she had the same ability Shizuru did. Quite surprising to say the very least.

The brunette chuckled and lifted her weapon, holding it at her side. "How interesting." She said under her breath, eyeing those pistols. It hadn't been that long ago Natsuki had tried shooting her with them. Seemed they were right back at the beginning of their end.

"Unresolved emotions..." Natsuki said after a long moment of the two of them simply staring each other down. Her breathing was somewhat heavier than before, it seemed the feat took quite a little more out of Natsuki than it had Shizuru.

Shizuru furrowed her brows slightly.

"You and I... We're the only ones that came back and never resolved our emotions for one another. We were both content with rotting in our lies, keeping them hidden rather than divulge them and have the other see us for the monsters we truly were." Natsuki glanced to the floor momentarily. "The monsters we are..." She set her jaw and focused her gaze back on crimson. Both pistols were raised and pointed at the brunette.

"Of course out of every one else... We were the only ones looking to destroy our most important persons. It seems only fitting that once the truth finally comes out... We try to destroy each other yet again. I never wanted it to end like this; I hope you can at least believe that." Natsuki broke eye contact for a brief moment as a remorseful look overtook her face. Willing her eyes to focus back on the red ones in front of her she sighed and squared her shoulders.

"I Love You." She said suddenly. "There's no use hiding it now. You know everything. So you want to kill me still..." A low growl passed her lips. "I don't deserve anything less Shizuru but neither do you, even though that's my fault. However If I'm going to die then I'm taking you with me." Her eyes flashed. "You belong to me after all." A smirk crossed her lips and she cracked her neck from side to side.

Shizuru's eyes widened. For a brief moment her defenses were down and Natsuki took immediate advantage of that. 'Don't lose that cool concentration, Shizuru...' The recoil was harsh; she wasn't used to the feel of the guns in her hands after such a time without them. A barrage of ice bullets whizzed through the air toward the brunette. Crimson eyes blinked as if trying to register what was happening... At the last conceivable second she sliced through the air with her naginata, sending those bullets shattering in opposite directions from her body.

"You're still just as good with that as I remember..." Natsuki said as she inched away from Shizuru who was slowly advancing toward her.

Was Natsuki mocking her at a time like this? "I'm better." Shizuru said darkly, slinging that blade forward. Natsuki smirked, easily anticipating the move and avoiding it however... She didn't count on Shizuru implementing the whip like style of the weapon. Natsuki hit the ground and winced, her side had been sliced quite badly. However it wasn't a fatal wound she quickly noted.

Shizuru wasn't letting up on her attack; with Natsuki down she brought her retracted naginata back and then sliced overhead toward the fallen bluenette. Emerald eyes widened and she pushed her injured body into action, rolling out of the way just as the blade cut deep into the wooden floor. It was a blessing Shizuru couldn't seem to move her weapon as quickly as if she were in the open. That made the naginata a little less effective than it normally would have been at ending Natsuki's life. At this point she would take any small victory she could have.

As she tucked and rolled across the room she unleashed another round of bullets toward Shizuru. Without hassle she dodged each and every one... Except the ones that came lower than the rest. She hadn't noticed them as she dispatched the first initial rounds. As she bounded out of the way one struck her in the leg, causing her to cry out and clutch the injury.

She crumpled to the floor, still holding her leg with her free hand while holding tight to her weapon in the other. It wasn't as bad as it could have been but it was still bleeding. As quick as she could she leapt to her feet with a grimace. Shizuru winced as she put her full weight into her next swing, crying out in frustration as she slung that massive blade toward a wide eyed Natsuki. The agile biker leapt into the air, somersaulting over that weapon all together.

The blade ate through the wall separating them from the hallway sending splintered wood scattering across the floor. Natsuki rolled across the floor and popped back, lunging forward and slamming her shoulder into Shizuru's upper body. The one thing she had going for her was the fact that in such a confined space the advantage was hers.

Shizuru couldn't retract her weapon quick enough which gave Natsuki a chance to disarm her. It had turned into quite the blessing because she didn't want this to continue any longer. Shooting at Shizuru was one thing but actually hitting her was quite another. Despite Shizuru seemed quite content with slicing her open, Natsuki didn't really share the same feeling.

She grunted when their bodies collided. Turning some, Natsuki rammed her knee upward into the naginata at the base, knocking it from Shizuru's hands. Heavy metal clanged loudly against the wooden floor. Shizuru went to grab for it but a harsh back hand across her cheek sent her reeling backwards. She hit the wall with a groan and was instantly pinned by Natsuki's warm body. The girl had an arm wedged under Shizuru's throat, keeping her from moving toward her weapon again.

Natsuki growled out, her face mere inches from Shizuru's own. She kept their bodies tight against one another, that arm wrenched firmly against the other girl's throat which now caused her to gasp for breath. "I love you, Shizuru!" She cried out, those beautiful emerald eyes misting over. Her body began to shake from frustration and anger.

The grip on Shizuru weakened but only slightly as she held her gaze. This couldn't be allowed to continue, as much as she wanted to end it... She couldn't bring herself to kill Shizuru, not again. Maybe... Maybe there was still a way to talk. She had to try, despite her gut telling her otherwise.

"I can't deny my sins any longer... I know what I did was unforgivable but please understand... Some how, please... Understand..." She was past the point of pleading, she was outright begging for this to end. Her sanity hung by a mere thread.

She was losing herself in this battle with Shizuru.

Crimson eyes narrowed to slits as Shizuru fought against Natsuki's hold, trying without success to wrestle out from under her. The arm against her throat pressed harder and she coughed, her air supply being reduced severely.

Natsuki wanted her to understand...

Understand the reasons why she'd done those things...

How could she?

They'd both done things they now regretted but in comparison everything Shizuru had done, Natsuki was actually responsible for. So how could she just... Understand that sort of evil?

But you can understand, can't you Shizuru? Such emotions ran through you too. Think back to that night when she slept...

Shizuru's body numbed and the frustration in her eyes died. Her struggle slowly ceased as memories flooded her mind.

Mm,.. Do you remember? Of course you do... She tasted so sweet, didn't she?

She blinked rapidly. Images of the night in question rose to the forefront of her mind causing her to shiver internally. That night she'd taken Natsuki for herself as the girl remained in a comatose state. She'd never meant for it to happen, something had just come over her...

The same evil that drove Natsuki to use you in slaying her enemies...

It courses through your damned veins as well.

Shizuru gasped as she leaned forward against Natsuki and pressed her lips to the girl's ear. . "I... Raped... You." She managed to choke out in a mere whisper. Afterward her teeth clenched and crimson eyes misted over with regretful tears that wouldn't dare to fall. The hold on her loosened the slightest bit as Natsuki's shoulders dropped.

The final secret had just been released...

Pandora's Box was at last completely empty.

Slowly emerald eyes closed and a weary look overtook a once striking face. For what seemed like an eternity Natsuki stood there against Shizuru with anguish etched across her face. Shizuru leaned back against the wall and took in a ragged breath. Her eyes slowly closed as well once warm tears threatened to spill.

Suddenly she cried out, her eyes popping open wide. Natsuki had leaned forward and sealed their lips, biting hard into Shizuru's lower one, drawing blood. The brunette attempted to shove the shorter woman back but she didn't budge an inch. A stream of blood dribbled down Shizuru's chin, dripping onto the front of her shirt and staining.

Natsuki's docile emerald eyes had ignited with rage. She roughly gripped Shizuru's wrists and jerked her arms above her head, pressing their bodies together in the process. Her lips fell upon the flesh of the brunette's neck and a thigh forced hers apart. Shizuru's mind went into overdrive as she fought against the body that pinned hers to the wall.

The very last string of sanity snapped. There was nothing left to hold back to once dammed emotions now overwhelming the dark haired Hime. She no longer had control over the darkness consuming her soul. It devoured every thing she once was and what was left was the dark eyed monster raging out of control.

"Natsuki!" She cried, her body going rigid. Pain shot up from her injured leg causing her to whimper the slightest bit. Blood continued to ooze from the wound, dripping across the wooden floor.

Rather than answer, the dark haired girl bit into Shizuru's neck once again causing her to groan. As far as Natsuki was concerned the whimpers and cries were due to the roughness in which Shizuru was being handled. That thought made her smirk for some unknown reason. Maybe it was the new found power she felt surging through her at taking such an outward domineering presence for once. She'd always played the part of the naive pup. This would be the first time she took control and asserted herself in front of Shizuru. It was quite a change from the blushing school girl.

Her free hand roamed across the front of Shizuru's top, tugging at the shirt until a ripping sound filled the room and the cloth was laid open. Without hesitation Natsuki reached into the fabric and grabbed hold of Shizuru's right breast, massaging it roughly. The brunette bit into her lower lip harshly, trying to keep from outright screaming.

What the hell was happening here!?

What was this aura surrounding Natsuki? Darkness seemed to roll off of her in waves and it caused Shizuru's stomach to tighten. "Is this what you would dream about late at night in your bedroom?" Natsuki snickered, letting a low, almost evil laugh rumble in her throat.

Shizuru shivered at the sound of the other girl's voice. It had become cold, no... Sinister. The edge cut through her like a knife, sending goose bumps across her flesh. Natsuki tore Shizuru from the wall and forcefully pushed her onto the bed, pinning her there and taking a dominant position above her. She leaned down and kissed Shizuru once more; seizing those lips and claiming them as her own. Between them one of her hands slid down and found its way into the front of Shizuru's lower coverings.

The first thought was the warmth she felt radiating from the brunette's center. How inviting it felt as she massaged through those cotton panties. Her mouth began to salivate at the idea of how Shizuru might taste on her tongue. There was even a little pink tinge to her cheeks as the various dirty thoughts invaded her mind. She could feel Shizuru trembling beneath her touch but to her it was surely from the pleasure she must also be feeling. How twisted her mind had become in such a short amount of time.

The kiss was suddenly broken but Natsuki allowed her own to remain close enough to brush against the plump, swollen ones in front of her. "I used to..." She confessed in a whisper. "I would imagine what it would be like to kiss your perfect lips." And she did touch those lips with her own once more, but only briefly and much harsher than Shizuru would have liked. "To have your body... All to myself." A low growl passed into the cool air surrounding them. The voice in the very back of her mind tried to reason with her but the demon making its self known was much more powerful.

"Natsuki..." Shizuru breathed out the name quietly, shivering from the extreme rush of adrenaline coursing through her. Her body trembled under the weight of the other girl. She'd never felt a fear like that burning her skin at this very moment. Emerald eyes glistened and a most evil smirk took over Natsuki's face. The crimson eyes reflected in them showed fear for the first time. However inside of the fear there was another emotion. It was some twisted form of pleasure, something distorted and not quite right. Arousal? Was it possible that some how this Natsuki, despite being scary as hell, was turning her on? There was no more time to think about it...

Shizuru suddenly cried out as two fingers invaded her core, thrusting upward inside of her. Blood trickled from her opening and she screamed, sliding her hands between herself and Natsuki, trying to push the other girl off of her. Natsuki reached with her free hand and snatched the brunette's wrists, again pinning her arms above her head. She used one of her own thighs to force Shizuru's apart and pushed her fingers deeper, rocking her hips to the motion.

Her teeth sank into the brunette's throat and she sucked, leaving a deep red mark across the normally pale flesh. Shizuru was hers... And she was being marked accordingly. At least that was how Natsuki viewed her handy work when she would survey each new red splotch before moving to another piece of flesh. Shizuru bucked her hips, crying out from the explosion of feeling overriding her senses.

Her heart thudded against the inside of her chest and her eyes were wide and fixated at the ceiling above. She struggled but found it almost impossible to move with the way Natsuki had her against the bed. A cry echoed from her throat when another finger pressed inside of her. Hips bucked again and she squeezed her thighs but Natsuki's prevented her own from closing.

Managing to free one hand, Shizuru reached around and gripped the back of Natsuki's shirt bunching the fabric between her fingers. She tried to pull but only succeeded in ripping the shirt slightly with her nails. Another thrust caused those same nails to dig down into Natsuki's flesh, bringing pinpoints of blood from underneath the delicate surface. "Please..." Shizuru whimpered while clawing at that tender flesh. Natsuki grunted but made no move to recover the freed appendage, in some strange way the struggle and pain intensified her passion.

Shizuru was seemingly utterly helpless as Natsuki continued her assault, biting roughly into her neck and sucking in a new spot now. The fingers she'd once dreamed of igniting her desires brought only searing pain as they ripped through her innocence and buried deep within her core. Breath was elusive, forcing her to gasp with each thrust from the dark haired girl. Her mind was a whirlwind; she couldn't believe what was happening... It was all so very surreal.

How had it come to this?

A ripple of distorted pleasure rolled through Shizuru's body followed by a hot explosion of passion. Soon she was nothing more than a quivering mess underneath Natsuki, panting for her next breath. She whimpered, biting hard into her lower lip at the realization of what had just happened. She'd gotten her wish. Natsuki had brought her to the heights of pleasure but had managed to make it oh so very bitter...

For a long moment Natsuki remained atop Shizuru, her breathing heavy and irregular. Finally those fingers removed themselves and she lifted up, settling on the edge of the bed. Shimmering locks of dark blue hid her face from view. A new sensation had overtaken her body, consuming it entirely but she couldn't quite place what it was.

She didn't notice when the tears began spilling down her cheeks. In a single moment she had managed to utterly destroy everything. She wasn't exactly sure when control was completely lost, just the feeling of undeniable rage and emotion surging through her urging her on. Now it felt like there was a hole where her heart once sat. Ah, so that was it. The feeling... It was emptiness. Was this how Shizuru felt for all of this time, was this what she'd described? It was horrible but yet some how fitting.

Natsuki couldn't manage to turn her head, those emerald eyes wanted to look every where but at the crimson eyed girl behind her. The bed hadn't shifted since she'd moved so she knew Shizuru was still there. She couldn't bear the thought of looking her in the eye, not after what had just happened. Instead she sat there with her head downcast staring a hole in the floor. Her jaw clenched and her teeth ground silently together as regret gnawed at her gut.

Shizuru laid there atop the sheets the tears she'd been holding back for so long finally allowed to spill down her cheeks freely. Inside confusion swirled throughout every fiber of her being. Natsuki had... She shivered at the mere idea as she eyed the back of the very woman who had just taken what little innocence she had left.

There were no words to describe the mixture of emotions coursing through the brunette. She felt empty, like the last shred of what used to be had finally been torn away. Her insides burned, every inch of her body felt... Dirty. How she wanted to cry out, to curl into a feeble position on that been and release her frustrations into the cool air surrounding them. Not a sound would come though; the feeling of defeat silenced every cry that wanted to come forth...

Slowly Shizuru shifted and rose from the bed, retreating down the hallway and disappearing into the bathroom without a word. The door clicked shut behind her. She stood before the hanging remnants of mirror behind the door. She could see her battered form clearly in the shattered pieces. Slowly she pulled her eyes from the sight and moved to the sink, filling her hands with water. The beads rolled down her cheeks and neck, cooling her feverish skin and then were gingerly wiped away. As the towel uncovered her eyes she focused on a small razor blade situated on the side of the faucet.

Her insides twitched.

Delicate fingers traced the edge of the blade and then it's lifted, examined by those dull crimson eyes. The edge cleanly sliced through the tip of her index finger, causing her to cringe slightly and put it back on the counter. That was the first time she'd felt pain and recoiled from it in months.

Her brows furrowed deeply as she cradled her head with her hands and warm tears began to trail down her cheeks once more. She took a step and winced slightly. Concern filled her eyes as she reached down between her thighs. Examining her fingers she noticed there was red coating them.

She needed to bathe.

The water was warm, that was something she hadn't allowed herself the pleasure of in quite a while. It soothed her aching body and helped take attention away from her bruised core. She reclined slightly and let the water cover her completely. Internally she shivered as memories of what had transpired just moments before came to the forefront of her mind. Never before had she thought something such as that would happen... Not with Natsuki.

_**You deserved it...**_

_No..._

_Not this..._

The voice inside her mind screamed in rage causing her eyes to close tightly once again and her head to drop. It was true, wasn't it? Everything that had just happened to her she deserved. What all had she done to Natsuki when she was sleeping? Her cheeks flushed in remembrance and she was invaded with feelings of regret. Still she wanted to cry out. Her lips pursed and she gritted her teeth but as the sound was about to leave her lips she stopped her self. There was no use crying was there?

---

_You took everything away..._

The last thread of what once was had been severed. Erratic emotion and insatiable desire had finally bested the bluenette.

_What a disgrace..._

Natsuki stood with her shoulders slumped forward staring into the near empty room. Shadowed emeralds scanned the blank walls with equally blank interest. As moonlight graced her paled face from the window, remnants of tear trails were quite visible along her cheeks. With languid, uneven steps she ventured into the room and slid the door closed behind her. Why was she here, what had brought her to this of all rooms?

Whatever the reason something had urged her into this room. Carefully she lowered down into seiza, unsure why she chose to use that uncomfortable position again. Her eyes roamed over a dusty shrine situated in front of her. There were a few candles lying around but she didn't bother lighting them, the darkness seemed to suit her.

Through the darkness she released a sob, fresh tears springing from her eyes. What had she done? Her body shook from the sheer power of the emotions tearing her apart on the inside. Lowering her head to the floor she pounded her fist against the surface, crying out once more. How low she'd finally sunk... For a long moment she remained in that position.

When she finally had the strength to sit up her tears had finally stopped. With blank emotionless eyes she stared into the darkness in front of her. Everything inside of her had died. There were no more emotions left to cry out... They'd all but dried up on the wooden floor. Pulling her eyes from the endless darkness she focused on the shrine in front of her and sniffled.

Her eyes suddenly widened when they fell upon a long, leather instrument with what looked like several leather braids coming out of the top. Upon closer inspection she noticed the silver fittings along the braids and it caused her to cringe the slightest bit. Hoisting it into one hand she eyed it cautiously. This was the item responsible for the vicious wounds that had lined Shizuru's back when Natsuki had first discovered her on the bathroom floor.

Her fingers glided through the braids, letting their weight settle in the palm of her hand. Those beautiful viridian eyes glossed over, growing darker as she unbuttoned the shirt from her upper half. It was laid aside, leaving her bare from the waist up. "Did this ease your suffering, Shizuru...?" She asked in a whisper while rolling the cat of nine tails between her hands.

Curiously she flicked it over her shoulder and let it land gently against her left shoulder. Her lips quivered at the feel of the leather brushing her flesh. The second slap was just as gentle as the first but the third had a little more force behind it. A soft gasp passed her lips; she could feel heat rolling off of her shoulder from that last smack. There was another sensation though.. One not of heat but rather... Something else coming off of her.

Her lower lip was sucked between her teeth and chewed tenderly as she contemplated her sudden actions. How pitiful this seemed, to be sitting here doing something she'd reprimanded Shizuru so harshly for not that long ago. For some reason though she couldn't help her self. It seemed the instrument had a will of its own... It came down across her shoulder with even more force than the third strike. This time she actually yelped.

That will never do...

You've sinned...

Your punishment should be silently accepted...

Her mind swirled as she lowered her head and relaxed her tense shoulders. With the release of a slow breath she brought that cat of nine tails back against her shoulder, turning it red from the force of the impact. This time only a soft gasp was her response. She closed her eyes and continued to whip her shoulders, switching from the right to the left for several more high impact strikes. The silver lined braids eventually cut into her flesh and caused the red marks to actually bleed down her back.

'Was this how it felt for you, Shizuru?' She questioned in silence. Each strike grew in severity, fueled by the memories of events that transpired not even an hour ago. How could she have done such a horrible thing to the one she supposedly loved? Her jaw clenched causing her teeth to grind together painfully. The discomfort in her mouth was overshadowed by each harsh crack of that black cat of nine tails. Braids danced across her back, splattering blood this way and that with each new mark it created.

Natsuki's breath hitched, her chest rose and fell at an alarming rate. Adrenaline was pumping through every inch of her body. It caused the pain inside to dull which only made her rip and tear at her back even more feverishly than before. Finally she cried out, falling forward onto her palms. Sweat beaded around her forehead, sliding down the sides of her face as she stared at the wood floor beneath her. She could feel each drop of blood as it slid down her back. It was cold for some reason and caused her to unintentionally shiver.

As the cool air from the room washed over her flayed skin she cringed and allowed her eyes to close. How could Shizuru have felt relief from her 'sins' by committing such an act against her own body? Natsuki found no relief, just another sense of frustration. No... There was no relief for her because there was no turning back from this. What had happened was an ending to anything that could have been, or that ever was for that matter. The weight of this realization sat heavily on her shoulders.

Natsuki's brow quivered and slowly she leaned up but her shoulders remained slumped forward in defeat. Her eyes focused on the shrine in front of her. It seemed so odd that Shizuru would have a shrine in the room where she would commit such atrocities to her body. Then again maybe it was more fitting than she initially thought. Wasn't a shrine also for admitting your sins and asking forgiveness? Her mind wandered to the hidden places she kept tucked away... How many lives had she taken in her short life time? How much turmoil and disaster had she caused over the years? In her search for answers she'd done many horrible things but the truth was she didn't regret a single one.

Until now.

Until Shizuru Fujino.

A slow sigh passed her lips. Why did she ever have to meet that girl? If she never would have transferred into Fuka she could have bypassed all of the future heartache. Then again... Would she have missed those crimson eyes if she'd never had the pleasure of staring into them? Something told her she would have. Despite everything her heart was the red-eyed girls. It always had been and her denial of that was what led them both to this. It was all her own fault and now she would finally have to accept her fate.

A confession of sins, huh? What if you'd committed way too many to ever confess in one life time? Well... May you meet a swift end. The only question left lingering in her mind was would she go to Heaven? Inwardly she chuckled. No, she deserved to burn for all she'd done and there was no doubt now that she would.

Her right hand shot out from her side and was engulfed in an instant flash of blue light. The pistol felt unusually light in her hand as she examined the barrel, running her fingers across the length of steel. A small, almost lost smile crept onto her lips as her eyes closed and she pressed the barrel against her temple. No... Heaven wasn't meant for monsters. Her hand was shaky but she steeled her nerves and focused her finger on the trigger.

As the shot rang out Natsuki slumped forward onto the floor face first, the ice bullet exploding into the wall beside her. Her gun slid across the floor but before it came to a halt it vanished in a blue haze.

From behind the bluenette crimson eyes glowed in the darkness. She had watched the entire ordeal play out; only stepping in once Natsuki had materialized her element. A swift knock to the back of the head with the blunt end of her naginata right before Natsuki fired seemed sufficient enough. Silently she watched the slumped over form of her 'friend'. Inside her emotions waged a war with her sanity, pressuring her to decide between saving Natsuki or killing her on the spot. Each seemed to have their strong points but something else was on Shizuru's mind.

With calculated steps she inched closer to the downed bluenette. She took a knee beside her and leaned over, allowing the backside of her hand to stroke Natsuki's cheek. The gash from her naginata marred that beautiful flesh and silently she scolded herself. Her eyes lingered on the beautiful face of her most precious person. In her time knowing Natsuki she never would have thought their friendship would come to this...

As much as she had suffered mentally, physically, and internally at the hands of Natsuki...

She couldn't let her go. This girl meant more to her than anyone else ever had. Some how the pain, the deception, the lies, the... Abuse felt like home. She closed her eyes momentarily and then pulled her hand away from Natsuki's cheek.

"Ara Natsuki... I can't let you end it." Shizuru said softly as her crimson opened to once again take in the visage of her friend lying on the floor. "Not... just yet." Her element dematerialized and she leaned forward, sliding her arm underneath Natsuki and hoisting her up. Silently she turned and was engulfed by darkness.

---

_Also a side note: My band will be doing a lot of shows this month so these updates might be a little late. I apologize in advance but that project of mine is very special to my heart so naturally it will come first. I promise updates WILL come though!_


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